Vegan Spinach Pie, or How to Turn Your Urine Into an Ideal Hydroponic Solution for Plants!

In the spring of 2006 I sent my urine to a floriculture lab and learned that it contained all the nutrients necessary for plant growth but not in the ideal concentrations. So I put myself on a vegan diet that would transform my urine into an ideal liquid nutrient solution for plants. I ate lots of nuts and seeds, tofu, spinach, and other leafy greens and built a mobile urine recycling system outfitted with a urinal, urine processor and sterilizer, foam bed, kitchen, and hydroponic napa cabbage garden. I urinated, grew napa cabbages hydroponically with my urine, made kimchi from the napa cabbage, and served the kimchi to the public.

Vegan Spinach Pie was one of my favorite dishes from the diet. It has lots of calcium, protein (nitrogen), magnesium, potassium, and phosphate.

Step 1: Gather Ingredients

1 onion, medium diced
2 1/2 cloves garlic, finely minced
2 Tbs olive oil (not extra virgin)
1 1/2 lb. Spinach, chopped into 1/2" pieces (or two-16 oz. packages frozen spinach)
1/8 tsp nutmeg
1/8 tsp pepper, black or white
1 block tofu, extra extra firm
1 Tbs. vegetable stock powder
1/3 C. vegetable oil
1 Tbs. Tamari (natural soy sauce)
1 large lemon, juiced (or more, to taste)
1 tsp. salt
1/2 Tbs. soymilk powder
1/2 C. toasted walnuts and/or pumpkin seeds, chopped (optional)
20 sheets phyllo dough
olive oil cooking spray (or olive oil mister, or olive oil + a brush)

Step 2: Tools You'll Need

Sharp Knife
Cutting Board
Measuring tools: Cup, Teaspoon, tablespoon
Food Processor
Cast Iron Skillet (at least 8" diameter), or regular skillet (not pictured here)
Spatula/Big Spoon (not pictured here)
8.5"x1" baking dish (not pictured here)

Step 3: Cook It

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

Fry onion and garlic in olive oil in cast iron skillet.
Add spinach, saute 5 minutes. Add nutmeg and pepper. Remove from heat.

In food processor, pulse tofu, vegetable oil, stock powder, tamari, soymilk, lemon juice, salt until the tofu looks crumbly (see image). Combine with spinach mixture and stir. Toss in nuts/seeds. Adjust seasonings to taste. (Hint: add the juice of one more lemon for extra tanginess)

Grease a baking dish with olive oil (spray or spread with hands), line it with 10 sheets of phyllo dough.
Spread spinach mixture evenly on top of phyllo.
Add one sheet at a time of the remaining phyllo to the top of the spinach mixture, lightly spraying every other sheet with olive oil as you go.
Place remaining phyllo on top of mixture.
Lightly spray top of pie with cooking spray.

Bake for 35-40 minutes at 375 degrees, or until the phyllo bakes up slightly brown and crusty. Let cool for 30 minutes. Cut into squares.

Step 4: Build Some Kind of System to Process Your Urine, Urinate, Sleep, and Make Kimchi.

Your system could be as simple as a 5-gallon bucket hydroponic garden containing substrate with lots of surface area and lots of nitrobacter and nitrosomas bacteria. Here's what my system looked like. In about a month or two, you'll have cabbage to make kimchi or sauerkraut.
Images #1, 4, and 5 by Jonathon Hexner.