Introduction: How to Lie to Authority Figures

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Lying to authority figures is something I have gotten good at over the years. These steps are what I do to keep out of trouble. This is going to take some practice before you get it right for yourself. This isn't something you can learn overnight, but if you get good at it, it will save your neck in the end.

Step 1: Stay Calm

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Remember, you're innocent even if you're not. You have nothing to worry about.

It helps to convince yourself that you are telling the truth to begin with. You can not be lying if you don't think you're lying. You might be delusional, but that doesn't matter since you have convinced yourself you are telling the truth.

Step 2: Speak in Generalities

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This sometimes works if the person is stupid enough. If your person is good at interrogation this is only going to make them angry. Trust me.

It's good to offer as few details as possible. Only give details if asked for them. Details can be used to unravel lies.

Step 3: Be Prepared

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Think of it like a test or a job interview. Think before hand of the questions that this person might ask and rehearse the answers to yourself. Remember to keep the answers short and to the point. Don't provide needless details or bad alibis.

Step 4: Keep Eye Contact and Positive Body Language

Picture of Keep Eye Contact and Positive Body Language

There are certain tells that can give away that someone is lying. For instance, when my dad lies he gets all bug-eyed. In fact, many people do that.

To keep from giving yourself away the first thing you want to do is keep eye contact with the person you are talking to. Unless, you are one of those freaks that never make eye contact with anyone. Then, whatever you do, don't make eye contact.

The best way to make eye contact is to focus on an imaginary spot somewhere to the left of their head around their left ear. This will seem like you are looking straight at them.

Keep a neutral and relaxed posture and don't do anything that would make you seem nervous like shake or scratch your neck. I like to stay relaxed by singing Irish folk songs to myself. The kind of song that goes on and on and on.

Step 5: Live Your Lie

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If you are going to lie, you have to stand behind it from then on and never change your story. Bring it up from time to time when talking to the person. It will seem more truthful.

Step 6: Don't Get Caught

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If you get caught, never tell the truth. Make up another lie or tell a half-truth that isn't as bad and would have forced you to make up the original lie. The goal is to distract them from the real truth and keep yourself out of trouble.


charlesd.parker.33 (author)2017-12-04

Some interesting points. Are you one of Donald Trump's children?

emmabear0310 (author)2016-09-22

awesome thank you this saved my neck

mrstan (author)2016-05-12

Dictionary should have as defintion of a LIE... See Clinton.

Skai (author)2010-07-15

This girl scout gots it down. I think that this step would be the best utilized if you use flash cards (not the techie ones, the ones you made back in school ,duke) . Flash cards, when practiced regularly, allows you to memorize even the most skillfully intricate and brilliant lies. You are then able to say them quickly on the flip of a dime to anyone, so that the pace of the lie you are saying is natural, as it has no interruptions (that obviously are for thinking of what to come up with!). Also, it then becomes just a matter of how you act out your lie, what your demeanor is. You can focus on that after making some cards. Here's a nice instructable for making easy to read flash cards :

ilpug (author)Skai2011-02-14

This is a good idea. One thing to note, however, is that over extensive questioning a persons's story should change in minor but detectable ways if they are telling the truth. This is because someone who is actually telling the truth is more relaxed, and less focused, so they screw up a little bit. The surest way to be caught as a liar is to keep your story the exact same at every retelling. All you need to do is to change the wording of your story slightly at each retelling, or maybe change some obvious but unimportant details.

diy_bloke (author)ilpug2013-09-15

Nothing wrong with changing the wording of yr story from time to time, but even if you tell one consistent story in exactly the same words the police may suspect and even accuse you of lying (they will do that anyway) but there is no proof.

As lawyers say: there is no guilt or innocence, it is only what the court makes of it.

Plo Koon (author)2012-02-17

my ears always turn red. i guess i'll just have to wear a stocking cap while i lie through my teeth.....

ilpug (author)2011-06-20

for all the people who say that lying is bad, i present you with the time honored maxim: ITS ONLY BAD IF YOU GET CAUGHT. i assume this will be taken as trollbait, but i had to say it.

Outmodeduser (author)2009-09-27

I dont know, my friends very athiestic, and I always ask him, "Why bother then?" Evolution is proven, we know that. But I like to believe there is SOMETHING (aka God) out there.

 because to some people being as close to the truth as we believe it is more important that being comfortable

ilpug (author)charlsncharg2011-02-14

What about the Theory of God?

ncaplan (author)Outmodeduser2010-08-30

not every aspect of evolution is proven. it remains to be called the Theory of Evolution. you can't test it on all angles. aspects of it are certainly true which no religious person (that I know) would argue on. antibodies in our bodies evolve, but is that a proof we came from monkey's?

