According to Douglas Adam's documentary A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: "A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have." I am here to share the most perfect towel ever made. I am sure it comes in many forms but the one I like comes from Walmart and is called "The Absorber".
Step 1: It's Never Actually Wet
How can a towel not get wet? Well if you can wring it out and make it dry then it's never wet. And that's the beauty of this towel. A thousand people could one at a time walk out of the lake and dry off with this towel. Each wringing it out before toweling off. It can not get too wet, just wring it out and carry on with life. It's perfect.
Step 2: It's Good at Bailing
I enjoy kayaking in an inflatable kayak. I tuck this towel in the lowest part of the boat and periodically wring it out over the side. It works unbelievably well. I wring it out and continue with life. Also, not long ago, I went camping and had to set up in the rain. The tent was soaked, many puddles of water inside. I just used my absorber towel to soak up the water and wrung it out outside of the tent. It worked shockingly well. The tent was dry in no time.
Step 3: It's Super Convenient
If you're hooked on cotton towels you need at least two, especially if you line dry like I do. One is being washed while one is being used. Well with this amazing towel that is no longer a concern because it's never too wet. Feel free to wash it and then you can immediately use it to dry off. Just wring it out and continue with life. It's perfect.
Step 4: It's Ultralight
Ultralight backpackers rejoice!!! This is the lightest most effective towel made. I took one and cut it in fourths. That one fourth of an absorber towel tried me off quite well and weighed 0.75 oz. That's the weight of 4 quarters. You can not get lighter than this towel. And it never gets too wet. Just wring it out and keep on drying stuff.
Step 5: Conclusion
I know it's weird drying off with something meant for cars. But this thing is unreal. It will dry you and everything it touches like you wouldn't believe. And all you have to do is wring it out and it's good to go again. Here's a pro tip: when taking a shower take the absorber towel in with you and warm it up with the shower water. Make it nice and warm, turn the shower off, and dry off with a nice and warm towel. I've done it every day for a couple of years and it works great.
Enjoy the perfect towel!!
Step 6: Update December 2017
This is still my go to towel when I shower or swim or kayak or anything where I get wet. Also, in the last Olympic games I noticed the divers were using this type of towel when they exited the pool. I have to admit I was petty thrilled that actual Olympic athletes came to the same conclusion I did. That an everlasting towel is the way to go.