Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster

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About: I get restless, so I make things.

Intro: Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster

The recipe for the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster from the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is as follows:

  1. Take the juice from one bottle of that Ol' Janx Spirit.
  2. Pour into it one measure of water from the seas of Santraginus V (Oh, that Santragian seawater! Oh, those Santragian fish!)
  3. Allow three cubes of Arcturan Mega-gin to melt into the mixture (it must be properly iced or the benzene is lost).
  4. Allow four litres of Fallian marsh gas to bubble through it, in honor of all those happy hikers who have died of pleasure in the Marshes of Fallia.
  5. Over the back of a silver spoon float a measure of Qalactin Hypermint extract, redolent of all the heavy odors of the dark Qalactin Zones, subtle, sweet, and mystic.
  6. Drop in the tooth of an Algolian Suntiger. Watch it dissolve, spreading the fires of the Algolian Suns deep into the heart of the drink.
  7. Sprinkle Zamphuor.
  8. Add an olive.
  9. Drink . . . but . . . very carefully . . .

The methods and ingredients used in the preparation of the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster vary slightly when mixing the drink on Earth. This recipe describes suitable ingredient substitutions for those that cannot be found on this planet.


Step 1: Santraginus V Sea Water

Chanh Muối, or Preserved Lemons provide a saltiness similar to that of Santraginus V Sea Water.

Smash one quarter of one preserved lemon into the bottom of each glass, preferably with a small gold brick.

Step 2: Arcturan Mega-gin

Arcturan Mega-gin is not so different from earth gin. The "mega" is due to the fact that the gin is ultra bruised from traveling through the depths of the most turbulent space at the speed of an Arcturan megacamel in a dark matter powered blender. Unfortunately, nothing on earth has enough power to bruise gin to this extent, so we will simply shake it with ice as vigorously as possible for 30 seconds. But wait! The gin must be shaken with the tooth of an Algolian Suntiger. Read on.

Step 3: Fallian Marsh Gas and Ol' Janx Spirit

Fallian marsh gas provides a slight carbonation to the cocktail. Ol' Janx Spirit has a flavor not dissimilar from ginger. Luckily, ginger beer has both of these qualities.

Step 4: Qalactin Hypermint Extract

Qalactin Hypermint extract can be described as subtle, sweet, and mystic. Unfortunately for humans, the flavor is so subtle, it tastes no different than ice.

Step 5: Algolian Suntiger Tooth

The Algolian Suntiger is a ferocious beast; it is lucky that none exist on earth. 1 habanero pepper shaken with gin and ice provides a warming sensation to the drink, similar to that of the AT tooth.

Step 6: Zamphuor

Zamphuor is simply crushed ice.

Step 7: Pan Galactic

The final recipe, with consideration for the substitutions described.

3 parts gin

2 parts ginger beer

1/4 preserved lemon, per glass

1/2 habanero per glass

ice

Smash 1/4 preserved lemon in each glass. Shake, gin, ice and sliced habanero pepper for 30 seconds. Distribute in glasses. Nearly top glasses with ginger beer. Sprinkle with crushed ice. Garnish with an olive.


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    44 Discussions

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    schlem

    4 years ago on Step 7

    Delightful, perfect. Alas, no mention of voluntary organizations that exist to help you recover afterwards.

    1 reply
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    rcraven1schlem

    Reply 4 years ago on Step 7

    Grin, they may not exist yet on our planet. Might have to start one.

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    rcraven1samgj

    Reply 4 years ago on Step 7

    Read the 'Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy' by Douglas Adams. It is one of the funniest sets of books ever written (also radio show, tv show, and a movie) ....unless of course you don't like sci-fiction....or comedy...

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    pdubinskyrcraven1

    Reply 4 years ago on Step 7

    or the funniest book ever written. Read it and you'll never look at 42 the same way again.

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    Lorax98

    4 years ago on Introduction

    Ok. First I had to make preserved lemons. Not too hard, just takes about a week. Then I had to gather the remaining ingredients. Habanero peppers are not in season; it took a few stores to find fresh ones. Got it all together, mixed it up as per the instructions, and.......tasted a lot like dirt. Not horrible, but definitely an earthy flavor from the pepper. I am not sure I will try to make this beverage again. But, on the plus side, I have some preserved lemons the next time I broil salmon or chicken. Thanks for the romp down the Hitchhiker memory lane.

    1 reply
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    wizgirlLorax98

    Reply 4 years ago on Introduction

    Perhaps you would describe it as the alcoholic equivalent to a mugging?

    Thanks for trying it. It certainly has a unique flavor and should have a nice burn.

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    riff raff

    4 years ago on Introduction

    “The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy also mentions alcohol. It says that the best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, the effect of which is like having your brains smashed out with a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick.” -- Douglas Adams

    :) :) :)

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    Lerrinus

    4 years ago on Introduction

    I remember reading various recipes for this but the best instructions ever after the ingredient list were: "mix, and find a nice place to land!"

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    kaijura

    4 years ago on Introduction

    oh man! i literally almost lmao! miss douglas adams but so nice that he lives on in delightful libations and other tributes to "just this guy"

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    agp101838

    4 years ago on Introduction

    omg at 75yrsold I have NO idea whatinthehell all these ingreds are but I'm doing my best to figger it all out cause it sounds exactly like something I would love! Thanx...

    I've always liked this "translation":

    http://lookoutofanywindow.blogspot.com/2009/10/real-pan-galactic-gargle-blaster.html

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    Howder1951

    4 years ago on Introduction

    I am tyeing this using tplkinpsis.

    Pvpry timp I hit an P i gpt a e, is it from the drink?

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    ilpug

    4 years ago on Introduction

    I like it. I think I'll have to share my own version in the future