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En France! Answered

Yes, you got it good, i'm going to France! Jus't one week. So dont worry. I will leave monday morning allready and I will arrive at friday night, so see you saturday morning! alty


Be careful ! Those peoples are insane and dangerous !
Plus, you'll have to cross an even more dangerous country : Belgium !! ...

For your safety, I highly recommend you don't cross the border : actually, try to stay on the border all along your travel and visit us with binoculars as much as possible !

Also :
- avoid contact with locals (we don't like to french-kiss foreigners)
- don't try to communicate with them (even more if you don't speak french)
- and please, don't throw us peanuts ! (we prefer bananas)

Here is a map for you :
- if you stay on the red line, you'll be able to travel from Netherlands and visit us from north to south without a problem !

Good luck !


Yes, Englishland is a weird cloudy and rainy island where people do a lot of weird things just to make us angry : - they drive on the left side - they still have an unguillotined queen - they speak English We had a lot of battles with them in the past for centuries, and they even tried to invade us several times because they were jealous we had more sun than them. Hopefully, todays we are friends. For instance our president recently visited their Kingdom and received all the greatest honors. That was very impressing.

Ok..... I see why Frenchemen became so crazy.... to much coffee, it must also be the consummation frogs legs at such a rate that the poor frogs are extinct, (and immigrating to Britain) and the French police carry around French bread batons for some really bizarre reason....

You see. You've understood why France is a dangerous place for tourists : they don't understand our "art de vivre" ("art of living").

However, seems that some tourists are more sensitive to it than some other.
For instance (and this happens for real !), many Japanese tourists end-up at psychiatric-hospitals when they come to visit us ...........


What are psychiatric-hospitals? We don't have any here....

*Innocent gaze* (-:

What are psychiatric-hospitals? We don't have any here....

Wow ! ... Finally, Englishland must be a more dangerous place than France if you let all your fools and psychos free in the wild ......... 8o(

(Hey, I think I understand a lot of things too now ... Note to myself : never goto Englishland.)

No, we don't evenhave any even wandering about the streets. =P (wasn't that clear?)

what about quebecland. slash that. quebeccountry!! okay, i think i just answered my question. BTW: i might be giong to france. it depends how well my brother does in the math contest

aside from the part in belgium, isnt that the smae red line that indicated the position of the maginot line? and what about dairy products? is it okay to throw those (here we throw cheese and bread at the first nations tribes when they get mad at us) if you do speak french, can you them communicate? maybe if you speak r e a l s l o w l y ? ?

aside from the part in belgium, isnt that the smae red line that indicated the position of the maginot line?

Exactly ! You are well documented little padawan ! Biscuit for you !

The Maginot Line (la Ligne Maginot) is our Chinese Wall local counterpart.
We are very proud of that little thing ... when we remember about it.
Yeah : Unfortunately, most of us don't even remember about it, and think it's something related to geometry, or that you mispronounced "imaginary line" or "marginal line", or that it's a group of island in the Pacific Ocean ...........

and what about dairy products?

Well, since USA put an embargo on our cheeses and pAtEs (thank you Clinton), we have enough of them. That's why we prefer when tourists throw us bananas. In exchange we throw them our excess of cheese and pAtE.

Sometimes, Netherlands throw us their excess of Gouda and Leerdammer, and we throw them our excess of Camembert and Roquefort.
That's how import/export relationships works here in the European Union.

if you do speak french, can you them communicate?

Then, you are authorised to try at your own risks.
The spectrum of possible reactions from a local that does not understand a tourist is very broad ...

For instance, here are some of the most inoffensive reactions you can get :
- a simple french-shrug (aka Gallic shrug)
- a "bof ..."
- a "comprend pas" (don't understand)
- a "pas le temps" (no times)
- a "qu'est ce que tu me chantes la, toi ???" (what are you singing to me ???)
- a "demandez a quelqu'un d'autre ..." (ask to someone else)
- a "et en francais ?" (and how about in french ?)

Talking slowly if you don't speak french correctly (ie, with a decent accent) is pure waste of time and energy ...................


j'imagine que tu peux parler francais?

what? and if you ask wetehr i'm french, no :P i'm just going there with school. and i dont know french :

ahh, bon. fai'que t'aura un guide? ohh. school trip. good luck anyways.


10 years ago

Have fun!