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My idiotic dad doesn't think my grades are good or at least above average. What do you think? Answered

So yeah, I got expelled from school on the last week, but the school decided to be nice and give me my report card. I personally think I did OK, some of my friends and teachers even praised me for it, but my perfectionist father lashed his anger at me to no end. Check these out:

(Note: The passing is 2 out of 6, my school's standards aren't really that high)
English: 5 out of 6
Math: 4 out of 6
Science: 4.5 out of 6
Indonesian: 6 out of 6
Physical Education: 6 out of 6
Technology: 5 out of 6
Social Studies: 4.5 out of 6

So yeah, I know right, WTF. I even got an award for 6th best 7th grader overall (there are 34 7th graders in my school) on the award ceremony the week before I got expelled.

As I said before, my friends and teachers praised me for this, but my dad insists that its very average.

I tried telling my dad that this is actually pretty good and I'm one of the best off and that more than 5 kids went to summer school because they failed more than two subjects. But he wouldn't listen and used that stupid don't compare yourself to them excuse to screw out my arguments.

So yeah, tell me what you think & any advice on how to lower my dad's perfectionist standards would be greatly appreciated.

Discussions

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Gorfram

9 years ago

Those scores average out to 5 out of 6, which in US grading systems would correspond to a 3.33 out of 4 Grade Point Average, or a B+ average. Sixth in a class of 34 would put you in the top 18% of your class, or in the 82nd percentile.

So, yeah, pretty good. Not stellar, but there have been times I would have given my eyeteeth for a solid B+ average.

Except for two things:

  • You said that your school's standards are pretty low, and your father is proably taking that into account. He may figure that a '5' at your school is more equivalent to a '4' anywhere else, and is therefore not so much to be proud of.
  • You got expelled. There is no measuring the depth and breadth and height that your father's anger over that can reach. He's probably already yelled at you about the explusion itself until he has nothing new to say; but all that anger is still there waiting to be (re-)expressed. And then your report card happens along... Hey, he'd probably yell at you over a hangnail at this point. (I know that's probably how I'd be if you were my kid.)

I suspect that your dad has perfectionist standards for you because he believes in his soul that you can meet them. That you could be President of the Universe, or a world-class fighter pilot and Intergalactic Superhero.
He may have a hard time accepting that you're just a pretty darned good kid, who is doing the best he can and really not coming off all that badly - try to break it to him gently.
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CamisadoGorfram

Reply 9 years ago

Thank you for your excellent view and opinion. The advice is also greatly appreciated, but there are some things I would like to point out:

  • While my school's standards are pretty low, its an elite school so getting even a two is kinda difficult. Getting a 5 would probably be the equivalent of getting a more-than-perfect grade in public schools.
  • I got expelled, yes, but my dad is absolutely not mad about that at all. I got expelled for two reasons, one I will not discuss because it's not appropriate for a family site, and the other one is because I assaulted a really racist white kid using Tonfas, which are basically martial arts Nightsticks on Kobudo class and my father has no problem whatsoever with it, heck he actually said I was doing the right thing for sticking up to myself.

But there's a possibility he's mad because of the first reason I got expelled. While he never said he was mad, he never voiced his opinion on the subject and always dodged it when I brought it up. What do you think?
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KitemanCamisado

Reply 9 years ago

What do you think?

It's kind of hard to voice an opinion regarding something you won't even mention circumspectly, but I would class the behaviour you describe as embarrassment - whatever you did may be classed somehow as "shameful", and that makes it very hard for your father to talk about.

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CamisadoKiteman

Reply 9 years ago

Well, Okay.... guess it's okay to be somewhat vague about it. So this kid, he framed me for having ---- videos in my iPod. He also framed me for ------------ in the school toilet. I showed the teachers my iPod, but they were convinced that I simply deleted the videos. Oh, and this kid and some of his friends had a little bad history with me, so they all said that I was ------------ and well, of course the teacher would believe the bigger group.

None of the things I mentioned above was true, BTW. I am a perv, yes, I do kinda have a reputation here on I'bles for being a perv, and I do ---------- and watch ----, but I wouldn't dare to do it at school. To tell you the truth, I think my teachers are screwed up in the head, none of the people who were against me have credible evidences - they just believe the bigger group

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KitemanCamisado

Reply 9 years ago

Without hearing all the story, I'd have to say that was a very dubious basis for a permanent expulsion.

Personally (I am a head of year in a school), I would have asked the accusers for evidence, and (if I suspected the files had simply been deleted) I would have asked the school's IT department to check the device's file history.

