Remove Hair from your face with just the disposable blade cartridge part of a razor.
Lighten your spaceship by doing without handles and shaving lotions.

Step 1: The Grip

Some blade cartidges have little hooks on the back you can grip with the nails of your thumb and index finger.
This particular off-brand blade cartridge has no such hooks, so grip it like this.

Step 2: Scraping the Jaw, Scraping the Jaw Aw Aww!

For shaving cream, swish some water in your mouth and rub it on your face.
That will make the process lots less itchy and painful.

Continue til you are RICO SUAVE.
Be sure to check yourself in the mirror, say the rearview mirror of a parked car if you are shaving on the sidewalk.

re: the implications of using saliva and water for shaving cream, Rachel Norman has this to say:

so in saliva you have immunoglobulin A2 which is secreted by B cells but i am not super clear on
B cell location and tranport of IgA2 - something to look into for you. you also have a host of
enzymes in saliva - such as lysozyme - which begin digestion - and this is also bad news bears
for bacteria and other agents of infection that try to enter through the mouth.