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How do I commit to ONE person?/? Answered

I love him with all my heart and he has all the (well most) of the qualities I want in a man, but I just cant seem to commit my body and soul to him. My eyes and mind wander towards other men.


Forgive me if I'm wrong, but you sound young.

That means you have time to figure out what you want in a man, and if any particular man measures up.

But if your eyes and mind are wandering towards other men and wondering what a relationship with them would be like (rather than "oh, nice backside"), then you are not ready to commit permanently to the person you are currently with, and should not force yourself to be.

Someone once said to me me the best piece of advice. 'Don't marry someone you can live with, marry someone you can't live without' If he and you fall into the latter, then i suggest you find the strength to ignore the other men. Also, does your mind and body wonder to men you don't know? Remember to distinguish lust and love.

decide, and be faithful if you cheat, hell be upset, be tempted
if you really DO love him, stay with him, see where it leads to...

what do other men have to offer?
no safety or security

no one is perfect except jesus


9 years ago

I guess there could be several issues at play, when you say he has most of the qualities you want in a man, could the qualities that he is missing be bothering you.
It could be that you may have a problem with commitment this is not uncommon. Its really a behavioral pattern that develops early in our childhood in how we connect with others. It is actually a form of self-defense

If you haven't had a problem with commitment in past relationships then maybe the issue is him.
If you have had problems committing then you may need to examine what could be causing it. Basically try to examine you emotions; do you fear a lose of freedom, fear of betrayal, do you fear spending forever with one person, or maybe you just aren't ready yet, or you are waiting for the perfect guy to come along.

Ask yourself what kind (or kinds) of love are involved. Is this "I want him to have what he needs in life" or "I want him to have me"?

(Which is not to say your own feelings are unimportant, but thinking of your feelings only as the actions that others see helps you to think about the feelings more logically.)

Who says humans were even meant to mate for life? The idea of committing to a single person is cultural, and most often temporary. You've got to weigh the risks and sacrifice taking action when your mind wanders. You have to convince yourself that he is worth passing up the other people for.