Introduction: A Kid's Survival Guide

So, maybe your some adult thinking what the heck is this? Well, I'll tell you straight out. This is a guide for kids everywhere to teach them basic skills. These aren't new tricks, but they are all in one place, making them easier to find. Who knows, you might learn something. I'm sorry maybe it's not the best instructable ever, but I am responding to comments (thank you lemonie especially). For all you kids out there who are looking for something to do, this might just be what you're looking for. BTW this is my first instructable, so please post suggestions.

Note: Some of the steps were hard to follow, so those are separate instructables (just click the link)

Steps 1-3 Office weaponry
Steps 4-6 Pranks
Steps 7-9 Timekilling
Steps 10-11 Top 10 things
Step 12 "Cleaning your room"
Step 13 Conclusion

Step 1: How to Fire Rubber Bands One Handed

Amazingly, many kids don't know this one. And in this day and age where missiles are constantly being launched, you never know when you might need to defend your self.

So here goes...
1. Make your hand into a gun shape
2. Pinch the rubber band with your pinky
3. With it still pinched, pull it around your thumb (not wrapped around or anything)
4. Put the other end of the rubber band on the tip of your index finger
5. Release pinky (shoots)

Step 2: Popsicle Stick Bombs

Another weapon in office warfare--throwing this fabled weapon will cause spontaneous combustion within a five foot radius. Just use your imagination. All it actually does (for you imaginationless video game addicts) is send it's five popsicle sticks flying (if you do it just right).

1. Get five Popsicle sticks (first image)
2. Make "tree" and hold firmly at top (second image)
3. Feed a popsicle stick through the tree as "over under over" (third image)
4. Feed a second popsicle stick through tree as "under over under" (fourth image)
5. Throw

This takes some practice, but if you stick with it, it will take no more than five minutes.

Step 3: Pencil Catupult

Some guy in the seat next to you copying your answers? Teacher out of the room? Kapwing! A flying pencil shoots across the room! This simple trick turns any pencil/pen into a powerful weapon. Lay a pencil over your index finger, and under your middle finger. Now push down (can you feel it?) and release.

Step 4: Make a MS Office-annoyer!

Right click, then select "open in new tab" to go to the external instructable.

(This is the "external link" icon.)

Step 5: How to Reserve ANY Toilet!

And now... the moment we've all been waiting for! No waiting for the bathroom! No holding it while your family member goes at their own slow pace! We present--the chocolate graham cracker!

Simply smuggle a chocolate graham cracker into the bathroom, and crumble it over the toilet (no! I'm not taking a picture of it!). Do your business as usual, but DO NOT flush. Close the lid, and remember to wash your hands (yeah right!).

Step 6: Dead Legs

Right click, then select "open in new tab" to go to the external instructable.

Step 7: Nature: Get Out and Annoy!

So, are you a kid whose parents force you to go outside! Well, here's how to enjoy your time in nature...

Make a grass whistle:
1. Find a blade of grass
2. Put between thumbs (see picture)
3. Blow through hole made by two thumbs

Get good at blowing, then wait in your front yard (if you live in an apartment, lean out the window or something) for a pedestrian or car. When you see one, BLOW!

Note: trees are great hiding places

Step 8: Never Get Bored Again*

Ok, so as I hope we all know, kids have extremely short attention spans. The only way to keep yourself from falling asleep is using your immaaaagginnnaaaation (Spongebob). As stupid as it sounds, it will enable you to fight boredom for much longer! You might even enjoy going outside!

WARNING: If you are the unimaginative type, DO NOT READ!

In school:

Play the OMG were under attack game! (OMG for short)
Here's how: CRR-ACK! A huge hole appears in the wall behind your teacher, who, being absorbed in the lesson, notices too late the gun pointed at her back. Kids run for their lives as S.W.A.T. teams cause havoc you duck as a bullet misses your head by inches...

In a private backyard/large basement:

Morp, the ultimate imagination experience. Choose either Classic (medieval), Normal (present) or Ultra (future). Blast enemies, Shoot arrows, Decapitate Robots! Too stupid for you? Well, play it any way you want.

*Actually, the phrase should be "always have something to do"

Step 9: How to "hack" a Calculator to Show Weird Lines

For this, you need a regular calculator (four function). This will not work on fancy schmancy scientific calculators.

What to do:
1. Fill up the calculator screen with numbers
2. Hold down the 7 key
3. Try different combinations, but keep holding down 7

Step 10: Top 10 Ways to Misuse a Hoodie/sweatshirt

Ok... Stupidest step yet. For the people with no common sense.

Here goes!

1. Make a light blinder. Throw sweatshirt over whatever you want to protect
2. Instant Sleep Mask! Put on your head *stifles a giggle when he sees you*
3. Weapon: Whip people with this infective yet amusing weapon
4. Portable Towel/Giant Napkin: Now use your hoodie as a towel/napkin! Very convenient for dinner.
5. Instant pillow: Roll it up and never have to carry a pillow again
6. Nerf Shield: Someone trying to shoot you? Make an instant shield
7. Cover: Some stain on your floor? Cover it up with an instant rug
8. Sack: Cary all your belongings in one load!
9. Camra blind: Your annoying sibling taking a picture of you?
10. Wood floor slider: Lay on a wood floor and stand on it. Now walk (drag your feet)

Step 11: Top 10 Things to Say in the Principal's Office

1. I didn't know!
2. I feel horrible (yeah right)!
3. I would pay for it, but I don't have any money
4. It seemed like a good idea at the time
5. He did it!
6. Let's pretend I already feel really bad about this...
7. It wasn't my fault!
8. I'm sorry! I really am!
9. Here, you can hit me back
10. Look over there!

Step 12: How to "clean" Your Room in Under 30 Minutes

Right click, then select "open in new tab" to go to the external instructable.

Step 13: Other Great Instructables

Step 14: Conclusion

Well, that's enough immaturity for today. But if you want to see your own immature things here, post them in a comment, and I will add them (and credit you). If you have an idea about a way to make something better, please post it. Thank you for reading, and stay tuned for more instructables from Geek101.

For more fun, get the Klutz Encyclopedia of immaturity!