Pocket Sized Cardboard Voodoo Torture Kit

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In the Ancient times of the 21st century workers got angry with co-workers and their bosses. Pupils got angry with their teachers and head-teachers. Friends got angry with enemies but all these ancient people knew they would get hurt or excluded or fired if they let their anger fly on the people they hated. They came up with a solution! A portable voodoo torture kit! To vent their frustration without actually hurting anyone! What a good idea...

A Few Notes:

  • I'm not from the future = D
  • This instructable would be a lot better if I had a 15 Mega-pixel camera, but I tried.
  • I would have entered this into the pocket sized contest but I didn't know it had stopped accepting entry's
  • This is kind of a joke because i'm not expecting anyone to make one

Step 1: Tin of Pain

Many years ago in the 21st century their used to be a thing called a 'mint'. They where rather like sweets but instead of tasting sweet they tasted 'minty' our historians have yet to discover what 'minty' tastes like. But historians have discovered that there was a mint called 'altoids' and they where very popular. They also came in tins that once all the mints had been eaten could be used to make a portable voodoo kit as described in the intro.


  • I know its not proper altoids but its the same tin
  • You Will also need the things in the second picture.
  • You may want to use a lighter instead of matches

Step 2: Victim Preperation

Sir Charles I Diot discovered that people from the 21st century used to prepare the victims with care and preperation. Carefully cutting them out of cardboard and colouring them in, even naming them.


  • Depending on what torture methods you choose you will have to make your victims long and thin or short and fat like me because I used matches instead of a lighter.

Step 3: Portable Torture Stand

The ancient peoples soon realized that to torture people effectivley, they needed a torture stand to hang people of and to burn them without hurting themselves.


  • Its easier to follow the pictures but

1. Take a strip of cardboard

2. fold it into a triangle staple it so it stands up

3. Make sure it folds over to fit in the tin

Step 4: Methods of Torture

Our Forebears used to take delight in choosing the methods of torture. The most common method though was burning the victim. Either using matches or a lighter. They sometimes used birthday candles that where stuck into the ground because matches slowly burned the hole stick and users hands and metal caps on lighters grew hot. They also used pins and string to hang the victims although they gave up on that method because they found that is wasn't satisfying enough.


  • For Information on using the torture stand see the pictures

Step 5: Usage of Your Torture Kit

Use it anywhere you want and whenever you get angry with someone!


  • Try not to set anyone or anything thats not in the kit on fire
  • Try not to set any smoke alarms off



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    24 Discussions


    Reply 9 years ago on Introduction

    Orange ( I think you mean pink ) are non safety and can be struck on rough opjects eg. paving slabs on the street. Red tipped matches are safety matches and can only be struck on the box. I think this is correct and I hope it helps!

    chicks dig mepoparoo4

    Reply 9 years ago on Introduction

    its quite alright. thank you for your great attitude twards people. it almost makes up for the rude behavior some others exibit.


    9 years ago on Introduction

    Thanks If you really are going to vote for me! Youve made my day!