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girl trouble? Answered

this girl arranged a date with me then an hour before the date she canceled so we arranged another time to go out again she canceled this time the day before so we arranged another time and suprise suprise she cancels again so i tried talking to her askeing her whats up she didnt reply so i gave up now she has contacted me and said hello should i say hi back or just ignore her and give her a taste of her own medicine


Got girl problems? I feel bad for you, son. I got 99 problems but....

Seriously though, the other comments here are good advice. Figure out what you want. Be civil with her (actually, be civil with everyone - people skills are one thing that school doesn't teach and that everyone would benefit from) and if you don't like the way she treats you then you probably wouldn't like having her as a girlfriend. If she does something that you don't like or that hurts your feelings then you should tell her. You don't have to be weak about it either, just tell her that you really didn't care for the way she handled a situation. When it comes down to it, relationships are like anything else in life - figure out what you're pitying into it and what you're getting out of it, and if you're putting in significantly more than you're getting out, then it's probably not worth your time. This is called a cost-to-benefit analysis and you would be well served to consider most of life's problems from this perspective.

Basically, if something makes you happy and you're not completely ruining yourself to be happy doing it, then you're okay. Also, to confuse the issue, some things are worth killing yourself for, and they don't even make you that happy. Those are the types of things that you will stay up late into the night drinking trying to figure out, but you will have to figure them out for yourself. Nobody else can tell you what you should do to make yourself happy, even through everyone will try to. What they're telling you is what would make them happy if they were in your situation, but they're not, so they're really not in any sort of position to know anything, are they?

This all comes down to the following three words:

Follow. Your. Bliss.

Typo: "pitying" should be "putting", of course.

(Probably obvious in context, and gods know I've committed enough tupograhpliica erors in my time...)

I'm lucky to have only mane the one typo. I was typing this on my phone's soft keyboard using Swype, so it was just a speed error more than anything.

Hey! - be grateful that she calls you to cancel. If she really wanted to send you a message she'd have just stood you up. (by not showing up or not being there when you went to collect her). It is just possible that she is into you but has a lot going on in her life at the moment and there were genuine reasons for each of the cancellations.

(Possible, but unlikely)

Your title is stated wrong.

It should be "Girls Are Trouble!".

People are complicated. So are other animals, actually. So are machines.

"If it was easy, it wouldn't be worth doing."

Up to you. Do you want to continue trying to get to know her better or not?

If not, feel free to ignore her.

If you do, tell her that your feelings were hurt when she stood you up, and ask her point-blank whether you should stop asking because she won't mean it if she says yes.

If she says stop, stop.

If she says don't stop, feel free to tell her that she's running out of second chances and you *will* stop after the next time she stands you up. Then follow through on that, if necessary.

Friends treat friends like friends. If you're not being treated like a friend, you don't have a friend and you should spend time with someone else.

Having said that, it may just be that she's getting cold feet, worrying too much about whether the date might disappoint. If so, arranging something that is less "date-like" might be more comfortable for her -- go to a movie or dinner with a group of your friends rather than as a couple, for example -- until she gets more used to spending time with you.


7 years ago

You should ALWAYS be civil. Beyond that, I think you should ignore her.
Nobody needs to be involved with someone who plays the games she's playing.
YOU can take the part of being a mature person... civil, but not interested in buying into her games. This will also be noticed by other girls... and you'll look better in their eyes.

Look at what she is doing. Is she hanging out with other boys? Does she even want to talk to you about anything? You definately should say hi back. Girls do not like being treated badly, even if they have treated you badly. If she doesn't do anything soon. Give her a taste of her own medicene. Make sure you don't want to go out with any of her friends because she WILL spread that you can be mean.
Hope this helps,