Introduction: Portal Cake (NOT a Lie)
I've wanted to make this ever since I first saw the Cake contest. Honestly, I'm surprised no-one has made one, save the Rick Roll cake, which is a lie. So at the urging of the voices in my head, my GLaBox360, and siblings, I made the cake. I'll admit, this project had a steep learning curve. Could it have turned out better? Of course, but it was delicious(and moist) nonetheless. So enough babbling, let's make some cake already!
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Step 1: Gather Materials
Best not to constantly raid the cupboard, Just get what you want now. The nice thing about the portal cake is that you can't be too sure what the hack what is. Are those red things cherries, rhubarb, or high explosive? You never can tell. However, what I used:
-Cake Mix (One box, plus whatever it says you need)
-Chocolate (I used chips, you could use shavings, squares, whatever)
-Frosting (White, for sure)
Equipment wise, you'll want:
-Two 9-inch pans (Nonstick, preferably)
-Pam (For if you don't have Teflon pans. Trust me, you'll need this)
-A Mixing bowl
-A mixer (Someone to mix for you, the electric kind, or both. It's up to you)
Step 2: Make the Cake Bases
No real instructions here, they're on the box. If you really desperately need instructions, you probably shouldn't be cooking. But, do please remember to spray your pans with non-stick, we forgot the first time around, and one of the cakes broke, irreparably. We had to bake another batch, but hey, we got a free third layer. Whatever works, I guess.
Step 3: Gentlemen, Start Your Frosting!
Now that you have your cake out, and hopefully not in pieces, now is the time to start your frosting base, which the chocolate will stick to. Put the first layer on a plate(you can put wax paper under it, if you're so inclined), and put a layer of frosting on the top of the cake. You want a thin layer, just enough for the second layer to grip to. Repeat, if you were so unlucky to mess up your first batch of cake. Now, put a medium layer on the top of the cake, along with along the sides. I don't have much of a solution to frosting the sides, I simply went over it with my knife again and again until it was all smooth.
Step 4: Now, the Chocolate
Now that the cake is frosted, we get to add that brown stuff. No, not THAT kind, I mean chocolate. Depending on the size of your food processor put a batch of chocolate chips in, and turn it on, pulsing every few seconds. They key is to break the chips into tinier pieces. After that's done, start putting you pieces all around the cake. It took me about almost two bags to cover my cake.
Step 5: Finish Up the Cake
Now, all we need are the cherries and candle. First, mark the eight spots where the cherries will be with whipped cream, and put the cherries on. Then, put a tiny dab of cream in the center, and jab yer candle right there. Light it, and you're done. YAY!
Step 6: Eat That Cake!
Why else would you make a cake? If I have to give you detailed instructions for this, then I'm sorry, I can't help you whatsoever.
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