Skai (author)2010-07-15

Hahahaha maybe like that old mountain dew or some song like that, i got you. That's pretty cool that the effect of looking at someone's left ear-kinda-in-that-area will make em think that you are looking them right in the eye. Where'd you get that from? I'd like to try it out. Maybe a good suggestion to people who really have something important to keep a secret from the authorities should practice on friends or comrades-in-arms and ask them if it looks like you are looking them in the eye. I guess it would be a whole lot less nerve-racking to not actually look into someone's eyes while lying. They can be pretty scary eyes. Also, maybe you can tell your friends that hey for today I'm going to be lying to you a lot, but you're not going to know (like that game two truths and a lie) , and I'm going to see if you can catch me. Ask them if they notice any physical tics. Maybe catch it on video. Do it in the mirror, like politicians do. WHATEVER! I'm thinking if it's as important as some of the lies they got to maintain, then...

Mirime (author)Skai2010-11-29

Learned the left ear trick in public presentaions never belived in what i was saying but got about 40-60 bucks for it

willilenium1121 (author)2009-02-09

How is this a perfect example of a liar? Evolution is indeed a fact with evidence. Can you show me evidence of god? He isn't wrong with "life has no meaning" its his own belief like god which makes its true for those who believe. You cannot tell me money is not everything in this world. Sure some things can't be bought with money but without it your a dead man walking. unless your a bum in a shelter.

Ahem.....the facts in the photo are all labeled as lies. Therefore, yogurtofdeath is calling the fellow in the pic a liar for saying these bits of information are untrue.

Skai (author)Ironfounderson2010-07-15

Mm. well said

jordanf1313 (author)2010-05-21

this picture.....i dont get it.   is it a ride?  lol, wtf

coolz (author)2008-05-21

as a Christian, I think this is so wrong

Uncaray (author)coolz2008-05-22

All of History is a Lie. America has only begun to wake up to the fact that she was the country Hitler admired most because of her efficient handling of "The Indian Question." Examples are rife. It has been said "The Winners write the histories," and it is so. Morpheus said, "The Matrix is the world that has been pulled over our eyes to hide the Truth." Coolz believes that lying is a sin and therefore and affront to God. And she is right to think so because it is. But looking at it from a rationalist's point of view it is true also to say that lying is bad, because it ultimately works against the lier's own self interest. Lying is virtually unknown in aborigine cultures and white pioneers and farmers were notable for their inability to lie. This is because in any culture where people are mostly preoccupied with the collective struggle to survive it was in everyone's own best interest to transmit reliable, and trusted, information to the group. In our society we are all alienated from the group. Other people can be exploited at will, and words are the most efficient way to do that. You exploit someones trust for a short term reward regardless of the damage you do. On the other hand once we become aware of the process we can consciously choose, as a culture, for our own self interest, to always and reliably transmit true information to the best of our abilities. What a different world it would be. We might come to a point where "Lying to Authority Figures" is no longer a useful skill.

haunted_lady (author)Uncaray2010-04-01

 This never was a useful skill in how it eats away at the person who has a moral
compass and a soul. Sometimes one feels forced to lie sometimes it is a situation of survival or a perceived need to survive but how is it people become bitter and old in the end of their lives?? One reason by the way they have had to isolate themselves from other by the lies they have told. Lies are wall we build to one another. 
I really enjoyed reading your post. You have a really insightful point of view :)

Uncaray (author)haunted_lady2010-04-02

Thankyou, I agree Haunted Lady, lying is indeed corrosive of the soul. On the other hand when the "Authorities" become a danger to the well being of the nation you have a responsibility to resist injustice, for the sake of your family, friends and future generations. Lying to the Authorities now becomes a tactical question. Giving them true info that permits them to hunt down and kill innocents is not a positive trait either. It is indeed a difficult question, and one each of us needs to decide individually, based on our true experience. Personally I'm pleased it came up, people need to air some of this stuff before they are confronted with an actual situation where lives hang in the balance.

haunted_lady (author)Uncaray2010-04-02

 I totally agree...authorities are usually people who gained entry into positions of power by being related or knowing someone anyone not by true talent or smarts . We need not look no further than our ex president for an example or any of the bosses any of us have at work.
I choose to resist with truth.I will not make myself like them.

Devolved (author)coolz2008-05-21

As a real Christian, I think you are very misinformed. Lying to authority figures is a very important way to non-violently resist tyranny, a core Christian value. Please stop making people like me look bad, Babylonian.

haunted_lady (author)Devolved2010-04-01

 Wow that made me

coolz (author)Devolved2008-05-21

you could stop tyranny with other methods than lying

Devolved (author)coolz2008-05-21

Why should it get excluded? What if they ask me to narc on friends and family, or other activists? What if torture was involved? What if they said "Are you planning on non-violently resisting the upcoming attack/genocide/earth-killing/etc?" with the implication that I'll be arrested for it?

coolz (author)Devolved2008-05-21

well, ask other people about it and schedual a riot

Saint_Awesome (author)coolz2008-05-21

Yeah, because a riot is far less objectionable in Christian terms than lying. A Christian once told me that "Resistance to Tyranny Is Obedience to God" and I think he's right (long as your reality includes a God anyway).

skunkbait (author)Saint_Awesome2008-05-23

I'd rather die with my integrity, than live without it. Would I die for truth? I think so. Would I kill to protect the innocent? Definitely. Would I lie to protect the innocent? That's a tough one.

