The "Way Too Chocolatey for Human Consumption" Cake




Introduction: The "Way Too Chocolatey for Human Consumption" Cake

This instructable will teach you how to make a deliciously chocolate cake from scratch! This instructable is meant for those who have never or barely ever bake delicious cakes. Mine was an early mothers day gift (Well it kind of was a spur of the moment decision, I just wanted to bake a cake!) My cake is not necessarily Beautiful, but it sure is good! This recipe is made up of 3 recipes.

1. Double chocolate cake: this is a deliciously moist chocolate cake that I added a few handfuls of chocolate chips to.
2. Cinnamon chocolate fudge frosting (Don't you just love that name!): This is a really creamy and sugary frosting that I successfully added some cinnamon to.
3. Dark chocolate spread: I made this with baking chocolate, some milk, and an egg (make sure it's a good egg because you are basically eating it raw)

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Step 1: Total Ingredients

In total:

1 bar bakers chocolate
Chocolate jimmies for decorating
1 1/2 cup (about 300 g) butter
1 3/4 c milk
3 1/2 cup confectioners sugar
1 1/2 tsp salt
1 1/2 tbsp vanilla
2 1/2 cups flour
1 1/2 tsp baking soda
6 tbsp cocoa
1 3/4 cup white sugar
4 eggs

Right now you should start letting the butter get to room temperature (it should get soft, but not too soft). If you think you can make the cake batter quickly, or if your oven takes a long time to heat up, you should start preheating your oven to 350.

Step 2: Start of the Cake Batter : Creaming the Butter and Sugar

the cake ingredients:

1 cup margarine
1 3/4 cups white sugar
3 eggs
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups milk
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
6 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon salt

Now we will start on the cake batter. First we need to cream the sugar and butter. If your butter is soft enough to stir, then you can cream it in a large bowl that the rest of the ingredients will be going into, If not, put it in a small saucepan on low heat. We don't want the butter to melt but we want it nice n' soft, creamy, and fluffy. Pour in the sugar (not confectioners) and stir it with a fork into the butter. If the butter starts turning into liquid, take your saucepan off the stove for a bit, but continuously stir. We are not trying to cook it but merely make it easier for us to stir. Once its creamed, it should look like in the first picture. Take it off the heat and set aside for a minute while we mix the other ingredients.

Step 3: Dry Ingredients

The dry ingredients: Mix together all the dry ingredients stated. I put in a lot more cocoa than the recipe called for, just so I could make it way too chocolatey for human consumption. Now we need to make the chocolate chips. For those in a country who can buy chocolate chips, do so, or if not, you can make your own. You will need about a 1/2 cup (the picture shows less, yeah I was wrong that time, but I know now, MORE CHOCOLATE!!!)

Chocolate chips: Take about half the bar of chocolate (this might be more than half a cup but the more the merrier!) Break it into squares, then using a knife, press down on the square and rock the knife forward and backward until the square breaks in two. You can also saw the pieces in half, but I found it was hard to do, and it made all these little chocolate shavings when I wanted chunks. Repeat on the two halves put next to each other so that you get quarters. Plop into the batter and continue.

Step 4: Mixing It All Up!

Mix the eggs and vanilla into the butter mixture. Transfer them to a bigger bowl that will be the main bowl. Now we will stir in the dry mixture in two parts so the stirring will be easier. Once it is all combined, pour in what milk is needed and viola! Cake batter!

Step 5: Greasing and Pouring

Greasing up the pan: There are a couple ways to do this: 1. just rub it all over with oil or butter so nothing sticks while its cooking. 2. Spray with nonstick cooking spray. 3. make a baking parchment tab. This tab I used because I was using a like 50 year old pan that I borrowed from my neighbor. What you do is you trace the circle of the bottom of your pan onto a piece of parchment paper, you then cut it out so in one place a flap of paper sticks out away from the circle (I did 4, no matter). If you are using a pan that has straight up sides, you could probably make a strip that will run along the side of the pan-also with a little tab to pull it off the cake with.

Now it is time to pour the batter into the pan. It won't spread itself out (or it will do so very slowly) so help it along with a spoon or one of those spreading spatulas. It should cook for 40 minutes but you have work to do during that time! When it is done, test it by sticking a toothpick in and seeing if it comes out clean. If It does, then the cake is done! Be careful when taking it out, the puffed up middle can easily sink in. Instead of having a mountain, our cake will have a valley.

Step 6: Ze Frosting!!

