Well, now you can live your dream with your very own Seuss-a-phone.
My apologies to the estate of the late Theodore Geisel. But since I am not making any money on this, and maybe this Instructable will sell a few of his books, I hope you will forgive me for using the name...
Step 1: Gather your materials
1. One trumpet mouthpiece. I selected the Belmonte 7c $19.99, as it is the most inexpensive around. If you want to add some color, Kelly Mouthpieces makes Lexan transparent mouthpieces in many colors and they are less than $20 on-line.
Also available on eBay and at garage sales.
2. 10' of copper coolant tubing 1/2 inch OD (outside diameter) $19.99. This will fit the trumpet mouthpiece perfectly. Available at any hardware store.
3. One Plews LubriMatic Utility Funnel $4.95. A galvanized metal funnel for oil and hydraulic fluid. The metal carries the harmonic resonance better than polypropylene, has a gooseneck for visual effect, and, coincidentally, fits over the copper tubing perfectly. I bought this at Home Depot in the hardware department.
Step 2: Mouthpiece
Step 3: The Bell
Add a bell by sticking the Plews LubriMatic Utility Funnel on the opposite end of the tubing as the mouthpiece.
Step 4: Shape your Seuss-a-phone
The coolant tubing is nice and pliable, easy to bend and shape. Be careful not to kink the tubing. Big round bends are best. If you want a tight radius, you should use a tube bender. You can assist the process by filling the tubing with damp sand before bending. This will help avoid kinks.
Thanks to PaulE and his commenters.
But I don't have time for that sort of fussiness.
Incidentally, you can cut the tube to whatever length you want. Use a tube cutter or a light stroke with the hacksaw. The shorter the tube, the higher the pitch. This is how trumpets work, the valves lengthen or shorten the effective tube length, changing the notes. I like the 10' tube. It looks wacky and has a nice resonant sound.
Step 5: Now Hear This...
You will need to practice your lip buzzing technique a little to get a nice sound. Think of it as making a prolonged farting noise into the mouthpiece.
For added effect, put on a big striped hat and coverall, and ride a unicycle...
"And think of the
poor puffing Poogle-Horn Players,
who have to parade
down the Poogle-Horn Stairs
every morning to wake up
the Prince of Poo-Boken.
It's awful how often
their poogles get broken!"
-Dr. Seuss "Did I Ever Tell You How Lucky You Are?"
Have fun, and don't break your poogle!