I would. Truth, however valued, is not a necseeity in the face of tyranny. As a blackbelt I can safely say that fighting is about deception. Not just on the personal level, but on every scale. As for your comment, coolz, I don't think truth is even a Christian value. Give me a passage in the New Testament that says lying is a sin in the face of danger. As Christians, it is our duty to spread the glory of God to the people who know nothing about him or have lost their way. Dying is keeping us from that duty, and I'd much rather lie to someone who'd lie to me than let innocent people get hurt.

Check my comment from May 19. I did give Biblical exceptions in regards to Godly people who lied for a specific cause. But still, I'd rather kill or be killed to protect the innocent. I understand that in Nazi Germany (and others) those were not always options. I just think that lying is a last resort, that one will have to live with and answer for eventually. Is it EVER worth it? That is for the individual to decide with their own conscience.

Outlawzero (author)coolz2008-05-22

So if you lived in Germany during Nazi times and you happened to know where a Jewish family was hiding and an authority figure asked you if you new where they were you would tell them. That makes you blindly faithful. If you have never questioned any of you beliefs then you haven't been tested and you aren't truly faithful, just blindly faithful. You cannot say something is definitively right or wrong unless it has been tested against all possible situations and because there is literally an infinite number of possibility you cannot say something will always in every situation right or wrong. There have been and will be again a right time to lie to authority figures.

Udon (author)Outlawzero2008-12-18

"Lying to authority figures is something I have gotten good at over the years."

What does being Christian (or Muslim. or Buddhist. or Jewish. or anyone who lives by a set of moral standards.) have to do with being blindly faithful?

Individual conscience obviously has a bearing on whether a lie is right or wrong. Everyone will be judged eventually. But the gist of this instructable seems to be that a lie is truth until proven otherwise. And seeing as we are not living in Nazi Germany...what place does a guide on how to lie have?

Will lying ever solve problems? Try lie to authority figures and see whether or not it catches up. People don't fight tyranny by lying. But the instructable didn't have anything to do with that.

Lying slowly hardens a person. That's why the more you lie, the easier it becomes. I thought instructables were supposed to be constructive and helpful, not deconstructive and harmful to self. Who wants to be a good liar?

coolz (author)Outlawzero2008-05-22

well, consider that an exeption to my values

kneecaps (author)coolz2008-11-13

very specific today arent we?

hcold (author)Outlawzero2008-10-28

Epic Godwin's Law phail. Though, still a fine example.

tercero (author)coolz2008-05-21

Can't be any worse than governments that continuously lie to us.

Karletto555 (author)2010-04-01

few years ago a cop stopped me for road check.
"where are you driving to?" he asked.
"iam just driving around" i said.
He looked a bid angry because of the answer but in matter of seconds he let me go.

A good name (author)2010-04-01
That's just more likely to make you relax and forget your story.
=SMART= (author)2009-08-15

Very good, step 4 was very funny "maybe too close" hahaha

csfreak50 (author)2009-08-06

All these steps you show seem to be the right attributes to a court room situation, many prosecutors put a play of words when it comes to litigations and their clients which is why most don't lie, but cover up details in order to pathologically convince the court their claims, its sometimes thought to be "dirty lawyer tricks" but its very effective. other than that nice job, very easy to follow and it does take time

mushfiqc (author)2009-01-20

Another tip: use VERY big vocabulary it tends to make them sway off the topic and use words that might have 2 or more meanings it makes them think about the word and the things your saying and not intent on catching you lie. and also DONT think of anything else like a song if you do mouth the words they might be thinking your lying and just looking to see if the lie worked.

Eye Poker (author)2008-06-05

Never lie to the State, Police or other authority figures. They are our friends and only have our best interest at heart. Eastasia has always been our enemy!


babyboyric (author)2009-01-13

I respectfully disagree with this. Lying can be refined to an art. Like acting or performing. Every situation in lying is unique. A true artist reads the lie-ee and knows what type of behavior and approach is best suited. I lie to my friend's for practice. I make up little stories that are harmless. It's a game. Sometimes they guess that I am lying and I tell them. They know in advance that I am prone to do this. So it becomes a bit of hide and seek. It's practice for when I might need to lie for real. baby boy ric

logan huntington (author)2008-07-12

well.. i read it all the way through, and some of the tips are useful if you're the lying type. i actually laughed out loud at the picture in step 5. leave it to a religious person to teach us to lie. (;

Yup, they are known to do it so well.

Mr. Rig It (author)2008-05-19

How about just not getting into trouble in the first place.

carlitors (author)Mr. Rig It2008-06-11

Not all of us are civilised.

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