THIS IS SALSA!!!!!

Intro: THIS IS SALSA!!!!!

I was wandering around one day both bored and hungry. Not a good combination to be if you are a large person who happens to be on a tight budget. I looked at the possibilities and there were many. I settled on chips and salsa. $6.99 for a jug of salsa!!! Are you serious? I thought to myself, "self. you can make that." (I do not capitalize when I think to myself) So I did. Fast forward 2 years and I discovered the Instructables website. Yada yada yada, Salsa instructable.

STEP 1: Items to Be Used

I will list the items used and some obvious disclaimers after a few of them.

cutting board
knife DISCLAIMER: Knives are sharp. Please use caution when wielding one as they have been known to be lethal weapons.
smaller YET STILL POSSIBLY LETHAL knife
spoon
juicer (optional)
blender DISCLAIMER: Blenders have sharp knives that rotate at high speeds at the bottom of them. see knife disclaimer above.
bowl

INGREDIENTS:
3 or 4 whole tomatoes
large can of diced tomatoes
1 large red onion
1 bundle of cilantro
1 or 2 limes
10 or so jalapenos
salt

STEP 2: Getting Started

It may be a simple thing but I think the first step to food preparation is hand washing. This will also be important later.
Open the can of tomatoes and dump it into the blender.
PUT THE LID ON THE BLENDER!
I use the "chop" button on mine but you may have a high tech one. Do not make liquid tomatoes here. Just chop them up for about 5 seconds.
Pour this soupy slush into your LARGE bowl.

ONIONS
These things give off fumes that cause acid to build up in the eyes thus making it difficult to use your knife safely.
You may wish to utilize a fan to blow the fumes away from your face while cutting these.
Whatever your method for this, chop up onions. As mush as you want in your salsa. I used 1/3 of a softball sized red onion.
Add them to your LARGE bowl.

STEP 3: Adding the Jalapenos

This is the step that will determine if your salsa is edible or military grade WMD worthy.
I am going to be very specific here. If you are experienced with Jalapenos then please ignore my specificity.
THE SEEDS AND LIGHT GREEN VEINS INSIDE ARE THE HOT PARTS!
Cut off the stem about 1/4 to 1/2 inch down the pepper.
Slice the pepper in half lengthwise.
Use the spoon to scoop out the seeds and veins. DISCLAIMER: Do this in a DOWNWARD MOTION MOVING AWAY FROM THE FACE!!!
Set seeds and veins aside or discard.
Rinse out cleaned peppers to get rid of any clingy seeds.
I like to slice into thin strips and then dice my strips into tiny little pepper pieces. Whatever you like to do to achieve diced peppers is your call.
Add the diced peppers to your LARGE bowl.

WASH YOUR HANDS!!! WHEN YOU THINK THEY ARE WASHED ENOUGH, WASH THEM AGAIN! I can not stress this enough. If you fail to wash your hands at this point, you will regret your ever being born. There is a 100% chance of having to go to the restroom or getting something in your eye. If you fail to wash your hands.....I feel sorry for you.

STEP 4: Adding the Other Stuff

Tomatoes are subjective. If you like your salsa chunky then chop your tomatoes. If you like your salsa thinner then you may wish to get the blender back out. I like mine chunky. I chopped my tomatoes and added them to my LARGE bowl.

Cilantro is funny. Not just the name but the properties of it. It is a member of the parsley family but has a totally unique taste. It is also hard to cut up because you are mincing leaves. I use a rocking motion with the knife to maximize cutting action. PLEASE BE CAREFUL NOT TO STICK YOUR FINGER UNDER THE ROCKING KNIFE BLADE!
As you can see above, cilantro is messy too. 
Add it to the LARGE bowl.

STEP 5: Seasoning

Lime is essential to salsa for two reasons. One, it adds a bit of tart flavor to your salsa. Second and more important is that lime juice also keeps fresh cut produce from spoiling.

Roll the lime under your hand with slight pressure a few times back and forth. This makes it easier to extract the juices.
Half your lime.
If you have a juicer then you probably know how to use it. If not then squeeze the holy crud out of your lime and get all the juice possible into your LARGE bowl.

Salt to taste.
I used about 1/2 teaspoon of salt for mine but you can always start with none and add more until it tastes awesome to you.

STEP 6: Finishing

Mix all ingredients together.
Cover.
Refrigerate.
Enjoy!

I hope you all enjoy my first Instructable. I look forward to reading your feedback or telling me how bad it was. Try it and let me know what you think.

Comments

[monsterlego]

"this is bean dip"

"No... THIS IS SALSA!!!"

[bmelton1]

Exactly what I had in mind when I titled it.

[monsterlego]

:)

[dok829]

Making this is going to be the highlight of my weekend! I'm giving to my dad for Christmas haha kinda weird when you think about it but he loves salsa so thanks!

[bmelton1]

You are welcome.

[sunshiine]

Love your presentation! Enjoyed the pictures and humor! Thanks for sharing.
Sunshiine

[PrescriptionX]

Nicely done sir, this is basically exactly the same salsa I make at home. Damn fine on grilled cheese!

[scoochmaroo]

Looks great. I agree with the video idea! And a nice clean shot of the salsa would make for a compelling intro image.

[bmelton1]

I totally love that you commented here. I have looked at a ton of our ibles. They rock!

[scoochmaroo]

Well, I'm looking forward to seeing more from you!

[bmelton1]

After being told that I may wish to have a more appealing first image, I have swapped the last and first pics to do just that. Thanks for the suggestions. I will try to get a sushi instructable up soon.

[l8nite]

as much as I like mexican and texmex food, I seriously DISlike cilantro, I'm one of those people for who it tastes soapy but I've found that baby spinach or other baby salad mix when chopped and added to a drained can of fire roasted tomatoes and or cherry tomato quarters, chopped garlic and a medley of peppers from bell to habanero and next year if I can get some to grow GHOST peppers with some lime juice makes a great salsa. Of course I adjust the heat level according to who I'm sharing with. Nicely done "ible" thank you for sharing your techniques

[bmelton1]

You sir are truly scary if you plan on eating ANYTHING with Ghost peppers in it. As for the baby spinach, I may have to try that.

[l8nite]

I think it's a family thing, my 4yo grandson puts tabasco sauce on everything and even likes jarred jalapeno slices on cheese and crackers, on the other hand my significant other thinks salt and black pepper is the only spice food needs which can make cooking interesting, what I consider bland has her reaching for the milk

[mbybee]

Melton just because I really miss you, im gonna go make your salsa, you should really do a video if possible, it would be great to hear you talk about all this.