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I think I may be a Scientologist Answered

My library regularly has a cart of books and audio cassettes for sale...hard covers for a dollar, soft covers for $0.50, etc. When I was there today, I noticed three brand new (still shrink wrapped) volumes of pure Scientology propaganda. I obviously shelled over the three dollars. Nobody really knows anything about them, maybe these books slipped through their hands by accident, and by possessing them, I'm a member of the church? Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you, one thousand nine hundred and fifty two pages of genuine L. Ron Hubbard literature:



8 years ago

 Scientology, to me, seems to be based off of The Heavens Gate Society, and we all know what they did. But their religions seem almost exactly, and eerily the same. Check the facts out, and talk to me later.     

How about you draw the comparisons in clear terms, and remember that Scientologists have been known to "get their lawyers-out".


... wait L. Ron Hubbard the novelist?

Haven't really gotten to read the books yet. But they haven't killed me yet, either, so I guess that's good.

I don't think they kill you, they just make you....umm....."interesting."

I read his Dianetics book.....sounded like modern-day voo-doo emphasis on the doo to me :-)

Yes. The story (probably apocryphal) is that he created Scientology essentially as a bar bet. Hubbard said that he could invent a viable religion for an SF story, and John W. Campbell told him he couldn't. So he did. I am not sure I believe it, but it does make a really great creation myth :-) The official history is that Hubbard's early work with Dianetics "cured Campbell's sinusitis," and Campbell became an enthusiastic convert.

well, now Hubbard is rollin' in dough! since it costs $300 for someone to explain all the Scientology stuff to you

They have a special "meter" to check how spiritually pure you are. Their operation is supposed to be secret, but I saw one go on ebay a few days ago - it sold for well over 200GBP. They are supposed to see if you are somehow polluted by sin, but all it really is is a dressed-up Wheatstone bridge that measures the resistance of your skin.

when i was in LA, i saw a little table with scientology books, and that meter, some guy was having his scientology "tested"

seriously?!?!?!?! hmm.... perhaps we should consider founding instructology... >=D

He died a while back. It happened to be at a remarkably convenient time for tax purposes. But that's OK - they periodically "discover" more of his writings that were tucked away.

Screw the Scientologists, you should join us Neo Flying Spaegans

Neo? There's a new FSM? I never knew! I'm not a very religious person. :(

Sorta, it's my own dubbing for my mix of FSM and neo paganism.

Scientologists are pretty well off. I thought about joining just so i could get some movie deals.

Scientology huh. Sounds like a cool religion... Apparently its really bad, never really gave it much thought though. Yeah useless comments


9 years ago

Hahhahahaha. What a crock. Can I call you Tom Cruise?

Stan Marsh didn't read the books (nor did he have them in his possession), he was chosen to write a new one

But, as the reincarnation of LRH, don't you think he'd get a complementary set just for playing?

maybe, but a 4th* grader (citation needed) wouldn't want to read a 1,900 page book about some religion he never heard of

Amazing. Did you know Scientology centers are now printing their works to look like Christian fiction and mailing them to churches? We had several churches bring us the books, wrapped, in the shipping boxes to sell at the store. Those tricksy hobbits! Also - has anyone seen the "documentary" Hubbard put together to tell everyone about scientology? It nearly broke my brain. new age circular logic, ahoy!!!

You wouldn't happen to be able to supply a link to watch that documentary would you? Or at the very least the name of it?

They're all different thicknesses - whichever set of shelving you prop up with them will be wonky!

Haha, awesome find.