Re-thread Your Running Shorts Drawstring With an Ancient Babylonian Rolling Seal!

If you've ever had troublesome compression shorts like I have then you know that you need to tie off the drawstring before running them through the laundry. You also know that you don't always remember and that it doesn't always work. I'd always wanted to write a completely gratuitous instructable, and decided that when it happened again tonight, this was my chance.

A few years back, I got sick of everyone in my office buying the newest smartphones and apparently using them to poop more than for anything else. I decided rather than take the latest newest toy into the stall with me that I wanted to go in exactly the opposite direction, and I began assembling my pocket antiquary. So far I have beads, coins, armor studs, a faience scarab, etc. from cultures across the classical, levant and pagan Celtic worlds. My centerpiece is this Babylonian rolling seal dating to around 700 BCE according to the papers. Now when I get bored (and remember to carry it) I pull out the antiquary and touch about 20000 years of human civilization (and there's nothing any docent can do to stop me!)

Step 1: Get Your Stuff Together

For this tutorial, you'll need a pair of running shorts with the drawstring all the way out, a toothpick, your ancient Babylonian rolling seal with a lengthwise beadhole, the provenance papers (you wouldn't want to do this with something that wasn't already in a private collection before 1970 after all) and a tooth pick.

Step 2: Fit, Thread and Tie Off Your Seal

First, make sure your seal will fit in the drawstring buttonhole. Don't worry about stretching it out-you already have that problem. You may need to undo the knot that's supposed to keep this from being a issue, but which clearly isn't doing so. Poke it through the center bead hole of the seal with the toothpick if you have to. Loop the drawstring around the seal, put a double-knot in it and pull it to one end of the seal.

Step 3: Work It

Insert the seal in the drawstring buttonhole and work it through the drawstring channel. The size and shape of the seal should make it possible to run all the way around the waist in a minute or less. If you take one-handed pictures of the process, only look at them on your camera screen because they look better there than when you look at them on a tablet or larger. Pull the seal out of the opposite drawstring buttonhole and even the exposed ends of the drawstring.

Step 4: Free the Seal

Untie the seal from the drawstring and re-knot the drawstring if you untied a knot to get it through the seal. Put away the seal and wear the running shorts as usual, and try to remember to tie them off the next time.

Incidentally, I used to be a commercial and fine art photographer, but at some point, I just stopped giving a damn. Smart phone software and low internet standards have destroyed that craft so these photos are blurry and you get what you get. Hope you don't mind and maybe were a little entertained or aided by this.

Step 5:

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