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How awkward can this get? Answered

I commented on one of my friend's pics on MIXI (because we now work with Japanese social networking).  It was of a cat with the Soviet logo painted on it's forehead.  She said that it was her head, then sent me a pic of her wearing a fur suit.  I have an awkwardness scale of 1-50, and this demolished the scale.  NO I WILL NOT SEND PICS.  it is already awkward enough...


What, in particular are you finding awkward about it? I think you're reading more into it than she intended.

So she likes to play with costuming and characters, either in competition or as "hall costume" at conventions or just for fun. Nothing wrong with that, nothing particularly kinky, and it isn't even all that unusual -- I know a few folks who do costume competition at an international level. Not everyone who wears an animal costume is a Furry, and not all furries are kinky. Especially in Japan, where cosplay (costuming as a favorite character) has been popular for some time among the younger set.

(I'd bet this soviet cat is an anime character, and I'd be interested in finding out why that particular character appealed to her. But that's just me.)

Treat it like any other picture someone sent you of one of their hobbies. Either ignore it (which will probably be understood as "not interested", or complement her on her costuming skill if you feel like doing so, or tell her about one of your hobbies if you feel like doing so, or say something like "I'm not quite comfortable with making this a more personal relationship right now; can we keep it on a business basis?"

If she had sent you a nude photo, _that_ would qualify as seriously awkward, especially if she's underage. This is just sociable. Somewhere between the two: Be glad she didn't send you a picture of herself in naughty-schoolgirl garb.


If the awkwardness is that you didn't recognize the first picture as a costume... That's a complement to her costuming skills, and I'm sure she was delighted.

I'd also add that if she was wearing a Nazi symbol rather than the Soviet logo, THAT would cross my sensitivity barrier and I'd point out to her that many will find this offensive.

Soviet? Shrug. The cold war has been over for quite some time, and even when it was in force I don't think any reasonable person has been offended by the mere fact that the Soviets existed since the McCarthy era ended.

... Actually, this reminds me of a convention I was attending where I noticed a young lady walking ahead of me in feline garb. The hardest part of getting that right is making the tail seem lifelike, and she'd done a particularly nice job with it -- some sort of spring wire with a body harness to anchor it, at a guess.

Which forced me to go over and tell her "I know this is going to sound awful, but I love the way your tail moves." Her response, as expected, was to take it as intended and answer "Thanks. I put a lot of work into that".

(Yes, there was just a bit of tease there, but it was kept at the just-a-complement nonthreatening level... and if she didn't want admiring comments about the outfit she wouldn't have worn it.)

Context is everything.

What's awkward about it? Your friend doesn't take very good photographs.

After re-reading the question ... I think you've got the right answer. And I'll stick with my response to that case: If she created a costume that could be mistaken for a real cat, she has reason to be very pleased, not offended.

Of course if you said something rude about the cat... well, about all you can say is "oops, sorry." (Rule given to student pilots: "When lost, climb and confess.")

You must deal with it because if you don't there will be an implied acceptance.

Perhaps you can say "no more pictures, please as they may contain virus's".
I have a rule about not opening photo's etc.

I won't answer your question directly, but rather address your situation. Really, if she crossed a comfort level and you want to remain her friend, you have two choices: 1.) readjust your comfort level, or 2.) talk to her about it.