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Does anyone know how to tell someone to back off without being mean about it? Answered

I don't like being mean but  i don't know how to tell someone to stop bothering me without hurting their feelings  


Bothering you how?

It can be pretty tricky not to hurt someone's feeling when asking them to leave you alone, a lot of the time it's more how much.

You can try telling them how you feel (as in not wanting them bothering you) in a gentle manner but be firm about it, if you're too nice they'll not ever get the message...

You can't make it in life worrying TOO MUCH about hurting others feelings.  Some people are creeps, some are losers, some are INSANE STALKERS!  Everyone should be required by law to wear LABELS on their foreheads so we decent folk will know how to respond to them.  Unfortunately, nobody obeys that law. So all you can do is try a soft approach first.... "... You're a nice guy/girl, but not MY kind of nice... SORRY!."  If that doesn't work, move on up to the more forcefull.... "Get lost creep, or I'll MACE YOU!"  because this is probably a creep, looser or wingnut that has lost his FOREHEAD label.  If you are ALWAYS NICE, you will end up dating creeps.... or marrying one!

You have to let the know that you've noticed that they are interested in you but that your interests lie in other directions.

You can't just ignore them and expect them to understand since they might think you are just playing "hard to get".

If they don't get the message you have to be more firm with them.

If their attentions get too aggressive for you, you must get help from someone you trust.  Be that parent, teacher, friend or legal action.

Sometimes just a talking to by a male friend can do the job.

Good luck.

ignore them then they get the picture.


8 years ago

 I'm fairly certain there is not one fool proof method that will cover every person, situation, or any combination thereof. There's always that risk of hurting another's feelings, but you have the right to have your's respected. You might Google how to be assertive. Persons who take the time to place such information  on the web may have good proven tips for you to consider. Good luck...

You're going to have to risk hurting their feelings a bit. The best you're going to be able to do is find a gentle way to explain the request. One of the things we have to learn is how to assert ourselves; another is how to accept disappointment when someone else makes such an assertion.