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Is There Something Wrong With My Tree? Answered

I just checked the water level of my tree. When I pulled my hand out, it was covered in tiny white and black squirming bugs (about the size of a grain of sand). Is that, well, natural for a Turkish Fir tree.


>doh< We're talking about decorative trees, aren't we? Here's me thinking you're using some sort of hydroponics set-up, but you're just watering a corpse, aren't you? Chuck some oil on the water, suffocate the blighters.

I was going to say that! I get a cookie, right!?

Don't start the "Lord Ragoflago" thing again....

no, not really. sorry, but who is lil mis ragoflago?

It was the name of z'me's cookie from a previous thread.

We are the representatives of the Instructablobian Liberation Front - fly this thread to the Burning Man festival immediately or we will post this block-triggered K'nex rifle.

Oh, everyone's supposed to be against the block trigger :P I was just against the posting of the rifle :P

(Insert picture of Moe (from Simpsons) pointing a shotgun, which for some reason I cannot find)

All right, everyone leave, and give me your pants too!


Hmm... I missed a lot...

and lil' miss lord ragoflago is Mrs. Ratfink ;-)

zachninme says: Thank you, I shall cherish it always. I will also call it Carl. Or maybe Lord Ragoflago if its a girl cookie. So Lord Ragoflago is the cookie, and lil miss lord ragoflago is Jessy?

Hmm. Guess you're right... Ah, I knew it! I didn't make up the "lil miss" part, that was you, influenced by the lolcat. I made up "Lord Ragoflago" before the lolcat ;-)

You lost me so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt :P

nnnnnnnnnnnoooooooooooooo!!!!!!! not the block trigger!!!!! anthing but that!!!!!

Hey! This is chocolate chip! You know that those dekagrammed-nuggets of doom have tracking devices! The government will never catch me alive!?! WHEE!!
*puts on tin foil hat*

Check your foil. Has it got that criss-cross pattern in it?

That's an antenna network, manufactured in the foil specifically to track those people who know the secret of the >mumph<

Just don't go near a cat or a lemon with your hat on. Or for that matter don't put a lemon and a cat in your hat.

My guess is that the tree is dead, and rotting, thus the infestation. You can get a commercial bug cleaner, or soap and water. (bugs dont like the taste)

its tree lice. you should take a flamethrower to it. i have no idea...

I feel so bad for those trees with lice..it must itch like a bit of powdered fiberglass poured down your drawers between third and fourth period in the locker rooms while trying to search for your deodorant under the pile of clothes that need to be washed this weekend.

a flame thrower ? (sigh, you knew this might be coming, didn't you ?) That would then make "flied lice" (a unanimous groan issues from the crowd).

Yeah, I know. I try, but I am limited to my time on the interwebs. Dang those parentals!

I too am limited, but my restriction is call "wife" LOL

At 13:24:07 december first, the gang of terrorists known as the "Army of the 14 Monkeys" injected 27 trees in the united states with a malicious self-manifesting parisite. Its fist stage of evolution is in the form of small black and white bugs, the black ones being male and the white the females. The females require hemoglobin for thier eggs to hach beneath the flash of an animal properly, so the white bugs will burrow into your viens and plant thier spawn inside the cell walls. With a sufficient amount of blood, the bugs will hatch an our after they are "planted." My advice to you is to stay as far away form your tree as possible! Block the room off and call the police. Take your arm to the nearest clinic to be treated immediatley! you must not waste any time! There are only 2 more undiscovered trees left! Sorry, couln't resist. Perhaps they are a type of aphid. According to my research, that would be the best fit.

O.k. That's it, I'm calling Jack Bauer! Or, if it is really that bad, McClane.

Ha!, glad you liked that! Well, good luck with your tree!