Make a REAL Fake Mustache

by Aimless J. Lackluster

117K917

Intro: Make a REAL Fake Mustache

Fake mustaches are fun, but they tend to fall off at awkward times. Want to keep that "incognito" look, without the hassle of the constant struggle of dwindling adhesive effectiveness? Let Aimless J. Lackluster show you how!

STEP 1: Grow a Mustache

"Handlebar" and "Sheriff" shapes are particularly effective. Not recommended for whispy "Teenage" mustaches. "Hitler" styles, although you may in truth be shooting for a "Chaplin" look, are likewise not recommended or endorsed by Aimless J. Lackluster. To enhance the fake look we are going for, be sure to keep the mustache impeccably trimmed. Also consider trimming it to appear slightly "off kilter," as if the mustache were placed on the lip at a slight angle.

STEP 2: Get Some Hair Dye

Buy a package of hair dye which does not match your natural hair color. If you're blonde, go for Jet Black. If your hair is dark, go for Blonde or Auburn. I recommend "Just for Men Gel," although we are going for a different effect than the advertised, "It looks so natural... No one can tell" slogan.

STEP 3: Dye the Thing, Already

Apply hair dye to mustache according to the manufacturer's instructions. Applying petroleum jelly to the skin surrounding the mustache area prior to dye application will help you to avoid embarassing tell-tale areas of dyed skin.

STEP 4: Finishing Touches, and a New Outlook

Rinse, dry, groom, and venture out into the world with a renewed vigor, confident that your new "fake" mustache ain't going anywhere.

17 Comments

agis68 13 years ago

my best mustache ever was made from real hair taken from my lovely cat's rich hairs. I have a persian mixed european cat and has the appropriate size and color for mustache

ninapratt 15 years ago

This is fine for MEN, but what about for us Drag Kings??

Daveed 15 years ago

Well, I didn't know that there was a humorous vein running through this site. Quite delightful!

Punkguyta 17 years ago

What the hell is wrong with that kid? It looks like he has iceing sugar in his hair or something crystaly

Punkguyta 17 years ago

Also too, did anyone notice how big his pupils are? I can bet that he's high on something.

Austinisi 17 years ago

where does the hair come from. i am confused as to whether you grow it first then color it or what you are supposed to do. where does the mustache come from?

saites2001 17 years ago

You're missing the point. The mustache is real, but these instructions are meant to make it look fake.

Aimless J. Lackluster 17 years ago

DING DING DING!!! Someone gets it. Go grab yourself a Churro, saites2001, and forward the bill to your 'ole pal Aimless J. Lackluster. You deserve it.

theburn7 15 years ago

i want a churro too!

Austinisi 17 years ago

i was confused by the kid with the mustache.

royalestel 17 years ago

You say that after every date!

LasVegas 17 years ago

Okay, so how do you make a FAKE real mustache? Or perhaps a pseudo-actual-placebo-genuine undernose-hairpiece?

Gthing 2.0 17 years ago

that alsome hay but could u explain just a little more