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How do I get him to make the first move? Answered

Everytime my boyfriend and I get hot and heavy, I'm the one that makes the first move. It's not that he doesn't want to, it's just that I guess he likes the girl being in control. The problem is, I like the guy in control! How do I get him to make the first move without it being obvious?


You must talk to your partner about your preferences or you will rarely get what you want- pretty much isn't any other way.


9 years ago

TALK TO HIM...tell him about your...preferences...

Get together in a comfortable place, wear his favorite outfit of yours, and just wait. You might not have to wait very long ;) Yes, talking to him about it is very important. In the meantime take a moment to think about how HE feels about it. Like many guys, he was probably raised to be respectful to women. There's a whole bunch of unwritten rules and expectations that he's got floating around in his personal code-of-conduct. There will often be some conflicts between what he wants to do and what he thinks is allowed! I, myself am guilty of treating some of the women in my life with kid gloves. I was raised strictly with a strong emphasis on traditional gentlemanly conduct, a code which I believe in on principle anyway. Because of that, I have a hard time breaking away from that tradition. People today don't expect that, and some folks can't understand it at all. It's caused more than a few goofs over the years, but 100% of them could have been avoided with just a few words from the other party. A former girlfriend couldn't understand why I wasn't trying to have sex with her... If she'd asked I'd have explained, and if she insisted I would have gladly done the deed, but she kept her mouth shut until years after we broke up. So please, just communicate clearly with him. Boys don't read minds sweetheart.

Make him play as white ;-) (A chess reference, in case you don't get it)

TALK to him!
Tell him directly that you like it when he dominates! He may feel a lil embaressed at first. But, this should solve your problem :P