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Things a plant would say... Answered

I'm working on something fun...  We'll leave it at that for now.

I need a nice, long list of things a plant would say to a human.  Humor and biology geekiness are welcome!  Patches to folks who come up with the most phrases or the best phrases.  Keep it PG though, ok?

Here are some examples:

"I think you should become a meatatarian"
"So when are you going to evolve and run on sunshine, like I do?"
"Gahhh!  Aphids!  Get 'em off!  Get 'em off!"
"I'm thirsty.  Water Me!"
"Audrey II is my hero."
"No worries, baby - I'm organic!"
"When you belch it's like a breath of fresh air."
"My pistol is useless against insects!"
"If you kill me, I think you should try a rock garden next."


Said the lettuce to the Gardener; don't bend over granny, those tators has got eyes.... The tomato said, lettuce catch up on all the gossip we've been missing during the dry spell.

The flower said: I'm a pistol packin mama

"Oi, caterpillar, no!"

"I sudddenly realized all these eyes were on me..." Mr. Potato

"I'm afraid...he's going to be a vegetable."

"I don't want to be treated like a mushroom, kept in the dark and you feed me..."

"We demand that this chemical warfare is seized against our great weed nation!"

"Don't tread on me", patriotic plants

"We all live in fear of the great roaring God that comes every 5 days and slices our heads off with it's great big rotating blades!" "I'm living on sunshine woohooooh, and don't it feel good? Yeah! Allright now..." I'm to tired to think of anything else right now but i'll get back to you ;)