Make a REAL Fake Mustache


Introduction: Make a REAL Fake Mustache

About: I'm here to impart and gain wisdom.

Fake mustaches are fun, but they tend to fall off at awkward times. Want to keep that "incognito" look, without the hassle of the constant struggle of dwindling adhesive effectiveness? Let Aimless J. Lackluster show you how!

Step 1: Grow a Mustache

"Handlebar" and "Sheriff" shapes are particularly effective. Not recommended for whispy "Teenage" mustaches. "Hitler" styles, although you may in truth be shooting for a "Chaplin" look, are likewise not recommended or endorsed by Aimless J. Lackluster. To enhance the fake look we are going for, be sure to keep the mustache impeccably trimmed. Also consider trimming it to appear slightly "off kilter," as if the mustache were placed on the lip at a slight angle.

Step 2: Get Some Hair Dye

Buy a package of hair dye which does not match your natural hair color. If you're blonde, go for Jet Black. If your hair is dark, go for Blonde or Auburn. I recommend "Just for Men Gel," although we are going for a different effect than the advertised, "It looks so natural... No one can tell" slogan.

Step 3: Dye the Thing, Already

Apply hair dye to mustache according to the manufacturer's instructions. Applying petroleum jelly to the skin surrounding the mustache area prior to dye application will help you to avoid embarassing tell-tale areas of dyed skin.

Step 4: Finishing Touches, and a New Outlook

Rinse, dry, groom, and venture out into the world with a renewed vigor, confident that your new "fake" mustache ain't going anywhere.



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    17 Discussions

    my best mustache ever was made from real hair taken from my lovely cat's rich hairs. I have a persian mixed european cat and has the appropriate size and color for mustache

    This is fine for MEN, but what about for us Drag Kings??

    Well, I didn't know that there was a humorous vein running through this site. Quite delightful!

    What the hell is wrong with that kid? It looks like he has iceing sugar in his hair or something crystaly

    3 replies

    Also too, did anyone notice how big his pupils are? I can bet that he's high on something.

    where does the hair come from. i am confused as to whether you grow it first then color it or what you are supposed to do. where does the mustache come from?

    4 replies

    You're missing the point. The mustache is real, but these instructions are meant to make it look fake.

    DING DING DING!!! Someone gets it. Go grab yourself a Churro, saites2001, and forward the bill to your 'ole pal Aimless J. Lackluster. You deserve it.

    i was confused by the kid with the mustache.

    Okay, so how do you make a FAKE real mustache? Or perhaps a pseudo-actual-placebo-genuine undernose-hairpiece?

    that alsome hay but could u explain just a little more