Tell us about yourself!
Spiral slice that potato and stuff it with a mixture of finely minced pepperoni, shallots, and grated parmesan. Bind that mix in by winding spaghetti thin slices of bacon into that spiral cut; and then deep fry that critical mass until it becomes a fully armed heart attack warhead.
What country are you from? I have never encountered these issues. Who charges for a shopping cart?