Introduction: How to Be a Blogger
Learn how to live like a blogger in these simple steps.
Step 1: Create a Blog
To live like a blogger, you must first have a blog! Sign up with a unique username and password on Tumblr. Follow Blogs with your own interests, reblog and like posts that interest you, and become a part of the community.
Step 2: Fangirl Over Your Interests
Go completely crazy over the things you enjoy. Dedicate your blog to the celebrity that you adore, listen to every song from your favorite band, read the same book 5 times, decorate your room in the style of a TV show you love to watch or draw fan art of your favorite movie character. Generally freak out about the things you're into.
Step 3: Develop Poor Sleep Habits
To truly embrace the blogging lifestyle, get as little sleep as you can stand, or, if you prefer, sleep during the day and stay up all night. Drinking coffee or soda will surely keep you awake for a few more hours of scouring the internet for that hilarious YouTube video you saw 3 years ago!
Step 4: Maintain an Unhealthy Diet
No one can see you from behind the computer screen, so take advantage of pigging out. Pizza, ramen noodles, chocolate, soda, snacks, and candy are popular favorites of Blogger Cuisine. You'll start eating fruits and vegetables.... later.
Step 5: Avoid People
If you plan on being a successful blogger, social activity should be low on your priority list. Stay in your room, don't go to parties or social events and only make contact when the internet connection goes out or you need more money. Do not go out in crowds, shake hands with strangers, or be the first person to try and start a friendship. (Especially stay away from the last one, new friends will want to hang out and take you away from your comfortable home!)
Step 6: Get Some Exercise
With all the junk food and endless hours of sitting with little to no motion besides mouse-clicks, it is best to get *some* exercise so that you don't turn into a giant potato. I recommend moving to the other side of the bed/couch, or for the brave bloggers, doing a jumping jack or two just to get your (most likely cholesterol filled) blood moving.
Step 7: Stay Away From Sunlight
One of the most important steps to becoming a full-fledged blogger is to STAY AWAY FROM SUNLIGHT. Stay indoors at all times, shut the curtains around the house and turn off all other lights. The only light you need is the comforting glow of your computer screen.
Step 8: Stand Up for Your Opinions
To end on a more serious note; as a blogger you should always stand up for your opinions. If you feel a certain way about an important issue or current event, do not feel ashamed to speak out about it. If someone gets you down for the opinions that you have, remember that they are only just another faceless name on the internet and your values and ideas should always be important to you.