Iron Merkin

by rachel

21K6343

Intro: Iron Merkin

Don't really know how to introduce this. It is an idea I had during a random Terrible Things discussion, and then I just had to make one. Alcohol was involved in the discussion, although not in the making.

A merkin is a pubic hair wig. An Iron Maiden is a medieval torture device. The Iron Merkin is both of those things, or neither. It is a terrible product idea.

STEP 1: The Merkin

I made the merkin itself out of 22 gauge steel. For the base, I cut a roughly triangular shape. For the "hair", I trimmed small pieces from scrap using tin snips, which tend to make the pieces curl as they cut. I welded the "hair" onto the base using a TIG welder, starting from the bottom and moving upwards. I held the "hairs" with a pair of pliers while welding them on. The base curved somewhat on its own from the heat applied just to the upper side of it, and I bent it slightly more by hand until it had a shape I liked.

STEP 2: The Packaging

I wanted the thing to have a look of a product, and it seemed pretty straightforward to give it a cardboard base with marketing on it. I used Photoshop to cobble together something vaguely product-like, borrowing an image from Erika Tanith for the merkin model (thanks Erika!). I printed this (photo paper would have worked well but I didn't have any) and glued it to a piece of cardboard using spray glue, trimming it to size with a utility knife. I then put a laminating sheet over top to get the shininess (folding the edges around back, which is not how packaging normally works but Hey).

As you can see the merkin looks FANTASTIC on its package!

STEP 3: Assembly

To attach the merkin to its backing, I used zip ties. I placed it where I wanted, then drew small marks for the holes the zip ties would go through. I cut the holes with a utility knife, pushed three zip ties through, and zipped them.

It looks so Producty! No Kickstarter coming, I promise.

33 Comments

Rowan_Winterhaven 2 years ago

The best go-eff-yerself to the judgy: "You know, you should really shave your bits." Beautiful work, Rachel! X3

Alex in NZ 2 years ago

I can't believe I've only just stumbled on this. It's hilarious. I don't know whether the design, the packaging or the name is the best bit. Thank you for sharing.

vanweb 9 years ago

But how does it stay attached it the "intended area"?

G3kko 4 years ago

2C / 2K Glue

GriffB 6 years ago

Hot glue? Ouch!

GriffB 6 years ago

Rachel you're a sick puppy! I like that in a woman!

YDandAss 7 years ago

Dang, that's a tough gal there!

ecodelight 8 years ago

excuse me? What the hell are you doing and why? No, you won't be consulting merkineers to enhance your collective knowledge. You are an embarrassment!

j.middlefinger 8 years ago

Can someone make an iron mouth-kin to shut this individual up?

canida 8 years ago

Oh, this was from YOU! Best Secret Satan gift of the year.

And excellent work on the packaging. People really thought it might be a product.

Gryndar 9 years ago

Uh........hahahahaha. this made my day, thanks

TheAssemblagist 9 years ago

This is absolutely brilliant and wonderful and we should all embrace Merkins. In my family, we are proud to be ah merkins. Thank you for making this. Thank you for sharing this. Thank you for being alive. This merkin made my day. I'll be making' more merkins, thanks to your inspiration. You are a credit all all makers, and we salute you.

Tat2Chicky81 9 years ago

Hahaha! The funniest comment on here,by Puma560: "I really don't think this should be on Instructables. Blah blah blah safe site for my children to view. Please don't spoil that by lowering to blah blah type of thing. It's unnecessary." REALLY!?! With all the other bullcrap that is visually disturbing &/or child endangering on the Internet, and she's going to say that!? About this!? Wow, this woman really needs to open her eyes a little bit more before she starts with demands/recommendations of such! Lol! It's not only something of a natural nature that effects everyone in the whole world at one/some point, pubic hair, but it's also...A JOKE!!! Damn.

wilwrk4tls 9 years ago

While I don't think that this crosses too far, I do think that there should be an adult section for Instructables requiring age verification which would open up a whole new realm of project scopes. Very much separated, and yet in the same vein/format/etc.

Rachael K 9 years ago

Lol, does it come with a free tetanus shot? This could quite possible win for the weirdest, worstest, funniest, most confusing present ever given. Let me know if you make more, I might buy one for white elephant next year, hahaha!

Doctor90250 9 years ago

funniest thing ive ever seen on here. people use lol so loosely but i am still laughing out loud!

DSJesterXII 9 years ago

The iron maiden was never a mediaeval torture device. It was created by a circus troupe for stunts, and they claimed it was a torture device, so all the idiot peasants believed them.

More Comments