How to Lie to Authority Figures

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Introduction: How to Lie to Authority Figures

Lying to authority figures is something I have gotten good at over the years. These steps are what I do to keep out of trouble. This is going to take some practice before you get it right for yourself. This isn't something you can learn overnight, but if you get good at it, it will save your neck in the end.

Step 1: Stay Calm

Remember, you're innocent even if you're not. You have nothing to worry about.

It helps to convince yourself that you are telling the truth to begin with. You can not be lying if you don't think you're lying. You might be delusional, but that doesn't matter since you have convinced yourself you are telling the truth.

Step 2: Speak in Generalities

This sometimes works if the person is stupid enough. If your person is good at interrogation this is only going to make them angry. Trust me.

It's good to offer as few details as possible. Only give details if asked for them. Details can be used to unravel lies.

Step 3: Be Prepared

Think of it like a test or a job interview. Think before hand of the questions that this person might ask and rehearse the answers to yourself. Remember to keep the answers short and to the point. Don't provide needless details or bad alibis.

Step 4: Keep Eye Contact and Positive Body Language

There are certain tells that can give away that someone is lying. For instance, when my dad lies he gets all bug-eyed. In fact, many people do that.

To keep from giving yourself away the first thing you want to do is keep eye contact with the person you are talking to. Unless, you are one of those freaks that never make eye contact with anyone. Then, whatever you do, don't make eye contact.

The best way to make eye contact is to focus on an imaginary spot somewhere to the left of their head around their left ear. This will seem like you are looking straight at them.

Keep a neutral and relaxed posture and don't do anything that would make you seem nervous like shake or scratch your neck. I like to stay relaxed by singing Irish folk songs to myself. The kind of song that goes on and on and on.

Step 5: Live Your Lie

If you are going to lie, you have to stand behind it from then on and never change your story. Bring it up from time to time when talking to the person. It will seem more truthful.

Step 6: Don't Get Caught

If you get caught, never tell the truth. Make up another lie or tell a half-truth that isn't as bad and would have forced you to make up the original lie. The goal is to distract them from the real truth and keep yourself out of trouble.

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110 Comments

Some interesting points. Are you one of Donald Trump's children?

How can something be a partial truth?

Otherwise known as a white lie.

The White Lie:
Parent: Where did you go?
You: To the park.
Parent: What did you do?
You: Skipped rocks with my fellows, etc...

The Truth:
You went to the park to smoke weed with your bros and you guys thought it would be hilarious to throw rocks at ducks.

That was a hypothetical situation conceived as I wrote it. Oh, it seems I'm replying to a post from 3 years ago. How's about that.

Ok the one day my mom asked me if i had seen a certian object of my sister i said nope wich was true but tecnicly i was to looking out for it so i sort of lied but still to the truth

or this from grandma

her sister called(sister loved to talk for a long time) grandma told mom to put a potato in the oven so after 10 mins. grandma told her sister that she had something in the oven and needed to go.

She could have put it in the microwave, would have talked for only 5 minutes or so.

This was back in the late 60's and they didn't have a micowave, so mom had to use the oven. And we still use that oven to this day. Gotta love the 50's GE ovens, 60 years later and all that needed to be fixed were the heating coils. ;D

awesome thank you this saved my neck

Dictionary should have as defintion of a LIE... See Clinton.

user

This girl scout gots it down. I think that this step would be the best utilized if you use flash cards (not the techie ones, the ones you made back in school ,duke) . Flash cards, when practiced regularly, allows you to memorize even the most skillfully intricate and brilliant lies. You are then able to say them quickly on the flip of a dime to anyone, so that the pace of the lie you are saying is natural, as it has no interruptions (that obviously are for thinking of what to come up with!). Also, it then becomes just a matter of how you act out your lie, what your demeanor is. You can focus on that after making some cards. Here's a nice instructable for making easy to read flash cards : https://www.instructables.com/id/How-To-Make-Flash-Cards-The-Fast-Easy-and-Right/