Introduction: How to Make a Placenata
Whether tossed out with the trash, buried in the backyard, or mixed into your favorite soup recipe, the placenta is an organ worth celebrating over. The following tutorial outlines how to combine the ultimate party favor, the piñata, with the ultimate afterbirth.
Step 1: Step 1
Begin with an oblong, spherical piñata. Paint it with several layers of goopy red and brown paint. We used Crayola brand finger paints because they are non-toxic without sacrificing any gross-looking qualities. To achieve a thicker consistency we suggest adding RIT dye. RIT not only adds to the girth but also floods one with memories of tye-dying in Mrs. Chistophersonâs art class.
Step 2: Step 2
Make sure to leave areas of thick dark red or brown paint to simulate placental veins.
Step 3: Next Step
Note: Using a slightly green undercoat really accentuates the reds.
Step 4: Step 4
The umbilical cord is fashioned out of torn red rags woven into a lumpy rope. These can be found in the automotive section at your local grocery store.
Step 5: Another Step
Generously apply red paint. Everything must be covered in blood.
Step 6: And Yet Another Step
Attach the cord to the placenta. It will serve as the rope from which you dangle the piñata.
Step 7: And Another Step...
Fill with appropriate candy. We used Sour Patch Kids and Swedish Fish. San Fransisco Fred asked if the fish were to emulate semen. No Fred, though a valid question, we just happen to love Swedish Fish. The Sour Patch Kids, on the other hand, were meant to represent preemies.
Step 8: Step 8
Toy babies are an elegant touch that adds authenticity.
Step 9: Step 9
Your placeñata is ready to be smashed. But donât skimp on ancillary party details.
Step 10: Party Musts
Like the Mariachi band.
Step 11: Party Musts Cont.
And dancing gringos.
Step 12: Back to Instructions
Once the party is well underway break out the blindfold and hitting stick. Sam only had a fishing rod, which worked wonderfully.
Step 13: Almost There
ha ha ha... look at everyone having soooo much fun
Step 14: Success
Yippeeeee!
Step 15: Final
Alas, another party/pregnancy has ended in a pile of beer cans and wrinkled, bloody dreams.
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46 Comments
11 years ago on Introduction
Veerry interesting, but I must say it looks more like a dissected brain balloon. I've seen & studied a couple of my own placenta growths spread flat out or in a bowl and they were much more silvery blue and smooth - not too much blood. Fun idea but not at all realistic. Haha. ~:oP
11 years ago on Step 4
WELL....obviously....they are not afraid of it.lmao, i think they're funny
12 years ago on Introduction
You should put condoms in there too, to aid in preventing creation of a new placenta... :P
12 years ago on Introduction
Ummm, Why??? The point?
12 years ago on Introduction
This'll be great for my next abortion party, thank you.
12 years ago on Introduction
that. is. epic. you are amazing.
13 years ago on Introduction
Sick, but cool at the same time.
13 years ago on Introduction
That's really quite gross.
13 years ago on Introduction
What's wrong with you? Are you afraid of the organ that gave you life?
13 years ago on Step 15
Uhh, what's the point??????????????????????????????
13 years ago on Introduction
Cool, reminds me of a baby harp seal pinata I once made for a Politically Incorrect party at the Circus in Santa Cruz, it was filled with red vines and beef jerky and you had to hit it with a rifle butt.
13 years ago on Introduction
man that is wrong on so many levels, heh,heh,heh i love it.
13 years ago on Introduction
For epic lulz, you should make a giant wire coat hanger to extract the babies!
13 years ago on Introduction
Gross!
13 years ago on Introduction
AWESOME!!!!!!!!
13 years ago on Introduction
This is the funniest thing I've ever seen on this site. Very appropriate for a Halloween party or a Baby shower =).
13 years ago on Introduction
No comment. Oh wait, this is a comment. Well, this is sick, in the good way and the bad way.
13 years ago on Introduction
Bwahahaha! Thats sick, but halarious. Funny part is that i didn't really get the name and thought it was a testicle at first, now theres a project!
Good job on the instructable'
13 years ago on Introduction
This is insulting to women with mustaches and people who wear black everywhere. Not to mention the alien insectoid mother you dismembered and then abused for your amusement. You're sick, childless puppies.
13 years ago on Introduction
This way out-does my turkey neck-bones Christmas tree ornaments!