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SKUNKPUNK turns 15! Answered

Ok, This is a bit of a crisis. My oldest son, Skunkpunk, turns 15 today! I turned 37 last week. I'm feeling OLD. I only realized that I was no longer a teenager a couple of years ago, and now I'm having to deal with being a parent of a teen. For me, 15 was a big year. Learning to drive, my first serious girlfriend, etc. I'm not ready to deal with Skunkpunk's teenage-roller-coaster. So anyway, If anyone has any advice for us we could use it. I need advice on how to parent a teen, and he needs advice on how to survive the teen years.


Being a teenager is not fun. (some serious info here!) From my perspective, having my redneck step father raise me, I have a couple of things you might want to avoid: 1. Don't talk about your "past experiences" with girls. Your first kiss, etc. It gets awkward the moment you say the word puberty. It gets completely unbearable when you mention that time with the funnelcake. 2. My stepdad made me go outside and shoot birds, and wouldn't let me in until I shot something. I now hate going outside, and won't leave my room. Done killed myself the state bird. Basically, don't force him to do things he doesn't want to, otherwise, he won't ever try it. Just because you played football (example), doesn't mean he has to. 3. Don't listen to me.

Yeah, I fully agree with #2. My kids need to be their own persons. But #1 is so hard! I just feel compelled to warn them (without being graphic!)about the evils of women, and the foolish things guys do while in pursuit of them! :-)

Actually, I've gained a lot from hearing "cautionary tales" from my parents. My dad in particular. I'm not entirely sure he knew I was taking his bragging as advice on what does and doesn't work, but whatever... He stays away from advice about women, but when it comes to what to do and what not to do, telling a story can be more powerful than a lecture. Even better if you tell the applicable story before the kid screws up.

Hmm, oddly my mother was a source of many cautionary tales, things like sleeping on golf courses... It's weird how similar our teenage years aligned, right down to her not liking my girlfriends...

I still remember the "How I woke up directly in front of a freight train with a deer rifle in my hands in a small railroad outbuilding somehwere in this county" story... I imagine there'd be nothing quite like getting a golf ball to the face to make you wonder just what you were doing last night...

Pretty much... Except it was a lawnmower that woke me... Freight trains and deer rifles, sounds interesting...

I flipped a lawnmower backwards off a trailer.

I now feel the need to try this. I hereby request that somebody else keep the keys to my shed and keep me out of it. I don't want to break my mower...

I also got it sooo wedged on a ramp, that I had to use a shotgun to remove it!

Congrats. Fired at the mower or the ramp?

I had to shoot a hole in the ramp (wooden) to get the blade loose where it had bottomed out and gotten stuck.

Yeah, My folks did very little of that, but then again, I learned a lot, and have a post-doctorate degree from HKU. (Hard Knocks University)!

Hey, I think I was enrolled there for a little while!

Sometimes I think I built many of the newer buildings of that school LOL

Don't do it... Hell my parents were an epic failure in relationship, however everyone tried to make me in to a good boy who stayed away from the girls, instead I turned it to a worse then normal teenager for a long time on that score, then had the long term relationship from hell... But if you want to put him off for a short period of time just because you can try talking about birthmarks, then show him one, on your butt or some such, failing that get teeth on DVD, put's any man off for a week.

Oh, he loves girls alright. He knows how to impress them too. Hmmm. Birthmark you say? I'll try whatever I can. I don't want to be a grandfather before age 40!

send 'im to The Collab, but I'm guessing he's already spotted it. Make 'im memorize and repeat it daily.

If he doesn't learn it'll at least completely put him off.

Either one is adequate. Obviously I want my kids to be happy, marry freaky but devoutly Christian girls, and produce unusual and entertaining grandchildren. I just don't want that to happen for another 15 years!

You want them to marry freaky girls? That's a first...

Then you're in trouble on that score... I figured out girls and quickly got me a wee bit of a god complex... That film Teeth, will definitely work for a good while, put me off completely for week...

LOL, a week? That movie's enough to put anyone off for a lifetime.

Man I was so excited when I first googled for porn, the sight of hairy men's buts put me off I didn't try it again for months...

I was scared for life, to this day I prefer lesbian or erotica...

The internet is really great
For porn!
I've got a fast connection so I don't have to wait
For porn!
There's always a new site
For porn!
I browse day and night
For porn!

So grab your d*ck and double-click!

Porn, porn, pornnnnn!


Evils of women, Skunkbait?? I think that's just the evils of apples (or pomegranates, perhaps?)...

Hope you've got a flaming sword stashed in your workshop :-)

Oh, Adrian don't shun me. I'm just trying to prevent a decade of male piggishness. Once a boy returns to sanity (late 20's), girls are no longer evil.

So it's really us boys that are evil, not girls?

Well, "evil" might not be the right term..... IMO, The teen years tend to make boys stupid, and girls insane. At least that's the way it seemed "back in the day".

Your observations still hold true today, mostly.

Yeah, I should have put evils in parentheses. I don't think a flaming sword would even do the job against the hormonally-inspired insanity/infatuation of teenagers!

I am in kind of a "strike two" position, so rather then advising to avoid at all costs I rather would advise probable Danger, Danger Will Robinson! :-) i.e. advising caution....

Besides, it is clear from the text that she was coerced by her partner to eat that fruit ;-)

Is his name really Skunkpunk in real life?

Not really. I kinda wanted to name him "Sparkplug" but my wife was against it.

Yeah. And quite descriptive too, at least when we work on electrical systems.

Oh, I see. Too bad you failed to give him a name you wanted... :-)

Well, this is preaching to the prea ,besides having faith in humankind and not knowing what your own or anyone's destiny is, here's my 1.125 cents, maybe less nowadays...

You're a youngin compared to me. I am almost a decade older and now you're making me feel OLD. No one has written a complete ible on how to be a parent or parent and life does not come with an instruction book. I find words to live by and as I get older, I try to be true to myself and others and try to feel good at the end of the day having accomplished something. You cannot fear what tomorrow brings and relish that you nurtured a life into this world.

So, for some NachoMahma'isms:
Cats in the cradle

Teach your children well

Bless the beasts and children

The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind...

As a parent, you realize everything you do is for your kids and for them to have something better. And you can live a second childhood through them but do not push them too far as I know of rebellious teens where that plan backfired. Kids should be kids as long as they can because the adult world is pretty tough.

It's going to be a few more quick years before I have to deal with Caitlin in her teens but I have always told her "You let me worry about that, Green Beret."great John Wayne flick

That said, to Skunkpunk and even to Jr.:
As a teen, you may screw up once in a while. It is actually par for the course. You may screw up royally(no pun intended) and that is okay...as long as you own up to it and let your parents know what is going on. Your parents may yell, scream, take away your guns, but they are doing it for your own good. All you have to do is trust them with all your heart and every once in a while out of nowhere, give them a big old hug.

No one has written a complete ible on how to be a parent

I smell a collaboration opportunity.

Haha, so true. Maybe you can get it done in between PTO meetings and soccer practice?

No one could make an ible about how to be a parent. Unless they had no life and a few years.