Don't really know how to introduce this. It is an idea I had during a random Terrible Things discussion, and then I just had to make one. Alcohol was involved in the discussion, although not in the making.

A merkin is a pubic hair wig. An Iron Maiden is a medieval torture device. The Iron Merkin is both of those things, or neither. It is a terrible product idea.

Step 1: The Merkin

I made the merkin itself out of 22 gauge steel. For the base, I cut a roughly triangular shape. For the "hair", I trimmed small pieces from scrap using tin snips, which tend to make the pieces curl as they cut. I welded the "hair" onto the base using a TIG welder, starting from the bottom and moving upwards. I held the "hairs" with a pair of pliers while welding them on. The base curved somewhat on its own from the heat applied just to the upper side of it, and I bent it slightly more by hand until it had a shape I liked.

Step 2: The Packaging

I wanted the thing to have a look of a product, and it seemed pretty straightforward to give it a cardboard base with marketing on it. I used Photoshop to cobble together something vaguely product-like, borrowing an image from Erika Tanith for the merkin model (thanks Erika!). I printed this (photo paper would have worked well but I didn't have any) and glued it to a piece of cardboard using spray glue, trimming it to size with a utility knife. I then put a laminating sheet over top to get the shininess (folding the edges around back, which is not how packaging normally works but Hey).

As you can see the merkin looks FANTASTIC on its package!

Step 3: Assembly

To attach the merkin to its backing, I used zip ties. I placed it where I wanted, then drew small marks for the holes the zip ties would go through. I cut the holes with a utility knife, pushed three zip ties through, and zipped them.

It looks so Producty! No Kickstarter coming, I promise.