1 crochet hook, 2.75 mm
at least 375 yards of 5mm medium weight acrylic yarn in colors approximating hair, preferably in multiple similar colors
1 sheet of plastic canvas, at least 10.5"x 13.5", grade 7 mesh
~18 inches of slender elastic (a cut-open elastic hair wrap works great)
Time: 3-4 hours
Step 1: Yarn and Plastic Canvas
Underneath the label is a leftover strip of the plastic canvas the beard substrate is made of.
I picked brown so it wouldn't stand out much from under the yarn but it comes in other colors too. It cost about $.50 for a sheet and you only need one per beard. Using this stuff saves you the trouble of needing to learn to knit.
It's also sturdy enough to be a solid base, but still easy to cut with scissors.
Step 2: Crochet Hook
Step 3: Diagram
XXXX-tra thick fill means I used 3 strands of yarn instead of 2 and I planted more yarn in that area.
Step 4: Inside the Beard
The top lip is only 2 rows wide, and the mouth hole is 8 rows tall. You can make the shape of the mouth anything you want but a lemon sort of shape seems to be best.
Step 5: Yarn Measurement
After you have wrapped all the yarn, cut the bundle in half and you should then have a bunch of yarn that is twice as long as you want the beard to be. This is exactly what you want, because each piece of yarn makes 2 beard strands.
Step 6: Bottom Layer
Step 7: More Bottom Layer
Step 8: Inside the Moustache
If you don't mind the smell of hairspray, it doesn't hurt to mist this area front and back once you are done braiding, and wipe the stray fibers down with your fingers so they don't pay a visit to your mouth or up your nose.
Step 9: Pin the Moustache to the Upper Lip
I originally tied a knot on the back side of the beard but a better way to do it is to tie the knot in the front, wiggle the knot down to the bottom of the moustache to hide it, and then use the trailing ends of the knot in the rest of the moustache. This way you don't have the knot pressing against your upper lip.
The moustache bundle is about 30 pieces of yarn.
Step 10: Pin the Moustache Ends Down
When pinning the moustache ends down, I tied the knot in the back but then drew the trailing ends back to the front side of the canvas so they could mix in with the rest of the moustache.
Another way to cover the top edge of the plastic canvas is to drape yarn over the top and behind the moustache, and then tuck some of the overlapping drape underneath the moustache. This is instead of planting yarn behind the moustache poofs.
Step 11: Cover the Bottom Lip
Step 12: Check Your Yarn Thickness All Around the Edge
2 layers means I used less yarn, and it's lighter, but there's still plenty of coverage due to sufficient thickness along the top edge, no plastic showed through at all.
Step 13: Insert Epic Braids Here
I finished off the braids by taking an extra piece of yarn, and tying it around the end of the braid. Wrap it around multiple times for a more distinct looking knot (see the end of the center braid)
Tie the ends of the piece of yarn together and mix the loose ends into the tail of the braid.
Step 14: Epic Braid Pics
Bonus: Thor-in's Hammer
Step 15: Elastic
I covered the exposed plastic canvas with a hat, but you probably could cut it off completely and bury the elastic a couple rows under the hairline, inside the yarn.
Step 16: BERSERKER TIME
Step 17: BONUS BEARD LEVEL!
(Is in for a brief doctor visit and will be ready in time for Christmas Eve!)