I built this stool to improve pooping angle. While many Americans and Europeans find it strange and uncomfortable to poo while squatting, it in fact puts your insides in a much healthier angle to do so. See this terribly weird advertisement for an explanation. I simply cant bring myself to buy a product being advertised by a knight and his friend the unicorn who poops ice-cream, so I built one instead.

The pile of poo emoji just seemed like a good choice for this stool.

Supplies

Materials: Walnut, Maple (or similar), African Black wood (or similar), wood glue, danish oil or similar

Tools: CNC router, wood lathe, random orbital sander

Step 1: Number 1 and Number 2 (CAD and CAM)

Fusion360 is my CAD software of choice because it is really good at moving between surface modeling and solid modeling, it also has integrated CAM functionality, which is extremely useful for making CNC tool paths. One might say it is the S#!t. If you are unfamiliar with all of this computer stuff I recommend taking Jon-A-Tron's CNC class (https://www.instructables.com/class/CNC-Class/).

I started by using the Canvas function to import a large image of everyone's favorite poo emoji as a backdrop for the model. I started by pulling 2D sketches from that and then making 3D extrusions. I then turned those extrusions into surface models and edited them to add curvature. I then converted them back into solid shapes and combined them before cutting out the pockets for the face.

The bulk of the matieral is roughed away using a 1/2 inch flat router bit and an adaptive clearing path. A paralell pass cleans up the curves with a 1/2 inch ball end router bit. The pockets for the face are cleaned up with a 1/4 inch flat in a simple pocket pass.

Step 2: The Turd Cutter

The walnut stock is fixtured to the bed of the CNC router with wood screws at each corner. I cut at 150 inches per min on the roughing passes an 400 on the parallel pass finishing steps with a 1/2 inch ball end router bit. The shape is convenient for nesting if you turn each piece 180 degrees from the last. Or I suppose probably 60 degrees to get a hexagonal nesting pattern.

Step 3: Cutting It Flush (get It?)

A simple band saw cut and flush cut router pass cleans up the edges.

Step 4: Polishing the Poop

The CNC router left the poo rough and a little chunky, so it needed to do some sanding to get it nice and smooth. Like any woodworking project, it is important to sand with the grain to eliminate all scratches. Start with the rest-stop bathroom grade, and finish with that plush soft stuff with the bears on it. You know what I'm talking about.

Step 5: Getting S#!t Faced

I used a reclaimed piece of wood from a broken chair for the eyes and mouth of the poo stool. Check one of my other instructables if you are curious about where the other parts of the broken chair went. For this step, I used Fusion360's CAM functions again to program simple pockets and profiles for 3 separate parts.

I used a table router to round off a radius on the edges of the eyes and mouth. Be really careful here, these parts are small, and the router can catch them easily.

Step 6: Poopils (Pupils)

A friend gave me a little piece of African blackwood for the pupils. I tried to cut it into thin sections and cut it on the laser cutter, but it turns out blackwood is too oily to cut well with a laser, so I ended up using the CNC router again. Could have used walnut here too, but if i'm going to spend this much time on something like this, why not go all out.

After inlaying the pupils I used sander to smooth out the inlay.

Step 7: Logs (legs? I Know, This Is Getting to Be a Stretch)

I turned the legs for this stool on the wood lathe. The holes for the legs are drilled at an angle to give it a little more stability and help it out a little aesthetically too. People have been telling me it looks like crap anyway though. According to the authorities on the subject, an ideal leg angle for pooping is achieved with a 7 inch tall stool on a standard sized toilet.

Can you hear that? That is the wood shop instructor side of me yelling at the myself for resting the stool on blocks on the drill press instead of building a proper angle jig. Don't listen to that guy.

Step 8: Get Your S#!t Together

All the pieces are glued together using wood glue. I considered using a wedged tenon for the legs, but that felt unnecessary given the relatively low lateral force this stool is likely to experience.

Step 9: Don't Forget to Wipe

The color of walnut really comes out beautifully with danish oil. I used a couple coats on this particular stool sample.

Step 10: Poop!

Keep this crappy stool in your bathroom where it rightfully belongs and use it to raise your legs to a healthier angle for a better pooping experience.

Hope you liked this project. If you think my workmanship is crappy or if the project stinks in general, please tell me how to improve in the future.

If you like toilet themed projects, please check out the Toilet Garden!