Frosting ingredients:

3 squares unsweetened baking chocolate
1/2 cup butter
6 tablespoons milk
3 1/2 cups confectioners' sugar
1 pinch salt
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 tbsp cinnamon

While your cake is cooking, we will start making the toppings.
Starting with the frosting so it can chill. Plop the chocolate, butter, and milk into a saucepan on medium heat. Stir frequently until its all melted and at a boil. Then we will take it off the heat and add the sugar, cinnamon and vanilla. Stir out the clumps, mine had too many clumps but they somehow disappeared when the frosting was on the cake. Aww well just stir them out. If the mixture does not feel like frosting at first, don't worry, it should not be water but it also should not be sludge. It should stir as if it were thin yogurt. Put it in the fridge until it gets good and spreadable. Now if it is not like frosting, just get it colder, until it is.

Step 7: Dark Chocolate Spread

The chocolate that is left
2 tbsp milk
dash confectioners sugar

The chocolate spread: This one is kind of tricky and I didn't do it very well, but it is good! First we must melt what is left of our bar of chocolate in double boiler. If you don't have one you can easily make one. Put a metal bowl on top of a pot of boiling water. Plop your chocolate pieces into the bowl and they will melt (stir frequently.) Then add the other ingredients. This doesn't need to chill.

Step 8: The Fun Part: Decorating!!

The cake is ready!!!: When the cake is done (check with that toothpick) you should carefully take it out of the oven. Once it is not hot and looks like it won't cave in, flip it out of the pan. Probably the real way to do this is to pop it out of the pan and then have it mountain facing up, but I (wrongly) popped it out of the pan and had the mountain side down, I got a ravine. No worries though, I filled it with chocolate spread and it was just like new!! We now peel of the baking parchment tabs.

Decorating!!: First as a base for decoration I covered the cake with frosting, try to make it even, that way it always looks better! Then I sprinkled it with sprinkles (jimmies).
After that I made one of those things bakers use to apply frosting with. I made that by folding a sheet of baking parchment so that it had a point. Then I taped it up by making rings of tape around the whole thing. The tape will not stick to the parchment paper alone because it is that special non-stick stuff, so I made rings of tape and taped the tape to its self. Make sure you have plenty of rings of tape. The stuff likes to leak out a lot, if it does, just tear off a piece of parchment paper and hold it over the leak. You can make a spiked tip to get cool patterns when decorating. I did that for the little swirls you see on its four corners.
Now if your frosting tube thing worked, you can make another one for the chocolate spread. Have fun decorating!! You can write things, draw things, whatever you want!!

Step 9: Your Done!!

Your cake is complete!!! Have fun and be proud that you made your very own "way too chocolatey for human consumption" cake from scratch!!! When I bit into my cake it really was way too delicious for human consumption! My mom said she could never buy another cake from the store again! But don't forget this day when this random person on the internet taught you how to make your very own cake from scratch, vote for his instructable, make him happy!

now in the pictures watch the making of my cake: Backwards ,i mean sdrawkcaB . . .

Runner Up in the
Cake Contest

Participated in the
The Instructables Book Contest

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    23 Discussions


    9 years ago on Step 8

    Instead of your parchment 'thing bakers use to apply frosting with', you can make an icing sleeve by cutting the corner off of a stiff bag (like a thick Ziplock bag -- thinner bags will stretch). Leave the top of the bag 'un-zipped' or poke a hole near the top so air can escape and you don't end up popping the bag as you squeeze the frosting out.


    9 years ago on Introduction

    *points out obvious* CAKE!!!!! I want to put that entire cake in my mouth whole, great cake!


    11 years ago on Introduction

    wrong... Nothing ist too chocolatey for me!!!!!!! The stronger the better.


    11 years ago on Introduction

    This looks really good, and Mother's Day is coming up soon. It will be the perfect gift! Thanks!


    Reply 11 years ago on Introduction

    thank me by voting! i want that cookbook!


    You probably would want to take a tastier looking first picture, but the rest looks amazing! That is way too chocolatey for human consumption!


    11 years ago on Introduction

    Wow! Ive never baked anything in my life, but i bet i could going by this!! Can't wait to try it!

    +1 to EVERYTHING!!


    11 years ago on Introduction

    That just looks eddible! (how do I vote...) +1


    Reply 11 years ago on Introduction

    top right corner of the instructable

    thanks for voting!!


    11 years ago on Introduction

    Put an equal sign (=) on both sides of the words.

    Example: =Eggs=
    That will come out as:



    11 years ago on Introduction

    GAHHHH im so frikin hungry now x.x maybe tommorow i'll make one +1


    11 years ago on Introduction

    I'm hungry now.
    Definitely deserves a:

    +1 vote.

    +1 rating.

    (added to favorites)