And yet everyone wants one!!!?
AKA: The Ultimate Machine!
Get Your Useless Machine: Purchase Useless Machine Kits Here!
Update Oct 31, 2012:
"Weird Al" Yankovic Sez: "I never realized till now how much I needed one of these."
AS SEEN ON TV! Make Magazine's amiable editor-in-chief, Mark Frauenfelder demonstrated The Useless Machine on the Colbert Report!
Useless Machine Featured in Vol 23 of Make Magazine!
Thanks everyone for all the cool comments, suggestions and all the videos! Keep 'em coming.