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How do you date a women who has 3 children? Answered

I am in the earlly stages of dating this girl ive known since my freshman year in high school. This was in 200-2004. She went through a heartbreaking divorce and everything is now finalized. I know she wants to start out slow which I have no problem with, but now that that the choldren are on summerbrake she will be with them more so how do I get closer to her letting her I know that I want to be apart of her life.



6 years ago

Stick with the text.

She will be ambivalent until you get a real girl friend ( which you should )
Then watch out...

I would protect self with 3 vid monitors in entry, hall and main room on a 50HR record over system....


She txted me Friday saying she just wanted to be friends and that she was scared to loose a good friend if we ever got into arelationship. Then she comes over that night till about 11 pm and she was snuggling with me. So Im in WTF mode I cant read her. SO at the end of the night I confronted her about what she wants and is looking for. She couldnt say a word. So honestly I just dont know what to do.

The truth will set you free.
Say something that is right, true and you to this woman.


I think you need the first part of that quote for it to make real sense. It says "you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free". Knowing the truth about things frees people from superstitions and rumors and other such related things and frees them from ignorance and the consequences that it can bring, including making bad decisions based on misinformation.

Yes, well put.*


*I arrived at that independently, I didn't know it was from John.

I know for a fact that she wants to find if there is something between us before introducing me to her kids, however I already met her youngest which is two years of age, but her answer to that was she just woke up so she didn't realize what was going on. She wont anyway because of how young she is.

Just talk to her and see how she wants things to go. Just remember her kids will always come first. If she wants them to get to know you then you should also make them a priority.


6 years ago

First and foremost, always remember that it is a package deal. If you ever put her in a position to have to decide between you and her kids it will be her kids. She already made that decision once.
There is a huge amount of information out there on blended families. Some of the advise is not that great, much of it is very valuable. You have to do your homework, and keep in mind that there is not a one size fits all recipe. Use what you can learn and apply it in a way that works for the individuals involved. Every child is different, you have to learn about them just as you would any other person. More importantly you need to be willing to accept the responsibility for being an influence in their lives. Hopefully a good influence. Children look for roll models and like it or not you likely will end up being one.


I just finalized my divorce...yesterday...thank goodness there were no kids involved.

@EffinCrazy, you are in a somewhat unique scenario where you have to show 100% devotion to your new partner, without ever showing a lack of attention for her kids. As you know there isn't 300% of you to go around so its a very delicate balance. If she is ANYTHING like my situation, she is not ready for a full on relationship.


The other point to consider is that she may not want you involved with her kids (especially if they are really young). As a single parent myself, I can say that I didn't want to expose my son to any relationships until I knew that there was some permanency. It is much less confusing for the child, but as Vyger already stated, there isn't a one size fits all approach. Your best bet is to take things slow and allow her to dictate what she finds acceptable and not. When and if the relationship escalates to something more serious, you and her can discuss the matter.