Fake Mac & Cheese at Home

Introduction: Fake Mac & Cheese at Home

You know that fake macaroni and cheese that comes in a blue box? Well it's your lucky day because you too can enjoy such an opulent feast at home made with your own two hands . . . or one hand if you've had an unfortunate accident with a meat grinder, chainsaw, or rabid porcupine.

Step 1: What You Need

First thing you'll need is:

A visible means of support. You can't just be seen enjoying this fine meal without it. If the IRS caught wind they'd know something is up.


For your convenience I've shown the metric values in addition to real units of measure.

1/4 c (200 kg) Powdered cheese

1/2 lb (18pg) Pasta

1 Tb (7 L) Dry milk powder

2 slices (1/4 hammock) of Real cheese

4 Tb (14 L) Butter

1/3 c (5x10^100dL) Milk

Salt, however much tastes good at the final seasoning

Step 2: Cook It

Fill a pot with water and bring to a boil (212F at sea level or -273 Kelvin in space). Season with salt if you wish. Don't ask me how much. It's your pot it's your water. I'd base the amount on the saltiness of your water.

Cook for the recommended length (in minutes if you're in the civilized world or bitcoin if you're someone in that part of the world and understand what a blockchain is).

Strain when done.

Step 3: Mix It Up

Add all of the powders and butter and liquid. I said milk before, but you could use cream. Or bourbon if the mood takes you.

Stir until everything melts and blends together and looks as it should. Season with extra salt as directed by your cardiologist.

Step 4: Eat It

See? Looks just like when you were a kid. And if you look at the ingredients of the cheese powder it seems to be fairly wholesome with nothing that sounds at all sketchy.

Scoop some into a bowl and eat it. Or, let's be serious here, eat it out of the pot. Because that's what we all secretly do because cooking makes dishes and poop to that noise! And honestly you're probably just eating this because you're high and couldn't muster enough attention and energy to do cook a real meal let alone do dishes.

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