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My brother brakes alot of things when he is mad could someone help me stop him? (my parents don't do anything at all! Answered

When my little brother gets mad he starts to brake things including my things when i try to stop him (i have to use force) he starts crying then I get in trouble. Can some one help me stop him because my parents don't do anything except ask him to take a pill for his ADHD but half the time he doesn't take it and when he asks me if he can play one of my games and i say no he starts trying to brake things and continually asks me. Could some one please help? Part of the problem is he is smart enough to not get in trouble.

ps: sorry for the poor worded question



Best Answer 8 years ago

Keep your stuff away from him and focus him on your parent's stuff.  That way it's THEIR problem like it's supposed to be and not yours.

You cannot fix your brother's problem.  This is something your parents have to deal with (and they aren't).

ADHD isn't the same as stupid.  He is breaking YOUR things because he can get away with it and use it to intimidate you.  

if its happenining in your room  you could perhaps go buy a doornob that you can lock

he just needs a destraction. give him tasks that he will have fun with and that he could almost never actually finish. but make them fun, interesting, and away from your stuff! tell him if he finishes the task you will give him something he wants.. hopfully you have something he wants and you dont care all that much about anymore. adhd basicly just makes you hyper... it also helps to keep the house warm. beeing warm promotes sleepy time..
and maybe try to get him interested in turky ... turkey is known to promote sleep as well. i am not a doctor but one thing i know is that the meds given for adhd do not help. in the end they have side effects that you will find worse in the future.


8 years ago

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. If your parents won't listen to you, then they should listen to another adult.

Do you have a school counselor you can talk too? A trusted teacher perhaps?

Is there a Youth Line you can phone? (We have one in Australia).

Sometimes just being able to talk to someone, makes it easier to deal with an ongoing problem, even if they cannot solve for you.

Finding a 'cure' for this situation is not easy. But talking about it is a good first step,-you've done it here, so go a bit further, and talk to someone as I mentioned.

If you are already getting into trouble for handling your brother --(not hitting him I hope?-Hard not to do, but it will make things worse),--then I'm afraid nfarrow might have a point.

You might need to make it clear to your brother that 'you break mine-I'll break yours'. He will tell your parents. That is when you need to tell them calmly that you can't take it anymore, and have had to resort to this,-and that you will seek help outside the home if they don't take steps to help.

It is easy for us to say all this, and much harder for you to DO it,-but you have 'talked' about it here. That is a good first step.

Good luck to you.

ADHD is a really tricky subject;

Psychologically speaking, most normal children would defer a small 'treat' now for a larger treat later - i.e. "I'll give you 1 candy right now or if you wait 15 minutes I'll give you a package of candies".  This is a prime risk/reward scenario and can be used to teach meaningful life lessons.  Positive reinforcement being a stimulus provided to encourage good behaviour is considered one of the best methods to 'train' a behaviour.
ADHD kids will often take the one candy now, and pester for another candy immediately, disregarding the offer of the greater reward.  Because of this, positive reinforcement, while ideal, isn't suited to this personality type.

Negative reinforcement is likely to succeed, but has consequences - The removal of an adversive stimulus in order to increase the probability that a preceding behaviour will occur. An example of this is a person who eats in order to remove the negative feeling of hunger pangs.

Lastly, Punishment/Discipline is the adding of a negative consequence to an undesirable behaviour.  Grounding, spanking, "steal and we'll chop off your hand" etc.

Lots of psychologists do not recommend punishment because its effects are difficult to predict.
 For example, it may only work in the presence of their parents. If a parent spanks a child for hurting his sister, he may simply do that when they are not around.   Conversely, he may be conditioned into having negative feelings for his sister or his parents.  When he sees her, he may feel fear or withdrawal, recalling the punishment. It offers no positive instruction.  It can trigger all kinds of defense mechanisms like projection of fear or anger onto someone/something else, or rationalizing bad behaviour.

Best of luck!

I have some bad advice to give you. Ask him to stop very nicely. And if he doesn’t then very non-aggressively walk over to his favorite thing then smash it. When he goes and gets your parents say, he was just throwing one of his fits again.  That might make him relatively stop messing with your stuff. But it could just make thinks worse.

While all options are equal in war it takes a bigger person to stop.

You will be at his level if you do this.


That would work with "normal" bad behaviour, but ADHD is not so easily "trained".

Not really solvable over the internet, I'm afraid.

The best advice I can offer is to talk to your parents about the situation when things are calm, out of your brother's hearing.

If that doesn't work (and if your parents agree), you will have to talk to the doctor who diagnosed your brother's condition.

There may also be teachers/helpers at your school you may be able to speak with. They will/may know your situation better than we do and may have more advice relevant to your situation. They'll also be more approachable than your doctor for example who you'd need an appointment to see. Try this if your parent's don't listen when you speak to them as Kiteman suggested.

 But also remind your brother for taking is pills. And ask your parents to do that more often to.