Intro: The Headache Machine
No this is not a Virtual Boy from 1994, it is however an amazing device that you yourself can create in about 30 minutes. To good to be true you say? That’s what people said about the Flowbee. This Instructable is for those of you who have a complete disregard for yourself and those unfortunate enough to be anywhere near you. Actually building this device can lead to hearing damage, loss of balance and other inner ear problems, and a sudden loss of friends. You may also find that your pets and loved ones have abandoned you.
Step 1: Ingredients:
This is our first Instructable so we decided to keep it simple. These are the parts you will need in order of importance. Feel free to substitute any of these items for what you have available to you of course why even bother making it if you’re going to be like that.
1. A Holy Relic: We chose a fine paraffin candle from our local pharmacy. While obviously a reproduction it will still bestow luck and fortune to your device.
2. A Project Box: It’s like an Altoids tin for someone who wants what they are working on to look good and not smell like a curiously strong piece of crap.
3. A Battery: We chose a 9-volt in case this device functioned properly and we were attacked by a roommate or loved one. The added weight of the battery will make the Headache machine more lethal if thrown in the vicinity of a person’s face or groin.
4. A Battery Harness: You could just solder the leads directly to the battery. You could also cut your own hand off if you really wanted to but just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should do it.
5. A Switch: We chose a 12VDC Toggle Switch with Safety Cover. While you can purchase these at your local electronics retail store we recommend springing for the “real deal” and getting one out of a Soviet era Mig fighter. It’s really worth the extra effort.
6. A Piezo Buzzer: This is also known as a Piezo Speaker. We chose a 76dB 6-18VDC buzzer. This guy is a nice balance of price, size, and obnoxious noise. You could mount two or more buzzers or batteries to influence frequency and output. We were going to hook this device up to a scope to get more information but instead we ate birthday cake.
Step 2: Switch Installation
1. Pick a spot on the test box for the switch. Keep in mind you have to fit everything in the box and close it so leave room for the battery, the buzzer, wires, and any contraband you deem necessary to hide.
2. Drill a hole. We suggest drilling a smaller hole or “pilot hole” to help guide to the final drill bit in the right location. If you don’t not have access to a drill please wait to complete this project until after reading our next Instructable on converting a common household mixer into a powerful drill. Unfortunately we are only 1/3 the way through the 18 tins of Altoids necessary to complete this project.
3. The final hole should be roughly the same size as the switch. If the hole is too small make it larger, however if it is too large we recommend filling the hole with automotive body filler and attaching a spoiler.
4. Test fit the switch in its newly drilled home you are going to be removing it so you can attach the buzzer. Does the switch fit snugly? Is the switch on the outside of the box? Is there enough room for the other components? If and only if you answered yes to these questions may you go ahead to the second part of the assembly. If you did not answer yes to these questions please consult your manual pages 121 – 148.
Step 3: Buzzer Installation
1. Find a suitable place for you buzzer to go. We recommend making a small hole roughly the same size as the hole in the buzzer so sound can pass freely and safely from inside the test box to the outside. This also allows to “play” the Headache Machine as a music instrument by placing your finger over the hole and removing it changing the tone of the sound.
2. Attach the buzzer to the box with adhesive. Epoxy, Super Glue, Gorilla Glue, Model Glue, or Wallpaper paste will all probably work for this. We chose PVC cement due to the fact that it was in the room and we didn’t have to walk far and because it smells terrific!
Step 4: Soldering and Final Assembly
Soldering and Final Assembly:
1. Solder the black lead from the buzzer and the black lead from the battery harness to the prong labeled “Ground” on the Switch. If you’re switch is not labeled just guess. You have roughly a 33% chance of getting it right and who’s going to know if you guessed wrong anyway?
2. Solder the remaining red lead from the buzzer to one empty prong on the switch and the remaining red lead from the battery harness to the remaining empty prong on the switch. If you do not have access to a soldering iron try using the heat of your stove to solder the components together. It is suggested that you not use lead based solder if you plan on continuing to cook on this stove.
3. After the solder is cool to the touch (try getting someone else to touch it in case they are not yet cool) reinstall the switch and tighten the plastic nut to secure the switch on the test box. Try and line it up straight or people who see it will think poorly of you.
4. Connect the battery to the harness and place it in the test box. If this is done correctly testing the switch should produce a harmonious sound that can be compared to a dentist drill playing on an Electric Light Orchestra LP.
5. If you’re Headache Machine works correctly place the project box cover on with the 4 supplied screws. This will require a screwdriver or a shank of some kind. If you need information on making a shank please see other future Instructables where we show you how to fashion one out of a toothbrush handle and a razorblade.
Step 5: Finished
You have (hopefully) successfully completed the assembly of you’re very own Headache Machine. Use it for good or evil, take it shopping and leave it on in your pocket, or take it to a party and leave it on a table the future is bright when you spend your time creating things that annoy and anger your friends and loved ones.
Below is a link to a video of our Headache Machine hopefully your device functions similarly.