Squeez Bacon

ThinkGeek is a wonderful website. If you haven't heard of it, check it out. I love it, but one time they pulled a cruel trick on me. You see, ThinkGeek has a history of pulling April Fools jokes, ever since 2001. When I first found the site, some time around 2008 or so, I'd check it at least once a wek or so to look at cool products. Then, in 2009, on April 1st I checked the website. And I found the best thing that would ever happen to me.  Squeezable bacon. I was going to order 500 of these things. Then, in a couple days, I checked back and my heart broke. It was an April Fool's joke. I almost cried. Eventually I got over it, but I always had the thought of squeezable baconin the back of my head. Then, when I saw this contest, I thought, "What cool thing could I do with bacon?" Finally, I had my "aha!" moment. Squeez Bacon. Sure, it was a fictional joke from the past, but I could make it work.... but I couldn't. Not for a couple weeks or so. It took me several tries, because so many different ideas failed. But, as Edison said, I didn't fail 10 or so times, I just found 10 ways that didn't work. And trust me, did they not work. Sometimes it wasn't squeezable, other times it tasted terrible; but it was always something. After forever, I had my idea, tried, and it worked. I felt like I won lotto. I had discovered how to make squeezable bacon. With this instructable, I am going to share my treasure with the Instructables community.

Step 1: Materials

You don't need much for this project.

Food wise, you need-
-Bacon (no, really?)
-Flour
-Water
-and some Maltodextrin (this can be found at a brewery supply store.)

For stuff, you need:
-A Frying pan
-Paper towels
-Mixing bowl
-Spoon
-Meat Cleaver
-A Squeezable container
-Red Paper, adhesive, and label (optional)
-A blender(optional)

Comments

[seraphale]

The extrusion slot of an empty, squeezable mayo bottle would make it look more like bacon strips and less like... well. ;) I'm actually glad that you can't buy this commercially, because I LOVE me some BLTs and I'd end up eating waay too many! Yummm

[cheesehead11]

is the Maltodextrin absolutely nessecary?

[cheesehead11]

If so, how much do you need? Is it very expensive? How much is it usually?

[slyfox55]

If you put your bacon mixture in a large ziplock and then cut the corner off you could squeeze it all into the bottle, no muss no fuss :D

plus if you mixed the flour/water solution in the bag, you wouldn't even have a bowl to wash!

[anibioman]

love the office quote.

[splazem]

Greatest show ever.

[dombeef]

Yep, too bad he left :(

[splazem]

R.I.P. Michael Scott.

[dombeef]

Well he still is alive, just with his girlfriend at boulder(where ever that is)

[splazem]

Boulder is at Colorado, if I'm not mistaken. And his girlfriend is Holly Flax.

[dombeef]

Yeah, I forgot where

[anibioman]

lol i know the actress who plays holy, amy ryan shes cool.

[splazem]

Really? That's awesome!

[That One Eegit]

And then he goes off and burns his foot in the grill. (no kidding)

[splazem]

I love that episode.

[That One Eegit]

You could freeze it and take it out about midmornink for your blt

[splazem]

Yup!

[canida]

How have I not seen this Instructable before?!?
Sheer brilliance.

[splazem]

Thank you so much! I LOVE what you have done and it is an honor to have you say that! Thank you!

[Kirbsome!]

Awesome. In fact, very awesome.
What exactly does the maltodextrin do?

[splazem]

Thanks! It thickens bear (go home-brewers!)

[Jareth247]

I wanna try this with turkey bacon. Why? It's better for you and when you cook it, it gets crispy quicker AND doesn't shrink as much.

[splazem]

You do that. I'll stick with real bacon, though.

[ryanmercer]

Brilliant!

[splazem]

Thanks!

[tjesse]

Your craft skills are really bad, but I must say I'm glad you figured out how to bring bacon to the world of condiments. Take the paper off so you can take pride in the beauty of liquefied meat.

[splazem]

My craft skills were very hurt by your comment... Oh well, I must admit I'm not exactly Scoochmaroo... Thanks for the middle sentence, though! ;)

[tjesse]

I thought that it was to obvious to be considered an insult, but your welcome.

[joe.esq1]

do you have a lowfat version?

=))

[splazem]

Low fat BACON!?!? Are you crazy? :)

[blynn1]

oh dear it looks like little terds lol

great little invention there! hope ya win!

i think you must have spent the most time on this !

[splazem]

Thank you... (I think...)

[po'guin1]

Brilliant! While I have not tried the recipe, it makes sense. You may want to point out that it has no preservatives, so it's not like ketchup or mayo.. it wont keep in the fridge without spoiling for very long. I'd hate for someone to make themselves really sick. It should be OK for a week if it's kept in a very cold fridge.

[splazem]

THANK YOU SO MUCH for pointing that out I'm going to definitely add that to my instructable!

[po'guin1]

two words: food processor

[splazem]

Don't understand...

[suayres]

You obviously have not yet learned the secret to bacon-in-bulk: 1st preheat your oven to 375F, then place a cookie cooling rack in a cookie sheet. Put your bacon, separated into strips, on the rack. Place this assemblage in the oven and check every 5 minutes or so, until bacon is done to your liking. My sister, who started her career in the army, is who taught me this trick--there, it's no unusual to make bacon in 5# batches, and it would take all day to fry that much. I suppose I should try my hand at doing an instructable, but I don't know how I'd get pictures done....sigh.

[splazem]

Thanks for the tip! It's brilliant!

[atombomb1945]

Oh, you so win for this one.

[splazem]

I hope.