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an Humorous note on Email Scams Answered

 Well I posted my motorbike on Craigslist, and I got this nice email from a chap in Canada:

Hello, I'm James John, I hail from Canada in Ottawa city, I came across your advert and am Highly Interested in purchasing you (motorcycle) which you offer for sale at craigslist.com. I Due to the fact that its been a long time have been searching for it, Please Kindly get back to me as soon as possible with the necessary answers to the Question in mind.
Are you the first owner?
The present condition?
Your final asking price?
Why Do You want to sell It? 

And I will also like you to send me Pictures to enable me to view what I intend to purchase and i will like you to know that my form of payment is through a Certified Check or USPS Money Order .. I await your urgent response so that we can Proceed further.


So uh, how many monkeys y'reckon the Great Scam Conspirists keep locked up to come up with these aye?


it would be hilarious if this guy was on instructables watching us talk about it

I don't see how these guys actually "Scam" you, they probably just fail at reading and want info.

wow kent i had a guy do the same thing with buying my grandpas car i put on craigslist and this guy who supposedly lives in new york called me the next day and asked about it so i gave him some of the cars details color year(ect) even though there were pics with the post come to find out he had a puerto  rican number and was a drug dealer and my gramps got 6000 bucks for turning him in (he was one of FBIs most wanted)

For what reason did your gramps grass on him to the FB?


i guess he was just fishy i knew that but the fbi was a little by chance i think

Most wanted, but foolishly gives his real name & phone number... criminals these days eh?


no no he gave a fake name but called from his own cell phone

Your grandparent got a call, thought it funny, called the FBI and said "I got a suspicious call from this number, you might want to check him out - he said he was interested in my car." The FBI check their details - go to Puerto Rico and pick the guy up?


no so here is what happened exactly guy calls us with a puerto rican phone number but said to meet him at his house in new york weird he asks for details which are listed on the selling page even more weird so my gramps calls the cops they call the FBI and we are all saved thanks to a 78 YEAR OLD MAN

Oh right - interesting story - "one to tell the grandchildren"!


 Hehe, says something about the intelligence of criminals ehh?

How do they even get on a most wanted list like that?

What do you find suspicious - "I Due to the fact that its been a long time have been searching for it" - general style?


 Yeah, it oozes of sameness with South African inheritance emails and such. I wonder how they come up with this stuff?

I'm looking after someone else's mailbox, he's subscribed to every damned newsletter and alert going.... But he was contacted by some US army guy needing help with some millions they found in, well you guess where?


US army, in the course of duty finds millions of $US in Nigeria? (No)


More like oil, but US army in Nigeria? Hmm, maybe the guy should have said that he escaped from a maximum-security facility with a bunch of other army guys (and the cash)...?


 Maybe the chaps from The Unit (tv show) where busting some diamond smugglers :D

Let's see...
  1. Canada is awfully far from Texas;
  2. The name is "Ottawa," not "Ottawa City", which one presumes a resident would know;
  3. Why (and how) would someone in Canada be buying a United States Postal Service money order?
The style, inappropriate capitalization and grammar, and so on, are just the general hallmarks of e-mail scams, not specific to this individual.

That's the sort of thing I was interested in. I should have added the word "most".

On a related note see this:
"Dear All. This is a very serious message that I hope you can pass on to as many people as you can. Last night at the big ASDA in Manchester a 3 year old girl went missing. Fortunately their policy when something like this happens is to lock the doors. The little girl was found in the toilets with 2 Romanian women. One shaving her head and the other dressing her in boys clothes. This come from an employee who was there last night. Please pass the message round to as many as you can and remain extra vigilant with your own children."

My source says:
"A spokeswoman said they had been circulating for around three years and denied there was any truth in the story."
"This is absolute nonsense"
"This urban myth has circulated for over 10 years and sometimes rears its head. It's as untrue today as it's ever been."

(some cretin at work got it on her childish-sounding "I am a thick-bint" mobile)


I would say that the source of that scam was somewhere in China.

It's the "tone" of the language - I've seen similar here that was openly Chinese, and received similar myself (such as oddly-worded emails purporting to be from ebay, or my bank.  Or a bank I have never heard of.  Oh, and the US government frequently offers me rebates on my income tax...).

I think there's just one poorly-qualified, over-worked individual translating all of these from Chinese, almost into English.

 OR a botched translator program?

So far i have only got the relative death = money ones
  1. My relative has died
  2. >link to news story about death<
  3. They give me money
  4. I want to move it
  5. You can haz some
  6. Give me your identity details.....

 Yeah, I got one of those, somebody died on a real airline crash, and they use it as "proof". Kinda sad...