aka: Retro-Futurist/Neo-Victorian Ocular Beautification Device
Based on the premise that the world looks better after a few drinks, Professor Fate has created a Ocular Beautification Device. Worn like a set of goggles, the device renders all that you see more beautiful than before. Your old steam carriage will appear to be the latest model. Your spouse will appear to be more beautiful than on your wedding day. A woman's jiggle fun parts will appear larger and tighter, as will a mans "Man servant". Your squalid home will become a castle, and all your meals will be fit for a king.
Ocular Beautification Device: Makes everyday a bright and shiny one.
Thanks to Tony Millionaire and Drinky Crow for giving me the idea.
Step 1: First Assemble the Tools and Materials
You'll need these items to make your basic "beer goggles"
- Two beer bottles
- Eyecup, or Flip-up Welding goggles
- Various bits and pieces from your parts bin
- Emery paper
- Contact Cement
- JB Weld
- Rubbing alcohol
- Plastic electrical tape, or friction tape.
- Bottle Cutter
- Rotary tool and various bits.
Step 2: Cut Your Bottles
Wearing eye protection, gloves, and a dust mask, follow the instructions supplied with your bottle cutter to cut the bottle below the neck. Leave enough room for the goggles to slip inside. For short goggles, cut near the neck, for longer ones, cut closer to the bottom of the bottle.
Cutting bottles takes practice, I went through a dozen before I could make a clean enough separation. Some small bumps may remain, and these can be sanded down.
Follow the bottle cutter instructions about sanding the cut edges precisely. Cut glass is very sharp, and will cut you. Always wear eye protection and a dust mask when working with glass to prevent damage to your eyes and lungs. Inhaling glass dust is dangerous.
Step 3: Trim the Lens Cap on the Goggles
Place a sanding attachment into the rotary tool. Wearing your eye protection trim the outside of the lens cap by sanding it down just enough for it to fit into the cut bottle.
Wear your goggles.
I recommend wearing a long sleeved top for this step, the plastic flies everywhere.
After trimming, clean the lens cap, and the inside of the bottle with rubbing alcohol to remove any residue.
The plastic you are sanding off becomes very hot, and has sharp edges. Seek medical attention immediately if it enters your eye.
Step 4: Attach the Cut Bottles to the Lens Caps
Apply a thin coating of contact cement to the inside of the bottle, and to the outside edge of the lens cap. Allow between 5 and 15 minutes for the cement to dry.
While you are waiting for the cement to dry, start to gather your bits and pieces from your workshop junk drawer that you will be applying to the goggles later.
Once the cement has dried, insert the lens cap into the bottle.
After it has dried, overnight if you can, apply a layer of plastic tape over the edge of the glass.
Step 5: Test Fit the New "beer Bottle Lens" to the Goggles
Screw the new lens onto the goggles for a test fit. This step will also show you which side if the bottle is the top. You can now start adding your flair to the goggles.
JB weld will attach anything to glass. Read the mixing instructions carefully. You may need to hold the parts together with masking tape until the JB sets.
You may want to paint the JB welded areas with gold or black paint.
I find that building your display case as you are building the goggles is a very handy. It gives you a place to set your parts as they are drying between steps.
Featured in MAKE blog: http://blog.makezine.com/archive/2009/09/steampunk_beer_goggles.html