Without hard evidence, even if the witnesses were credible, the most I could justify would be a meeting with your parents regarding your possible infraction, and maybe a day or two's exclusion.

Speaking as a parent, if my son had been expelled withour hard evidence, particularly for a character-staining accusation such as this, then I would now be speaking to my lawyer.

(As for "being a perv", you're a 14 year old boy! I'd consider it odd if you weren't a little obsessed with the seamier side of life - the average age for first exposure to hard-core pornography is now 11 years old.)

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CamisadoKiteman

Reply 9 years ago

Thanks for your great point of view, Kiteman. All that you said above is true, it's just that my school teachers are money craving b@stards that just want big fat paychecks, heck all teachers in Indonesia is like that - half arsed and screwed up in the head. The depression might be caused due to Indonesian teachers being seriously underpaid (public school teachers get like 10, maybe 20, 30 tops bucks a month). But yeah, I find it annoying how the teachers don't really give a dang about the main subject of their jobs themselves.

Talking to your lawyer? Dang..... But that just might work. I'm gonna talk to my parents about it tonight.

(As for "being a perv", you're a 14 year old boy! I'd consider it odd if you weren't a little obsessed with the seamier side of life - the average age for first exposure to hard-core pornography is now 11 years old.)

Exactly. But that's not really the problem here - the kids accused me for mastur.... OK, I think that's enough of a clue - at the school toilet and having pr0n on my iPod. Yes, as I said above, I do watch pr0n and ----------, but I would not be so stupid and shameful as to do it at school. No sir.

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DJ RadioCamisado

Reply 9 years ago

Indonesia pwns and sucks at the same time based on your description. lol.

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DJ RadioCamisado

Reply 9 years ago

BTW, I dont see why the school would care about what you have on your ipod. Its your own private personal device. Over here they dont care because ipods are banned in the first place.

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CamisadoDJ Radio

Reply 9 years ago

Eh well, my school's rules blows.

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hvrock13Kiteman

Reply 9 years ago

In response to your suggestion that the school's IT department check his iPod.. That wouldn't mean much, cause he could have simply restored the iPod, erasing all traces of data off of it. And I doubt they'd want to invest that much time and effort into learning how to explore the devices file system, which is much different than a standard computer.

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CamisadoRock Soldier

Reply 9 years ago

Well, you're not exactly obliged to check this thread every time it gets a new post.

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Rock SoldierCamisado

Reply 9 years ago

Believe me, if I knew what you were going to type, I wouldn't.

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TwistedParadoxCamisado

Reply 9 years ago

My friend went crazy and started chucking tables around once

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CamisadoTwistedParadox

Reply 9 years ago

That has nothing to do with the subject at hand, don't spam the thread.

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skunkbait

9 years ago

Yeah, from what I know of you, you're a pervy, but very bright kid. Maybe your dad was having a bad day or something. The grades are goodish. A lot of parents are perfectionists, and feel like they are letting their kids down if they don't "make them" do better. If you were my kid, I'd yell at you about your grades, but I wouldn't really mean it. Then I'd tell you that the most important thing is to be a genuinely good person, and I would mean that.

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Camisadoskunkbait

Reply 9 years ago

Thanks, particularly for the very bright kid remark. Somewhere in my head I probably knew that my dad didn't mean that anyway. He's not a bad dad, heck he's the greatest one I've ever met (not only because of the parental love thing, but his other qualities too), and he is very and I mean very lax when it doesn't come to education. I just don't want him to be so hard on me on that one particular subject - education. I mean, what more could a dad want from a 13 and 10 month year old? I speak four languages, I do above average at subjects that aren't exactly my specialty, AND I FRIGGIN SKIPPED A GRADE GOSH DARN IT!..... Sorry, I just spazzed out, but yeah, you get my point.

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mg0930mgCamisado

Reply 9 years ago

14 in 7th grade? and you skipped a grade. Are america and indonesia's grades the same you have 12 then college if wanted?

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Rock Soldiermg0930mg

Reply 9 years ago

14 in 7th grade? and you skipped a grade.
LOL! I'm sorry, but that that literally made me laugh.

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Camisadomg0930mg

Reply 9 years ago

I'm 14 this year, and I just graduated 7th grade so I'm technically an 8th grader. And I did skip a grade, DJ is one year younger than me and he just graduated 6th grade (I think) so yeah. I dunno how the whole system goes in the States. And as for your second statement - What? I'm sorry, I don'y understand.

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DJ RadioCamisado

Reply 9 years ago

No, I graduated 7th grade. Im in 8th now.

