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can anyone tell me how to to get rid of my anxiety around girls? Answered




8 years ago

You'll be alright sunshine!

As I've said on your next question....I'm the gal for you!!

You are being INTIMIDATED by the ladies.   Every guy has this problem to some extent when we are young.  GuardianFox says, "talk to them!"  I agree.  His answer is excellent... and i would add ... there is an INSTRUCTABLE for that problem.  It is one of my favorites... take a look at it: (not written by me),


I also suggest you read a book called "Winning Through Intimidation" by Robert J. Ringer.  Especially read chapter 13, "The Boy-Girl Theory."  This is not a book on GIRLS... it is a book on salesmanship... how to close the sale. but it is applicable to many things including selling YOURSELF.  When you are done with that homework, you will tell yourself you are a HERO... not a ZERO --- and don"t you ever forget it.

So it's not exactly generalized social phobia or social anxiety disorder, but the "treatment" would generally be the same as it would be with most phobias.  Here's a resource which gives the general gist of it and how to progress through your own self-monitored treatment.  It's all about the steady progression, maintaining your cool, and building upon successes.  You can pretty much map it out and create a list of goals and how to accomplish them such as you and a guy friend hanging out with a female friend as a first step.  If that goes well, then you can try hanging out with a female friend solo and so forth, but keep it chill and friendly like you're hanging out with a bud who might have slightly different interests than you.  Girls aren't aliens and aren't out to attack you.

If you avoid all situations involving girls to the point where it starts affecting your life, you should seek professional treatment to help coach you through these situations and the treatment.

Calm yourself, start by trying to not worry about the anxiety itself, because you'll just double your worrying...

Do you have any friends that are girls, is it all girls or only girls that you're potentially interested?

Look them directly in the eyes-
Say "Hi"
Compliment their- hair or sweater or book bag or i-pod or ... something!  (Girls thrive on compliments)
Keep moving- they are much easier to talk to when they approach you rather than the other way around.
In the end- if you don't have anything clever to say don't try to make small talk- just stick with compliments.

(Later in life you will discover this works with just about everyone- but for now just practice with girls)

Yes, I can tell you how.

Normally I get long winded with this type of question...  but today I'm not going to, because the answer is short:


That's it.  The more you start chatting with people, the easier it will get.  If you have to start small, try to strike up a conversation with friends of friends at parties or even just practice in the mirror.  

Best of luck!

Spend as much time around them as you can.  The more exposure (haha) you have around girls the more you will be confident around them.

i think every guy has this problem. i choose to view them as my best friend and learn wat they like and go by that then they will talk to u and u will become more comfortable. easier said then done but it works for me.