Introduction: How to Make Something

Good evening, afternoon, morning, whatever time of the day it is for you. In my deepest moments of reflection, contemplation, exaggeration, I find myself thinking of the wrongs of these worlds. The injustice, the loss of humanity, and so forth. How can I, sitting alone in the dark brushing my hair, help the world? I then gravitate my thoughts to righting these wrongs. How do you do that? What an enormous task for one to engage. And then like mustard out of the squeezed mustard bottle, a ribbon of light burst through my darkness, jettisoning me into a state of awe, revealing the answer. To teach others how to make something.

I know, you've heard it all before. "This is how to cut tree down" or "How to bake a bread" but here, I plan to present something radically different, hoping to change the trajectory of mankind in order to show the world through the world wide web how to simply make something. This is a large task, and through the internet site instructable.com I plan on showing you, the reader, how to make something. Steps by steps you will learn my secrets on how to make something and this knowledge can further the world quest to utopia in the cosmos.

What's that you ask?

To answer, I'll give a quick explanation of things. Some-thing comes from something else. The things of this world started out smaller and probably got bigger. Super gravity, suns, stars, and the orbits of planets and rocks keep the things from being nothing to something. In the daily to daily life we find things like leaves, roads, sunglasses, and sandwiches that seem to have come from nowhere! How did these things get made? Did the aliens who brought us rocks and newspapers also drop off these things? I think not. So this guide will serve a dual function. To show that things are made and that things can be made by you. And if you follow correctly and are inspired maybe I will be making your something too! If you can write correctly and teach me how.

In this introduction, I'm going to list the tools and materials needed to start the make something:

  1. Plaster Cast Of Teeth
  2. Hack Saw
  3. Packaging Tape
  4. Three receipts
  5. Scissors
  6. Spinach
  7. Access to the outdoors
  8. Puddle
  9. Rock
  10. Puddle
  11. Black Goo
  12. Wild Wild World Of Animals: Songbirds published by Time Life Films 1978 book
  13. Camera
  14. Computer
  15. Printer
  16. Printer Paper
  17. Access to Toilet
  18. Spackling Paste
  19. Sunflower Seeds
  20. Porch or windowsill

Ok. So lets get into it. This is how to make something.

Step 1: Cutting the Teeth

Start with a plaster cast of your teeth. The cast should be roughly about six years old. Accumulated grime and dust is necessary. With the hacksaw cut it in half. Then cut it in quarters. Take your time, it's important that these cuts are clean and vertical.

Step 2: Collecting Dust

With the packaging tape, lay it sticky side down on top of the dust generated from the cutting. Roll it out in strips, overlapping to create a sheet of plastic on top of the dust.

Step 3: Receipts, Receipts, Receipts!

Flip over the sticky tape so it's adhesive side up. With the three receipts, lay them down on the tape sheet. Then roll them into a tube and with the scissors chop off the ends. Stuff spinach into one end of the tube.

Step 4: Lets Go on a Trip

Go outside! How fun. Find a puddle on the side of the street. With your spinach wand, dip it in the puddle and draw an "A" on the sidewalk. Take a rock nearby and leave the spinach wand two blocks away.

Step 5: Rock and Roll

With the rock, dip it in premium black goo. I opt for smaller containers when using black goo, but whatever works for you works! Place the goo-ed rock on top of the picture of a "Shining Robe" bird from the Wild, Wild World Of Animals: Songbirds. Don't throw it, don't smash it, don't even wobble it, just a light touch would do. The goo should stick well.

Step 6: Print That!

Take a photo of the rock on the bird. Bird Rock! Send that to the computer. Print print print. Black and white and fast. The printing time is key.

Step 7: Crafts

With the magic pen labled "Liason Office" trace the outline of the bird, where the bird meets the world, on the quick print. Now. Carefully. With the scissors cut somewhat evenly spaced lines in the paper.

Step 8: FLUSHED!

Now take an arbitrary line of paper out of the batch. Go to the toilet down the hall and flush it. Get rid of it. No More!

Step 9: Shredded

With the rest of the paper cut the strips into smaller pieces. Then, why not. Cut the other strips into smaller strips. Lets go all the way here.

Step 10: Goup It Up Baby!

With the spackling goo, rub it all around the papers. Make a small ball, similar to the rock in the other sections. Once it's all balled up rub in "Spicy Sweet Chili Spitz" into the ball. Sometimes I use the Dill Pickle flavor but recently I've found that the spicy sweet variety works the best. Take the seeded ball and leave it on the windowsill for about a week. The longer the better

And in the next instructable I'll show you what to do with that seeded ball. But this is enough for now. Check back in to find out how to get the seeded ball into a real something.