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Wanna 3 month pro membership? CLOSED Answered

3 month membership, it's up for grabs. 

Give me a reason, come on! 

It needn't be honest, it needn't be logical, it needn't be fair but it better be funny... 

Also if anyone can nominate someone else deserving of one I might give another away.

*insert random photo from January challenge*

EDIT CLOSED

Discussions

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patriots8888

7 years ago

because i am chuck norris's twin

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dombeef

7 years ago

Because you are awesome !?!

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Lithium Rain

7 years ago

(This isn't for me, it's for another member)

Well.

Yesterday, I ran out of oatmeal cookies. You may not be aware of this, but oatmeal cookies are the seventh food group (yes, it's true). I went into cookie withdrawal almost immediately - cold sweats, the shakes, passing out. I devoured an entire jaw of raw oatmeal, but just couldn't get the same high off it. I found myself on the streets, offering excruciatingly correct grammar lessons to sympathetic passers-by in exchange for anything that remotely seemed like a cookie - muffin, pastry, donut. Sometimes, nobody would share their sugar - all I could get was trail mix and slightly soggy cheerios (that one was from a toddler, it broke my heart how sweet she was when she came up to me and handed me the little handful...) At my lowest, I'm ashamed to say, I even ate banana chips. I was a mess. I'm just lucky some incredibly kind and selfless people found me, took me home, cleaned me up, and let me crash at their place until I got back on my feet. It has taken me the better part of a year, but I'm finally on the road to recovery.

So in conclusion I've been through a severely trying experience that very nearly cost me my life, sanity, and pants, and having a 3 month pro membership would be a very real comfort in this cold, dark world.

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DJ Radio

7 years ago

I need a pro membership because otherwise I always accidentally click the ads, and I'm afraid if I do it too many times this site might get accused of click fraud.

(lol not really but I tried)

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unclex6

7 years ago

I LIKE MTNDEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OO YA

={) MAN WITH A MUSTACHE!!!!!!!!!!!

DID YOU SEE ALL CAPS!!!!

LIVING LIFE LOUD!!!!!!!!

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happyjo

7 years ago

Well, I come from and extremely poor family.If I am lucky once a day I will get a meal of 3 saltines and a small glass of prune juice. That is if I can escape the dirty strangling hands of my four siblings as they take advantage of me and my food. Did I also mention that when I lost a hand a while ago in a terrible accident involving a drunk man and chainsaw? I have to stop typing now because I am being pushed of the ratty chair for the library computer. I need the pro membership! I really do!

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Goodharthappyjo

Reply 7 years ago

...and, and it will help you figure out a cheap, home made method to trap the rats right? :-)

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happyjoGoodhart

Reply 7 years ago

Of course! then I can let them dry out and I will have my own rat jerky

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Goodharthappyjo

Reply 7 years ago

Don't forget the Tabasco sauce ! ;-)

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happyjoGoodhart

Reply 7 years ago

Yes! I did find a half-empty bottle of that at the library.

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The Ideanator

7 years ago

'Cause I'm incredibly awesome, that's why.

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caitlinsdadThe Ideanator

Reply 7 years ago

You may be incredibly awesome, but I am awesomer, haha. killerjackalope is the awesomest.

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The Ideanatorcaitlinsdad

Reply 7 years ago

That is an incredible work of fiction you've written there, dear sir. Well, the bit where you claim to be awesomer, the rest is the total truth.