Orc Club || MIM-I Ep. 4

Introduction: Orc Club || MIM-I Ep. 4

About: The name says it all. And Sea Shanties. I like those too.

Because you can never have too many weapons, evidently.

The Fourth MIM-I Episode, so hold your hats everybody, this is gonna be great.

I was bored. I had just gotten a hatchet. So I made a club, and I made it orc-ish.

I'd tell you this is a collaboration with Jake Makes, and I should probably mention the MIM-I thing as well, you know, how we're building things for no apparent reason, and how they're all themed in a particular way. Yup, should probably mention that.

But honestly, I'm way to tired of saying this at the beginning of my builds, so let's just get into the project.

We're building a club, folks.

Step 1: Log + Hatchet = Club.

I had just cut this log out of our creek, because the tree had died, and I didn't want to waste any wood. I don't know why I decided on a club. It just sort of popped in my head (I'm not an orc, I swear)

Tools I used? I don't like listing those either. I think I used a hatchet, belt sander (not necessary, I was just lazy), walnut stain, messy cordage-stuff, red spray paint (you'll learn why later), and a lighter (to burn the cordage, not the spray paint).

Nice thing about this project, is you don't need no fancy plans or tools. I literally just got down to the bare minimum and built myself a cool prop. I could've done this with just a hatchet; the other tools are for decorative-stuff (Yup, you can decorate a club)

Step 2: I'll Put a Title in Here Sometime or Another, Because I Am Way Too Lazy to Even Bother Thinking of Something.

It's time to go to work, boys!

Lesson number one; just keep swinging, just keeping swinging, just keep swinging. That's basically all I learned.

Also, avoid chopping your arm off with the axe. Or leg. Or anything, really.

The general shape of the club I was going for wasn't in the movies. In fact, I'm not really sure if this an Orc club. The thing just looks ugly and that's sort of what I was going for. While I was working, I sort of thought about how simple this weapon was (philosophy time); a desperate soldier could make this in a day (like me), with just an axe, on the road.

Whatevs.

Keep swingin' that axe. If your arm has felt like it's turned to stone, and your veins are pumping with lead, you're probably doing something right. You're likely somewhere in the green area.

Step 3: Much Nicer...

Not much to say here, I just had lots of extra pictures and it started to look less like a log.

Rock 'dem sea shanties!

I didn't like how rough the club was looking (I want it rough, but not too rough), so I rigged up the belt sander and sanded out some of the axe marks. It makes it look nicer, while still making it ugly, like it came from Gundabad (Orc place, you probably know what it is better than I do)

Step 4: The Staining Thing.

After the sanding was done, I got some walnut stain (we seriously need to get more of that stuff), and used some paper towels to 'besmudge' the club at all angles.

A paintbrush can be helpful, for getting into all the nooks and crannies.

If I said anything else, I'd insult your intelligence, but Jake already did that, so...;)

Step 5: Makin' More 'medieval-ish'

It was dark and late one night...

I was in the garage, wondering how to finish this build. The darkness found me, again. It gnawed at my fears and doubts, making me wonder if a club could beat a mace....

Would this build be as epic? Would it fail? Would it get an x-rating for the use of red spray paint (I swear I'm not an orc)

I had fallen low.

I was fallen.

I was low.

I was...

Depressed.

And there, in a holy beam of light from the sky (I don't care that there was a roof), a roll of cordage was illuminated on the shelf. It was rough. It was ugly. It looked like something from under my bed.

It was perfect! I wrapped the handle with the cordage and then burned it with a lighter to get rid of all those loose hairs and such.

What I did next was weird. I dunno why I did it, I just did. So please, Instructables, don't kick this tutorial off the website. In fact, please put it on the front page (I've resorted to begging, now, lol)

I sprayed little splotches of red across the hammer and smudged them with a paper towel. I wanted the club to look like it'd been in a fight before, sort of battle-hardened and ugly.

Step 6: All Finished!

Well, now it's finished and I'm happy.

This club was a fun little (relatively, of course) project which didn't take me very long, about a day in total. It's surprisingly heavy, and it's about three feet long (I seriously didn't measure it, sorry)

I made the handle overly large; your hand encircles it, but you need big hands (which I have, fortunately)

If you want to read the last couple MIM-I projects, here they are;

Big 'ol WARHAMMER

Viking Knife

Jake's wanna-be Mace

^ Jake's gonna kill me...

Thank ya'll for reading, see ya next time.

I pass the baton to you, Jake.

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    6 Discussions

    Oh, and great job. Any Gundabad orc would be proud. Lol, laughed way too hard reading this....

    3 replies

    This isn't a funny I'dible, Jake. This is serious. Very serious. I'm frowning at you through the computer screen, right now. This is meant to be taken literally. There is no humor in this at all.

    Apologies, my lord. Let it never be said that Jake thought Brokk was un-serious. Ever.

    I like the sound of that! 'My lord'...hmm.

    Oh, wait, this is serious. Un-humoress, very.

    My wanna-be has the ability to blow your face through the back of your bedroom door.

    Fear the mace Brokk. Fear the mace.

    1 reply