The Anti-Doughnut: a Horrible Prank




About: I got an old sewing machine when I was just a kid, and I've been hooked on making stuff ever since. My name is Sam and I'm a community manager here at Instructables.

It is a scientifically proven fact that doughnuts make people happy.

Don't doubt me; this is hard science backed by high-tech computer models.

Presenting a person with a box of doughnuts will immediately induce an anticipatory glee that is unrivaled by any human experience.

However, when this person opens the doughnut box to find the most horrid of all edibles . . . their euphoric state will be shattered and they will most likely experience extreme nausea and violent bouts of dry-heaving.


. . . . .

What is this ANTI-DOUGHNUT that I speak of? Read on, my friend!

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Step 1: Broccoli: Anti-Doughnut

Based on a simple observation of universal human responses, we can extrapolate that broccoli is the exact opposite of doughnuts.

It is, therefore, the only suitable item for a doughnut prank-swap.

Put on your hazmat suit, plug your nose, and buy a few bunches of the nasty green stuff.

You will also need an empty doughnut box. I bought a dozen doughnuts and just asked for a couple extra boxes, which they gave me for free.

Step 2: Prepare the Poison

For the broccoli to have the full intended effect, I highly recommend blanching it first. This will make the sickly green color really pop.

Wash and cut the broccoli bunches into pieces, and drop them into boiling water for one minute.

Remove and promptly dunk the broccoli in ice water until the pieces are fully cooled. Remove from water, and let the pieces dry thoroughly.

Then air out your house, because it will smell like death.

Step 3: Let's Up the Insult Level

I decided to up the insult level inflicted on anyone that wants to eat a doughnut by including a photo of Michelle Obama inside the box, along with an actual quote from the First Lady.

Okay, maybe not. I doubt Michelle Obama has ever said these words in this order, ever.

And I personally will gladly eat a dozen donuts in one sitting, so the made up quote is only poking fun at myself. Those of us with thicker skin (or perhaps thicker sub-dermal layering) should enjoy the self-referential humor, which is aided beautifully by the perfectly condescending- and sanctimonious-looking photo of Mrs. Obama.

If this offends anyone, you need lighten up (figuratively, at least) by eating a few more doughnuts! :)

If you want to add this to your doughnut box, simply print out the picture and glue it to the inside lid of the box.

Or even easier, you could just write a comment or insult in there with a marker.

Step 4: Load the Green Emetic Into the Box

Load the broccoli into the doughnut box.

Step 5: All Done!

Now, stick the closed doughnut box somewhere where an unsuspecting doughnut-lover may pass by and think they're in for a special sugary treat.

I recommend lying in wait to watch their reactions. Some people will do nothing. Some will be happy and eat the broccoli. Others will curse and throw tantrums.

Step 6: Now Don't Be a Meanie

Please get some real doughnuts to share when the prank is done, to help ward off any broccoli-nausea you may have caused.

And you might as well bring along a tub of ranch dip for all that broccoli.


Step 7:

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115 Discussions


3 years ago

If you want to be REALY MEAN then blend the cooked broccoli an using a straw suck the jam out some doughnuts ,replace the filing with the broccoli goo then love that for an unsuspecting victim!

2 replies

3 years ago

A friend of mine took the cruelty of the joke too far, by getting un-filled donuts (his girlfriend worked at the donut place and helped him do this) and filled the donuts--not with cream, but with MAYONNAISE. Hilarious, but seriously disgusting!

4 replies

Reply 1 year ago

I know, it makes me gag just thinking about it :P but still hilarious


Reply 3 years ago

I know someone who did something similar, but instead of mayonnaise he used horseradish sauce...


1 year ago

sometimes I enjoy the comments just as much or more than the original instructable. It's also fun to see just where the comments in a full on discussion of everyones' favorite/worst vegetable!!! loved it :0) ( I love Every single veggie except eggplant)


2 years ago



3 years ago

Reminds me of many years ago when I was the manager of a small diner. It was April 1st and I convinced a waitress that Ex-Lax now made an "egg-flavored" version. When her break came up she ordered an omelet. Once she'd eaten some, I used subtle hints to gradually make her believe that I'd actually used the fictitious Ex-Lax in her omelet. My funny bone was quite tickled until a couple hours later, when I admitted that it was an April fools joke, and she said she'd nearly quit on the spot. I guess the joke would have been on me then!


3 years ago

Brussel sprouts would work better!


4 years ago on Introduction

Am I the only person out there that actually likes broccoli?? (I like donuts, too... but I also want to keep losing weight!) I'll second the motion about Brussels Sprouts, though, and the do make excellent small missiles, especially combined with a miniature trebuchet!

5 replies

Reply 3 years ago

I like brocoli too-but I think my little brother likes it even more. When he was three, he would sneak into the fridge, grab a whole head of brocolli, and just start eating it!


Reply 3 years ago

I'm not big fan of raw broccoli; but can handle it in a salad.

It's better cooked; but too many people cook it 5-10 minutes too long. That's gross. Steamed for 3-5 minutes and buttered— that's in the top five dishes for me.


Reply 4 years ago on Introduction

Haha, I was thinking the same thing! I mean sure, it'd be unexpected, but for me personally, I don't think I'd mind all that much. I might even grab a few handfuls! ;)

Celery on the other hand... that's a whole new brand of evil!


Reply 4 years ago on Introduction

I just chopped up some carrots and celery to go on a salad. Carrots are strong, so I use them as an accent. And hardly ever cook them, unless it's baked when they caramelize, yum.

Celery I throw in soup; it gives a nice flavor. The leaves are the best. When I don't have fresh celery I have to use celery salt.