Introduction: Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster

The recipe for the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster from the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is as follows:

  1. Take the juice from one bottle of that Ol' Janx Spirit.
  2. Pour into it one measure of water from the seas of Santraginus V (Oh, that Santragian seawater! Oh, those Santragian fish!)
  3. Allow three cubes of Arcturan Mega-gin to melt into the mixture (it must be properly iced or the benzene is lost).
  4. Allow four litres of Fallian marsh gas to bubble through it, in honor of all those happy hikers who have died of pleasure in the Marshes of Fallia.
  5. Over the back of a silver spoon float a measure of Qalactin Hypermint extract, redolent of all the heavy odors of the dark Qalactin Zones, subtle, sweet, and mystic.
  6. Drop in the tooth of an Algolian Suntiger. Watch it dissolve, spreading the fires of the Algolian Suns deep into the heart of the drink.
  7. Sprinkle Zamphuor.
  8. Add an olive.
  9. Drink . . . but . . . very carefully . . .

The methods and ingredients used in the preparation of the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster vary slightly when mixing the drink on Earth. This recipe describes suitable ingredient substitutions for those that cannot be found on this planet.


Step 1: Santraginus V Sea Water

Chanh Muối, or Preserved Lemons provide a saltiness similar to that of Santraginus V Sea Water.

Smash one quarter of one preserved lemon into the bottom of each glass, preferably with a small gold brick.

Step 2: Arcturan Mega-gin

Arcturan Mega-gin is not so different from earth gin. The "mega" is due to the fact that the gin is ultra bruised from traveling through the depths of the most turbulent space at the speed of an Arcturan megacamel in a dark matter powered blender. Unfortunately, nothing on earth has enough power to bruise gin to this extent, so we will simply shake it with ice as vigorously as possible for 30 seconds. But wait! The gin must be shaken with the tooth of an Algolian Suntiger. Read on.

Step 3: Fallian Marsh Gas and Ol' Janx Spirit

Fallian marsh gas provides a slight carbonation to the cocktail. Ol' Janx Spirit has a flavor not dissimilar from ginger. Luckily, ginger beer has both of these qualities.

Step 4: Qalactin Hypermint Extract

Qalactin Hypermint extract can be described as subtle, sweet, and mystic. Unfortunately for humans, the flavor is so subtle, it tastes no different than ice.

Step 5: Algolian Suntiger Tooth

The Algolian Suntiger is a ferocious beast; it is lucky that none exist on earth. 1 habanero pepper shaken with gin and ice provides a warming sensation to the drink, similar to that of the AT tooth.

Step 6: Zamphuor

Zamphuor is simply crushed ice.

Step 7: Pan Galactic

The final recipe, with consideration for the substitutions described.

3 parts gin

2 parts ginger beer

1/4 preserved lemon, per glass

1/2 habanero per glass

ice

Smash 1/4 preserved lemon in each glass. Shake, gin, ice and sliced habanero pepper for 30 seconds. Distribute in glasses. Nearly top glasses with ginger beer. Sprinkle with crushed ice. Garnish with an olive.


Comments

author
Todd Gehris (author)2014-06-02

Ah Belgium! My brain!

author
schlem (author)2014-02-19

Delightful, perfect. Alas, no mention of voluntary organizations that exist to help you recover afterwards.

author
rcraven1 (author)schlem2014-03-04

Grin, they may not exist yet on our planet. Might have to start one.

author
samgj (author)2014-02-14

To bad I don't know anyone who would undestand this.

author
rcraven1 (author)samgj2014-02-16

Read the 'Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy' by Douglas Adams. It is one of the funniest sets of books ever written (also radio show, tv show, and a movie) ....unless of course you don't like sci-fiction....or comedy...

author
pdubinsky (author)rcraven12014-03-04

or the funniest book ever written. Read it and you'll never look at 42 the same way again.

author
Lorax98 (author)2014-03-02

Ok. First I had to make preserved lemons. Not too hard, just takes about a week. Then I had to gather the remaining ingredients. Habanero peppers are not in season; it took a few stores to find fresh ones. Got it all together, mixed it up as per the instructions, and.......tasted a lot like dirt. Not horrible, but definitely an earthy flavor from the pepper. I am not sure I will try to make this beverage again. But, on the plus side, I have some preserved lemons the next time I broil salmon or chicken. Thanks for the romp down the Hitchhiker memory lane.

author
wizgirl (author)Lorax982014-03-03

Perhaps you would describe it as the alcoholic equivalent to a mugging?

