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I'm a guy and other guys in my class (high school) keep grabbing my bottom, What do I do? Answered

There's these one or two kids in my class that keep grabbing my bottom, What do I do. Who should I tell? It's getting really arkward. Are they doing it because I don't have many good friends and I'm a bit geekey?



7 years ago

I'm in ROTC, and like you, don't have many friends and sorta geeky. I've had similar problems in the bathroom. No matter what anyone tells you, what they are doing is a form of sexual harassment. If the situation gets out of hand, tell them to STOP. If they continue, let a teacher or the SRO (if you have one) know immediately that some punk is touching you inappropriately.


8 years ago

tell you're very sorry because you know you're a$$ is completely irresistible but they're making you feeling a little boxed in with the amount of attention you're getting from them. then tell them you're gonna sue for sexual harassment. If they don't stop then tell the guidance councilor or principal. Or you can go old skool and punch them in the face :oP

I probably should have posted this under my username, but it is a bit more anonomous this way... Lol, I might go old school if nothing happens, lets see what a broken nose feels like for them...

The winner of the fight gets in trouble, regardless of who started it. Its stupid but its true. Don't get into a fight.

well you could ether let him down nicely or you could crush his dreams and shout at him

As with most kinds of harassment, they're doing it because it gets a rise out of you. I agree with the general suggestion to respond with a puzzled "What's with this strange attraction you have to guys' asses?" or some equivalent, spoken just loudly enough that other folks overhear it -- which in most cases will embarrass them more then they've annoyed you. That may be enough to stop it -- or they may just try something else. If the problem continues, a firm "Enough" and asking authority to get involved, is entirely appropriate. The only folks who object to "squealers" are those who are doing something that _should_ be getting them in trouble. (Yeah, I've been there. Had to threaten to swat one guy with a chair -- in the middle of a class -- before he realized that I wasn't willing to play his game, but his friends were a bit better about taking the hint.)

Say "I'm sorry, I'm not that into you." If they bother you again, tell them clearly that it is harassment and it has to stop. If they repeat, bring the issue up with an authority at your school, and if that doesn't work bring it up with the police outside of school.


8 years ago

For them, it's about dominance and control, and their pathetic bid(s) to bolster their own weak self-esteem and their standing amongst their peers.

Maybe they resent the fact that you are smarter than they are. You are, aren't you? ;-) No, don't tell them that, it'll only make it worse.

Here are a few ideas:

- Do what the others said and tell them no, in front of witnesses who are not their sympathizers.

- Tell your favorite teacher, you know, the geeky one. He probably teaches chemistry.

- See if you can get a video of them grabbing you, and their reactions afterwards. This will give you ammunition when it's time to convince the school administrators to read them the Riot Act, (and punish them.)

- My favorite: Take a page out of "Revenge of the Nerds", "Home Alone" or something like that, and use your geek skills to make it -very- unpleasant, and/or humiliating for them to touch you or make fun of you in any way.

- Put something on your back pocket that will stain their hands (good for identifying the perpetrators), make them smell bad, get a sharp jolt of electricity or make them look bad in the eyes of their friends (and especially the girls).

Hm, I'm really liking the shocker one. Conductive fabric, insulated on the butt side, a small battery pack with the proper circuitry (I'm sure the e-geeks here can help you with it) cleverly hidden in your jacket pocket or front pocket, and a hidden wire going to the conductive zapper pads in back. "Holy &%$!!", they'll say. Make that shock unpleasant enough to make them think twice about ever grabbing you again. Of course, you'll have to test in on yourself to make sure it's safe. Do no harm, except to their ill intentions!

Then make an instructable on how to make an anti-butt grabber.
(Eric, how about a contest!?!)

- Get your friends to take photos of them in the act, then make wanted posters of them. Accuse them of being gay, unless your school is hyper-sensitive about that kind of stuff. You don't want to be accused of hate crimes. Remember, the average school principle, at least when I was in school years ago, is a self-involved and incompetent dolt. Learn as much as you can about them, you will meet their comrades later in the corporate world, should you be so unfortunate to work in it.

- Take a martial arts class, like Judo or Aikido, and throw the &%$#@s on their keesters. I had a wood shop teacher in high school who got harassed during his apprenticeship. (the traditional kind, in Germany, where the new guy does all of the crap work.)

He got fed up and took Judo classes for months. Then one day, he threw the bully into the scrap bin! Another guy got his beard painted with fish glue, which has to be cooked to even be liquid. That guy's beard was probably a -lot- shorter the next day!

In summary, notify the authorities; then take action on your own. The point is to get them to stop, get them into trouble, or at least humiliated, without getting into trouble yourself, and gain some cool points while you are at it. Beat the bullies at their own game, on your own terms. With cunning, nuance and methods that will earn the respect of the school officials and your peers. Wouldn't it be great to be the center of a great story that people will still be telling twenty years from now?

See what you can do to boost your own confidence. Bullies have a very keen sense for finding weaknesses they can exploit (so they can avoid their own.) Don't allow yourself to play the victim, or be seen as one.

- Get stronger physically. I knew a geeky guy in high school who was well-liked, but not very confident. One Summer, he went to the weight training at school almost every day. When school started, he was a new man. His self-confidence grew with his muscles, and his true self was more evident.

- More importantly, get stronger emotionally. You'll need support with this, from parents, counselors, a workshop for kids, or simply something you can learn and do that will make you feel more capable. It does not really matter what you do, only that you find something challenging that will boost your self-confidence (not to the point of arrogance though!).

Zac Sunderland just turned 17, a few weeks before he sailed around the world by himself. He's not a great speech giver, but he did have the wisdom to realize that "people don't expect kids to do much at my age." He's clearly done a lot of growing up in the past year.

- Improve your social skills, which will improve on their own at least a little with improved self-confidence.
- Don't dress like a dork. Seriously. Brown plaids are forbidden. So are black, Battlestar Galactica t-shirts and anything else that brands you as a geek. Save that stuff for the weekends, or when you're older. I wouldn't carry a Hello Kitty backpack either. ;)
- Get a decent haircut if you don't have one already. You'll look better, and feel better about the way you look.

And finally, remember that there is a new breed of geeks who are cool. It's not like the bad old days when those who knew about electronics and chemistry, and liked to fool around with them in their free time were looked down upon. Being a geek can be very lucrative as well. You you need only look at recent tech history to see that. There may even be a geek or two hanging around the Instructables web site. ;-)

I'm looking forward to hearing about what you do, and the results you get. Let us know!

I probably should have posted this under my username, but it is a bit more anonomous this way... Yeah, I am smarter than them. I think I will tell the homeroom coordinator. (my chemistry teacher is female, HA!). I'll tell you more later...

BTW, I would try the conductive fabric thing, but it will be hard to find dark green stuff (we have a uniform)

you need to address the issue, or get help to address it.

Start with a verbal warning when it happens, take it seriously. (make a note of time/location/circumstances).
The next time it happens bring some attention to the situation, alert a nearby teacher, your homeroom instructor, the Guidance Councillor, or the Principal. (make more notes about time/location/circumstances)
All faculty are there to help you. Combine that with your documented cases and you have yourself some real grounds to have this stop.

By documenting the case and including a verbal warning you've exhausted your avenues to making it stop (barring violence).
They need to understand that it's not ok with you. Sometime teenagers (read: teenage boys) do not understand boundaries and/or other people's feelings and need to have guidance established for them.

I probably should have posted this under my username, but it is a bit more anonomous this way... Thanks, I will give them a warning then tell our homeroom coordinator.