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How do you stay quiet so people pay more attention to you? Answered

I'm moving next August and I don't have any friends because I'm too quiet and I can't be louder, end of. I've tried for years. So how can I be quiet so people actually see without thinking that I'm just some loser to be ignored ads though I don't exist?


Does everyone find you quiet? Including your family? Has this been going on your entire life? If so, then you should think about discussing this with a doctor to ensure there is nothing wrong with your vocal chords. You may need to see a specialist or could benefit from speech therapy. Unless you have something wrong with your vocal chords, I'm guessing you are just very shy, and that's okay... many people are. If that's the case, then consider your body language. Are you turning away from people. Do you smile and make eye-contact? If your non-verbal cues are telling people you don't want to communicate, then they may respond by ignoring you.

As suggested, there are many activities that you could get involved with to boost your confidence and learn new things. A drama class, singing lessons, reading to children, visit with people at an old age home, volunteer at an animal shelter and talk to them, all could help you improve your communication skills. If that feels like too much, then start off slow with singing along to music, or reading aloud to yourself. Then when you feel ready, make a goal to speak to at least one person at school and simply say "hello". You may be surprised at how far you can get.

Oddly for a teacher I have a naturally soft voice. My better half is constantly complaining I don't speak up .

This was never an issue as a teacher though - Students soon learned I can raise it if I need to - I just don't normally find the need to be loud.

Much is about confidence.

I agree. I had a teacher like that, and although she wasn't very loud normally, she exuded all the "looks" and body language that commanded respect. I don't think anyone ever questioned her confidence (and likely don't for you either). :-)

Go to places where people do things you enjoy so you can join in - Youth clubs, Gyms, Sports clubs,

Even if you have to generate an interest you never know where this might lead.

I learned to sail using this advice - I joined a sailing club even though I had never sailed - Had a great time and made lots of friends without ever being very good at it.


Since you're asking this on a Maker site, why not find out if there is a hackspace or TechShop or similar in the area you are moving to?