Bacon Placemats

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Introduction: Bacon Placemats

Instructlobians like bacon. Bacon Soap, Bacon Image Tiles, Bacon and some other stuff sandwiches etc.

The next logical step is, naturally, bacon textiles. So get ready for an all body lube job. After all, cholesterol is fat, and fat is slippery. Lets lube those (heart) valves :)

Step 1: Ingredients and Tools

You will need

1 Package of sliced Bacon (at least 12 slices) -- any bacon will do, even blasphemous turkey bacon.
1 Baking Sheet
Butter
Foil
Paper towels
Plate

Hunger for Bacon

Step 2: Foil and Grease

Foil your baking sheet/pan -- then apply a little butter (this gets the cooking process going until some fat renders off the bacon).

Step 3: Weaving

Now is a good time to preheat your oven to 400oF

Weave using an over/under pattern making a 6X6 matrix. Make it as tight as possible with minimal overlap. If your bacon strips have a wider side -- flip between wide and thin as you weave. This ensures your mat is not lopsided. Remember that bacon shrinks when cooked; this pulls the weave even tighter strengthening the structure.

Step 4: Bake

Bake in your preheated oven for about 20 to 30 minutes (depending on how crispy you like your bacon). Be conscious of your bacon and pull it out when it's done. It should turn that dark bacon color we all know and love.

Step 5: De Oiling

No, that's not slang to "The oiling" -- remove your bacon from the oven. Then, using a spatula -- move to a paper towel covered plate. Then add some paper towels on top and gently press down to soak up more excess fats.

After a minute or so, change or flip your towels.


Now, if you want a stiffer mat. Allow the bacon to sit out for 10 minutes or so. You can then use your bacon as a roof for your hot dog log cabin.

You can also experiment with bacon shapes. Woven Bacon Bowls made with turkey bacon are indeed successful. And that was done in the microwave! If you want to experiment with shapes simple press your bacon mat onto the outside of a bowl or other mold while you let it stiffen. Then load it up with potatoes, toast, jam and eggs for your "tune-up breakfast."

Step 6: A Word About Bacon.....

Seriously, eating a whole bacon mat (1 package of bacon) on slices of toast is probably not a good idea.... Trust me, I know.

But it did look really cool on a toast hut using toasted bread joinery!

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127 Comments

how would you season the bacon?

this is probobly the most epic pumkin i have ever seen.... ever

this has got to be one of the coolest things from bacon i have ever seen! +1

two words: bacon basket

Aw, jeez. I accidentally got a bacon glove last winter. I ended up with a third degree burn covering my hand and forearm. Since I figured I'd be in the ER for a while, and I hurt myself while making breakfast, I brought the cooked bacon along, which reaaaalllly disturbed the ER staff.

Like one what, Punkguyta? How about trying for an insult that make grammatical sense, huh?