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mg0930mgCamisado

Reply 9 years ago

Weird, I'm 13 going into 9th grade. Haven't skipped any grades, didn't start early or anything. By my secon statement , I was asking how many grades do you have as in levels. We have kindergarten-senior or k-12. Do you have the same?

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Camisadomg0930mg

Reply 9 years ago

Oh, I guess it worked differently there, but that's cool... OH! No, us Indonesians have three kinds of Kindergartens to pass. I guess that clear things up.

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mg0930mgCamisado

Reply 9 years ago

so you have three kindergartens then first until twelfth.

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CamisadoCamisado

Reply 9 years ago

Oops, sorry, DJ is my age, I think....

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lemonie

9 years ago

Hi man, this is completely of topic but I'm interested. I read an article about ''Hantu pocong'' in Malaysia, as it's in your general geographic location I wondered what you might know about it?
(Corpses escaping from the grave or just trash?)

L

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Camisadolemonie

Reply 9 years ago

Hantu Pocong? Of course I know stuff about it! Every Indonesian does. Okay, so Pocong is a ghost that can be summoned through a special ritual involving a voodoo doll. It's appearance is that of a 30-something man or women (usually man, but there are girl Pocongs) tied up in a long blanket. The blanket covers everything except for the Pocong's face. Instead of walking, it hops. Hope this is useful!

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lemonieCamisado

Reply 9 years ago

Ah, the hopping... something similar in China I think (with the hopping). Thanks. L

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lemonie

9 years ago

It's hard to have an opinion on the other reason you were expelled (could you be vague about it?).
Has you father seen report cards before, or is this the first one?
And where are you going to be schooled now?

L

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Camisadolemonie

Reply 9 years ago

Well, Okay.... guess it's okay to be somewhat vague about it. So this kid, he framed me for having ---- videos in my iPod. He also framed me for ------------ in the school toilet. I showed the teachers my iPod, but they were convinced that I simply deleted the videos. Oh, and this kid and some of his friends had a little bad history with me, so they all said that I was ------------ and well, of course the teacher would believe the bigger group.

None of the things I mentioned above was true, BTW. I am a perv, yes, I do kinda have a reputation here on I'bles for being a perv, and I do ---------- and watch ----, but I wouldn't dare to do it at school. To tell you the truth, I think my teachers are screwed up in the head, none of the people who were against me have credible evidences - they just believe the bigger group

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WeissensteinburgCamisado

Reply 9 years ago

What kind of a school is it? If it's public, i'm sure you could appeal it.

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CamisadoWeissensteinburg

Reply 9 years ago

Private school. In Indonesia, private schools are so cheap that almost every middle-class families enroll their kids there.

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lemonieCamisado

Reply 9 years ago

Mmm, I was thinking there might be an element of "you should have been spending more time studying and less time (doing whatever)" behind your dad's annoyance. He could be condemning non-learning activity (true or otherwise) by assuming it's dropped your grades a bit. Where school now? L

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Camisadolemonie

Reply 9 years ago

Nah. My dad knows I study as much as I do something else. And I know he doesn't condemn non-learning activity my only non-learning activities are surfing the net, collecting weapons, playing video games and martial arts, all that he truly support (yes, even the video games part). Well, I don't think it would be any use telling you my new school 'cause I live in Indonesia and you know that, but I'm going back to my old school, High/Scope Junior High (I'm a 9th grader btw).

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lemonieCamisado

Reply 9 years ago

OK, so it turned out alright-enough in the end?

Tip for vague in case you should feel the need at some point in the future: I would have said "I was accused of bringing inappropriate / prohibited media into school on my iPod" and "I was accused of inappropriate / prohibited activity on school premises". You could add the word "falsely" before "accused" also. These give enough information while being very broad.

L

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Camisadolemonie

Reply 9 years ago

Yeah, it turned alright enough, I guess. Certainly not the best that could happen, but it's certainly not the worst that could happen either.

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lemonieCamisado

Reply 9 years ago

I'm interested: how have you got strikethrough on your username? L

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lemonieLithium Rain

Reply 9 years ago

Oh he really is banned - how long does that last? (School then I'bles eh...)

L

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DJ RadioLithium Rain

Reply 9 years ago

Are you ever gonna get those screenshots that Izangi wants?

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DJ RadioLithium Rain

Reply 9 years ago

Izangi claims hes been framed. I decided to step in before the argument escalated, and said that if you got proof that he actually said anything offensive, he would just shut up and take his ban.