Thanks for trying it. It certainly has a unique flavor and should have a nice burn.

author
riff raff (author)2014-02-18

“The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy also mentions alcohol. It says that the best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, the effect of which is like having your brains smashed out with a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick.” -- Douglas Adams

:) :) :)

author
Lerrinus (author)2014-02-15

I remember reading various recipes for this but the best instructions ever after the ingredient list were: "mix, and find a nice place to land!"

author
teeval (author)2014-02-14

wizgirl, I love you!

author
wizgirl (author)teeval2014-02-15

Awe, I ❤ you too!

author
cfolts (author)2014-02-15

Wizgirl you are truly one Hoopy Frood!!!

author
kaijura (author)2014-02-14

oh man! i literally almost lmao! miss douglas adams but so nice that he lives on in delightful libations and other tributes to "just this guy"

author
skipsinclair (author)2014-02-13

42? That's NUMBERWANG!!!!

author
agp101838 (author)2014-02-13

omg at 75yrsold I have NO idea whatinthehell all these ingreds are but I'm doing my best to figger it all out cause it sounds exactly like something I would love! Thanx...

author
uncle frogy (author)2014-02-13

what no 200proof ethyl alcohol from Shell Chem.?

uncle frogy

author
NitroRustlerDriver (author)2014-02-13

I've always liked this "translation":

http://lookoutofanywindow.blogspot.com/2009/10/real-pan-galactic-gargle-blaster.html

author
Howder1951 (author)2014-02-13

I am tyeing this using tplkinpsis.

Pvpry timp I hit an P i gpt a e, is it from the drink?

author
ilpug (author)2014-02-11

I like it. I think I'll have to share my own version in the future

author
wizgirl (author)ilpug2014-02-11

a duel!

author
ilpug (author)wizgirl2014-02-11

Where did you hear that old janx spirit tastes like ginger?

author
wizgirl (author)ilpug2014-02-13

My buddy, Zaphod.

author
ilpug (author)wizgirl2014-02-11

Hmm. I fear mine would be terribly complex. I mean, it is the best drink in the galaxy, so it would be worth the effort...

I'll start researching ingredients.

I've got an idea for the swamp gas part that would be a ton of fun.

author
nak (author)2014-02-13

Very nice, did you cut the habenero at all?

author
wizgirl (author)nak2014-02-13

Yep, best to use kitchen shears and cut it directly into the shaker.

author
nak (author)wizgirl2014-02-13

thanks! (/me sweats just thinking about it)

author
kcox14 (author)2014-02-13

Terrific! I was just searching the 'nets a few weeks ago for this very recipe, on the occasion of my friend's 42nd birthday - found a few, all basically Long Island Iced Tea variants, but none so creatively written and illustrated. Bravo! Going to try it tonight!

author
wizgirl (author)kcox142014-02-13

Awesome!! Let me know what you think.

author
emily_c (author)2014-02-12

Ps this absolutely made my day.

author
wizgirl (author)emily_c2014-02-13

Yay! This comment made my day :).

author
emily_c (author)2014-02-12

Have you found any voluntary organization to help you rehabilitate?

author
TheBoozyBarista (author)2014-02-11

I recently read The Restaurant at the End of the Universe and was wracking my brain trying to come up with a recipe for this! Very impressive!

author
wizgirl (author)TheBoozyBarista2014-02-11

thanks!

author
ipaintitblack (author)2014-02-11

Well done. Now here's a frood who knows where his towel is.

author
wizgirl (author)ipaintitblack2014-02-11

where *her* towel is? ;)

author
Mielameri (author)2014-02-10

Awesome, awesome, awesome! Thanks for the ible and love the glasses!

author
wizgirl (author)Mielameri2014-02-11

thanks!

author
twdodd (author)2014-02-11

I tried to type this comment with telekinesis but alas I've already had a couple of these, guess I wont be knocking one over.

author
wizgirl (author)twdodd2014-02-11

:)

author
Stan1y (author)2014-02-11

the hitch hikers guide to the galaxy notes sll planets have developed a drink call gin and tonic it ranges from tap water served at slightly above room temperature tp something that will kill cows at thirty paces

author
wizgirl (author)Stan1y2014-02-11

how many have you had?

author
stevetbaptist (author)2014-02-10

I feel as if my brians have been smashed in by a slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick. Was watching Numberphiles episode "42 and Douglas Adams" when I saw this. Bless you.

author
wizgirl (author)stevetbaptist2014-02-11

Oh my, I just realized it's day of year 42 today!

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