Gotcha!

This Instructable is nothing to do with weapons, but rather the creation of an heraldic "coat of arms".

There is only one organisation that can legally grant arms, and that is the College of Arms, which has been in existence since medieval times.

It costs nearly 4000GBP for an individual to be granted arms, but that doesn't stop people going through the motions for their own enjoyment.

Step 1: What Are "arms"?

"Arms" are the original identity badge.

They are the colours and patterns used by knights to identify themselves, and those they control, in the heat of battle or the confusion of the tournament field.

In a full "Achievement of Arms", the actual arms are the pattern on the shield in the middle.

The arms may have supporters (heraldic animals like lions and eagles), holding up each side of the shield, a helm above the shield and, above that, a crest.

It should be noted that the crest is just the bit above the helm - a three-dimensional badge that can be worn on the helm in real life.

Beneath the arms there may be a compartment and a scroll bearing a motto.

There may also be a badge, usually taken from part of the full Achievement, that can be used as just that, a badge - you could have it embroidered on the jackets of your pages (or branded into the shoulders of your henchmen?).

What Arms are not.

Arms are not badges that show a particular surname. If your surname is Windsor, you cannot wear just any Windsor's arms, you must wear the arms of a paternal ancestor (who may not have been called Windsor), or petition to have your own arms created anew.

Step 2: Creating Your Arms

Despite the ornate appearance of the "full achievement", and the complexity of the arms of European royalty, a good design is simple and bold.

Whilst it is usual to include references to the individual for whom the arms are created, too many references makes things messy. It is, though, traditional to include at least one pun in the design.

In proper heraldry, the final design is entirely under the control of the herald who draws up your arms, and there have been rumours of heralds including subtle puns in the design, just to show disapproval of the bearer of the arms. Be careful who you upset - their revenge could follow you down the generations.

Start with a general list of things you want in the arms; references, designs, links, even favourite colours.

I am going to go through the way I created the arms that head up this 'ible, and I am going to start with a pun; the shield itself will be a double pun on my username here.

Although the vast majority of arms are drawn up on shields that have a flat or wavy top, parallel sides and a curved-to-a-point bottom, I am going to use the same shape of shield used by the Normans - a rounded top, and long, tapered sides, it is known as a kite shield.

Doubling the pun, there is also a kind of kite called a shield kite.

Nobody said the puns had to be funny.

Step 3: Filling in the Blanks.

A plain shield might be good for Sir Anonymous, but I want to be spotted across the battlefield.

I want to get a few references in, but subtly.

My surname: Langford. It means wide river crossing.
My interests: this site, scouting, science and making.

Some things would be too obvious - there's no way I'm going to include a scouting arrowhead, or even an image of Robot.

Thinks...

Ah! In scouting, we have to know various trail signs. I can combine two signs ("water ahead" and "obstruction ahead") to show both scouting and my name.

Science and making...

Turning to online dictionaries for inspiration, I find that making has connotations of devising, qualification, development and manufacture. Science conjures up skill, learning, knowledge and reasoning.

Ah! In both making and science, a lot of fire and heat are used. When drawing diagrams of scientific apparatus, the source of heat (usually a Bunsen burner) is signified by a single, vertical arrow.

I already have a vertical arrow on my design - I'll just make it red!

I don't want a white background to my shield, so I'll make it... orange! (guess why?)

Step 4: Saying It Proper.

There is a language to heraldry.

It is complicated, and it's French. Sort of. With a bit of Latin.

So, I don't really get it.

But I'll have a go. The College of Heralds website wasn't much use on translation, so I used this online text to refer to.

What we have here, I hope, is an arrow gules rising, bisecting a river azure, thus quartering a field tenne. That is, a red arrow, pointing upwards and cutting a blue river in half, making quarters of an orange-brown background. I think.

Step 5: Your Motto

A motto should be something pithy, or stirring and dramatic.

It should be in Latin.

Unfortunately, I don't speak Latin, and I couldn't find a free online translator that was actually working.

Plus, I couldn't actually decide on a suitable motto. Here are a few that didn't quite fit the bill:

I am what I am.
Finite reality
Measurable infinity
Per ardua ad apostrophe
Yes, I am a rocket scientist
Fabricati diem, punk
Pullis corvorum invocantibus eum
Omnis quis coruscat est or

Score! I found an online Latin motto generator

Ex scientia veritas
Scientia sapientes vocat
In scientia fortitudo

(Do I detect a trend here?)

The same site also had a list of Latin phrases:

A re decedunt
Ab honesto virum bonum nihil deterret
Abnormis sapiens
Ad eundum quo nemo ante iit

Have you spotted the Star Trek reference yet?

Bene legere saecla vincer
Ceteris paribus

I'm going to stop there - I'll let you browse the site yourself, rather than quote it all here.

I've found a couple of goodies, though:

Felix qui potuit rerum cognoscere causas - Happy is he who has been able to learn the causes of things. (Vergil)
Veritas vos liberabit - The truth will set you free

Step 6: Finis

That's it for my arms.

I decided against supporters or a crest, because they didn't look right with the kite shield.

Maybe I could have put Robot on one side, and a jackalope on the other?

Have a go yourself, either for yourself, or a friend. Or for Robot?

Maybe add your arms to the comments? Or use it as an avatar?

Or get a tee-shirt printed up with it on?

Whatever you make, let me see what you've done.